Before elementary school, ignorance is called childhood, carefree, ignorant and fearless. Entering middle school, getting in touch with the outside world, increasing knowledge, and maturing the mind, is called a teenager. After graduating from high school, stepping into the society, enriching experience, and being busy with his career, he is called a young man.

Boarding school, after a long time, the initial curiosity passed, only to know that the mountain village is closed, the transportation is inconvenient, the life is backward, and the gap is too big. The children of cadres and the children of the unit eat better than us, dress better than us, and grow taller, stronger, and whiter than us.

Children from rural areas, especially children from remote mountain villages like me, look dark and thin, dressed in tatters and tatters in front of them, and when they first enter the adolescence, their inferiority complex has quietly grown in their hearts.

Youth, is the era of inferiority, is the era of depression, soon after entering junior high school, it has appeared, and since then, until the end of high school, can never return to a carefree childhood.

Low self-esteem and no self-improvement, not timely guidance, becoming more and more sluggish, more and more depressed, maybe there has been guidance, but young and ignorant, unfamiliar, unable to open the mind, muddy, I don't know why.

A melancholy teenager, depressed and depressed, with a mind, no longer cheerful, afraid of being made fun of, afraid of being looked down upon, afraid of being bullied, afraid of being loud, not smiling. Only in front of a few particularly good classmates, or in front of a small person who is also from the countryside, can he let go and laugh loudly like childhood.

I don't know how to work hard, my academic performance is average, and in front of my relatives and friends, I gradually fade the aura of the son of a "college student", and I am considered to have a difficult future.

The young man is unwilling to be ordinary, so he always wants to show his extraordinary, although he is thin, every time he returns home, he begins to carry heavy burdens like his father.

The first time I picked up two buckets full of water, the heavy pressure on my immature shoulders, I still remember, it was too heavy, but I refused to give up, like an adult, a little bit and no less, a few breaks in the middle, but also to persevere.

After picking it back, he lifted a bucket full of water by himself and poured it into the water tank, the person was too small and not strong enough, and used all his strength with both hands, sticking to the edge of the water tank, dragging the whole bucket of water up, and then pouring it into the water tank.

The attitude towards my sister and sister has also changed significantly.,Especially for my sister.,I especially don't like her finger-pointing.,Whenever there is always a "war" at this time.,Although my father didn't authorize it.,But I also began to like to control the two younger sisters.。

The real purpose of discipline may still be to compete with my sister for authority, and sometimes it seems to be vexatious.

In the evening, my father came home and learned the reason, and took a "cow slightly" and drove me out of the water to the shore, beating me hard, and the blood stains were all over my body, perhaps from that day, I knew that father's love is not only spoiled, but also harsh.

The most serious one came from the rebellious mentality. I quarreled with my mother because of something, and my mother was so angry that she chased after me, and when I came back, my father actually took a pole in his hand and slashed it on my lap, making me kneel in front of my mother to make amends.

The teenager was rebellious, and my father used the most primitive method to make me remember who was my biological mother, who may not become a talent, but I can't deviate from the scriptures. Since that time, I have been truly afraid of my father, and I no longer dare to act recklessly in front of him.

Maybe I don't see anything from me, that is, this year, my parents gave birth to their fifth child, who happened to be one round younger than me, and became my youngest brother.

Why did I want to have a younger brother, I was too young at the time to think about it so much, but I was very happy about the birth of my younger brother, and I loved it very much. Not long after I was born, I put it in my aunt's belt, and I went to pick it up, and I also took the nickname.

There are a few people in the Phoenix Mountain team who were admitted to junior high school, but only my sister and I really went to school. Therefore, a sense of superiority was born, and every time I went home, in front of other friends, I would always reveal some arrogance with "knowledge" and "knowledge".

Maybe I left school, maybe I had some courage after growing up, my playmate when I was a child, no longer let me, so I was insulted a few times, and the melancholy teenager was even more depressed.

A man who is five or six years older than me, who can already be regarded as a young man, Gao An has just gotten a pair of leather shoes, and may be the first person in our brigade to wear leather shoes, so he is particularly arrogant.

I had an argument with him, and he kicked me down and kicked him with his shoes. This incident caused a lot of trouble, so his parents went to his house to ask for guilt, but fortunately they were not hurt much.

A classmate who is two or three years older than me and has always been in elementary school was admitted to junior high school, and it seems that he went to register, but in the end he didn't go to school.

Once, when I came home, I was playing with them herding cows, and in the middle of a joke, he said that one person could rip off my pants, of course I couldn't stand it, but he really stripped me naked in front of everyone, and I was ashamed.

The neighbor's brother-in-law, who has no culture, usually treats me well, and I like to chat with him very much. When chatting with him, I learned that there is a language art in the countryside, and a few sentences can often make others laugh.

Maybe I heard that I sold some middle school knowledge, and I remember that he asked me a few questions, but I don't remember what he asked, but I can't answer them anyway.

After that, I heard him say, "In ancient times, a talent like you was considered a showman, 'if you don't go out, you know the world', I don't know this, I don't know that, and I still say that I have read a book?" "I was speechless and ashamed.

And I was really too weak, once I took a detour to my grandmother's house to go to school, and when I arrived not far from my grandmother's house, there was a stone arch bridge, the slope was very steep, there were no guardrails on both sides, and when I pedaled the bicycle to the top of the bridge, I didn't have enough strength and fell directly from the bicycle.

