Xiao Xia, when you read these words written by your mother one day, you may suddenly feel funny.

Such a so-called adult, a person who should have matured a long time ago, according to the words of the ancients, a person who stands in his thirties, but has so many hesitations, so many dissatisfaction and sadness, so many jumps and melancholy, always writing emotions and confiding them to a younger person. What do you think of it, and how do you evaluate it? Xiao Xia, don't you have to laugh it off.

This is not very common in the time and space where my mother lives. Grandpa's state of mind, my mother doesn't know. The emotions or thoughts they show in front of their mothers are more like a performance. The purpose is often to make me feel guilty, to make me feel responsible, to make me feel like I'm not doing well enough. Sometimes, the purpose is also very simple, it has nothing to do with the mother, they just want to behave perfectly.

Now, when my mother looks back occasionally, she realizes that the content of their performances often does not match the reality, and she never explains them. To this day, my mother doesn't dare to say that she knows what they really want and what it is. And what is their goal in life?

Mom sometimes thinks that maybe this series of drama performances is the instinct of everyone in their time. If you are entangled again, why are your mother and grandpa not talking to each other and playing against each other.

Jumping out of that stage, moms from different time and space get along with you in another way. I'm going to expose my script to you. is not bored to stage countless monologues, and is not afraid of kitsch interpretation and retelling of rival plays. While performing, my mother thought, Xiaoxia, in your time and space, will it be different, what kind of way will you express yourself?

You, me, grandpa, we exist in a completely different time and space. They have very different styles of behavior and have huge differences in their ways of getting along. In the face of some things, my mother and my grandfather will even hold completely opposite positions, and the natural ways to deal with them are completely different. As a family that has lived together for many years, this situation may not be easy for outsiders to understand.

Later, my mother gradually learned some little knowledge about inheritance, and realized that the interaction between people does not only make us similar, but sometimes makes us two completely opposite people. There is no need to judge whether this is right or wrong.

Maybe my mother's current wish to confide is precisely because my mother has never read my grandfather's script, so with her unvented desire, she will give you all her thoughts and thoughts. Who knows if this will become a burden for you, causing another wonderful effect on you to return to your grandfather's closed communication style.

Xiao Xia, my mother said a lot, because this autumn is very difficult for my mother. There may not be a time or season that can be described as completely relaxed or completely happy. It may be that we are under pressure and risk every day, every season, and we are faced with choices at any time. But at this moment, my mother really felt a little difficult.

The pressure of this difficulty can no longer be hidden. At my mother's age, life can easily leave a mark on my face. Today, my mother looks serious and sad, which is a true reflection of the current situation.

The reason for this is because my mother is at a turning point in her life.

Grandma used to say to my mother, you failed, left your previous marriage and family, and now you have nothing, so you can't do this in the future, you have to learn a lesson, step by step, and make everything okay.

That sounds reasonable, full of calm and wisdom, right? But in fact, every time my mother heard it, she would be provoked to anger.

Because I have suffered in the past, I no longer allow myself to make wrong choices. How should such a wish be realized? Faced with a child who had failed the exam, her parents said to her, you have already failed once, and you must get a full score next time.

It's ridiculous, it's ridiculous, what's the use of such a reminder.

That being said, scolding like this. But my mother has always listened to my grandfather's words. Mom is very cautious and scared. Every step seems to want to avoid all risks, I am very scared, and my heart is trembling all the time. Don't make the wrong decision again, this phrase keeps ringing. What should I do so that I don't make mistakes again? How to get along with others, how to stay in love and youth, how to be rich and successful, how to do Cinderella-style, so that you can live happily with the prince from now on.

I always thought like this, but in fact, my mother didn't know anything. The next step in walking, whether to go left or right first, what is the right one, Mom doesn't know.

There are many self-improvement books in the United States that say to live a principled life. Choose to be a good person, know how to take responsibility, prioritize things, act with goals, be independent and share with others at the same time, and continue to study hard and insist on progress.

So the left foot or the right foot comes first. I need to think about whether this is the path I want to take, can I take the responsibility of walking and wrestling, have I thought about where I am going, and whether I would rather walk with people.

Do I really want to be with the prince. Is it a good choice to live happily ever after?

When everything was dissected by methodology, my mother began to wonder if everything was what I wanted from the very beginning.

Xiao Xia, when I was with your father, my mother didn't think about anything, let alone analyze and calculate. To this day, there are still countless people who tell their mothers that they should have been like this and that they should have been like that, but their mothers sometimes feel that they were good at that time. If you're lucky, you might be able to live a normal life with your dad. All the overwhelm has never come, and there is no need to choose. In that way, my mother will never think about whether she should walk with her left foot first or her right foot first. Don't complain, I have never learned how to take steps, it is right. This may be considered a type of happiness.

Now that autumn has arrived, it is very windy and cold, and it is inconvenient to travel every day. Mom remembers that when it was cold, Dad would spray perfume on the scarf, and Mom felt very sissy. It's this season again, and this winter, mom may step on the snow, maybe step out of the left foot first, and then the right foot. Walking and walking, the people around you may be wearing scarves, there may be fragrance, or not, after walking for a long time, I don't know if my mother will be cold and panicked, and my mother will talk to you when the time comes.