At that time, the 28 bicycle was relatively tall and bulky, too small and too short, and I had to stand on tiptoe to barely step on it, and my parents did it for a long time, even if I finished high school, I could continue to use it.

When the bicycle falls, the foot can not reach the ground, can only follow the fall, but fell out of the guardrail, the bicycle is left on the bridge, but the person falls straight down with his head down, the stone arch bridge has two feet high, there is no time to react, can only look at the head planted.

Under the stone arch bridge is a hard gravel ground, so the consequences of planting are unimaginable, fortunately, the fate is big, the place where it falls, just along the river, forming a hurdle, the head happens to just avoid the gravel ground, and the shoulder just tops the ridge.

Then, with the support of his shoulders, he fell into the river, but his shoulders were a little sore, his clothes were soaked, and nothing else.

Soon after entering the school, Huibu Middle School began to plan to relocate, and the new school site was selected in Xinhuibu, where the township ** is located, adjacent to the commune canteen where my grandfather worked, vacating a piece of dry land and connecting a hillside.

The foundation has not yet been leveled, and the school organized us students to work and study, and asked us to go home and bring hoes, shovels, "picks" and other labor tools to work here, perhaps to exercise our labor ability, or to save construction funds.

In the 80s, the chief architect of reform and opening up personally grasped education, and he had the impression that no matter which school he went to, he was building teaching buildings, office buildings, and dormitory buildings, and the process of transferring or going on to higher education was almost always a process of witnessing the construction of a new school.

In elementary school, work-study was sometimes to go up the mountain to chop firewood, sometimes to go down to the field to cut rice and plant seedlings, sometimes to pick up rice ears, sometimes to hand over "brooms" or bamboo brooms, since entering junior high school, all work-study has become labor.

In junior high school, I can no longer be as willful as in elementary school, so I know the majesty of the teacher, and I know why those classmates in the primary school are so afraid of my father, and I am also quite afraid of the teacher, far away from my relatives, everything is controlled by the teacher.

Under the command of the teacher, I walked three or four miles to the new school site, and no longer dared to be lazy like the family doing farm work, and honestly picked up the soil.

Born in a peasant family, I don't feel too tired to do this little work, I am afraid of the teacher, so I want to do more and win the teacher's praise, but the "sloppy" given by the family is too broken, the loopholes are too big, and I can't pretend much, and the labor performance is not outstanding, and I am not recognized, and I am a little annoyed.

Whenever I go to my relatives' house to help with farm work, if I don't do well, I am no longer as tolerant as before, and I criticize directly with a straight heart, and often express dissatisfaction with subtlety.

Of course, I can feel this, I don't know how to resist when I'm young, I can't refute it, I don't know when it started, I become more and more silent, I am more and more afraid of adults' faces, and I am becoming more and more obedient, and then adults say that this is an honest child.

Maybe this is the best evaluation, and the best praise you can get, and for this evaluation and praise, no matter what you do, you work very hard.

The eldest daughter of my aunt's family, who was only three or four years old at that time, didn't want anyone else, so she asked me to carry it from Dongling to Phoenix Mountain, and from Phoenix Mountain to Xianglu Mountain.

I thought she liked me very much, but later I found out that other people, including my sister, often pinch her ass behind her back, only I can't stand a few good words, and I have always been careful to carry her, no wonder as long as I carry it.

The competitiveness in my bones will still show itself from time to time, and I will always pick the moment to show that I am different or better than others.

Once when I went back to my hometown, I was encountering the demolition and construction of a house, and despite the dissuasion of my cousins, I still climbed high on the wall, to show that I was not afraid of the sky and the earth, and to show that I was jumping on the high wall as usual, but I stepped on it and fell to the foot of the wall.

The wall is too high, the corners of the wall are full of demolished bricks, and the forehead is deeply smashed into a big hole by the sharp corners of the bricks, bleeding like an infusion, and the old family is scared up and down.

That year, there were still things that happened, many rural production teams have purchased walk-behind tractors, Zuo Shan's third uncle's eldest son, is responsible for driving their production team's walk-behind tractors, used to help the team pull things when the farm is busy, and can be used by themselves in their spare time, which is the benefit of driving a walk-behind tractor.

Rural transportation is inconvenient, sometimes with a walk-behind tractor to carry people, once I don't know why, this cousin from Zuoshan pulled a car full of people, to my house, I could also sit, but I am skilled in cycling, to compare with the walk-behind tractor a fast and slow.

The mountain road is rugged, and you really have to keep up with it all the way. However, there was a steep slope that was too steep and long, and the bicycle was too fast to brake when going downhill, so I had to turn the faucet and rush into the bushes on the side when I saw that I was about to hit the walk-behind tractor in front of me.

The fall was not very heavy, the bushes blocked it, which slowed down the impact, but the bushes were not lightly scratched, the face was scratched, the hands and feet were scratched, the clothes were also scratched, and the bicycle was also deformed.

On the tractor, the relatives laughed when they looked at it, saying that they were as embarrassed as they were. Inflicted on himself, who can be blamed, under the ridicule, twisted the deformed dragon head, and continued to step forward.

Melancholy affects the personality, such as negative emotions, which are born deep in the heart, and are not noticed at that time, and then different environments and different exposures are triggered, more or less, light or severe, affecting growth.