Chapter 4 Motherhood is Rigid
Time flies, and two years have passed.
Early one morning in August 1983, at the foot of the hill behind the Panlong Village Cemetery, the loud cry of a newborn could be heard again.
"Mom, is this time a boy or a girl?" Zhu Shuilian lay weakly and asked Qin Fengying, who helped her deliver the baby.
"Daughter."
"Why? Why is it a daughter again? God, have mercy on me! When will I have a son? Zhu Shuilian was sweating profusely, tearful, weak and desperate.
"You've just given birth, don't cry. Forget it, if you want me to say that! Don't toss! Look at this kid, how beautiful he is! You and he are destined to have no children! It's a shame that he's not at home this time, otherwise I don't know what kind of foolish thing he would have to do. ”
Qin Fengying helped Zhu Shuilian cover the quilt and sent the child to her daughter: "You can rest and breastfeed the child!" Look at your daughter, she is white and fat, with big eyes and a lot of water! ”
After speaking, he couldn't help but lower his head and kissed the baby's face.
"What about that kid last time?" Zhu Shuilian had a thousand knots in her heart, opened her eyes and glanced at the baby, but in her mind she was imagining the face shape of her fourth daughter.
"The same water spirit as Wu'er, the face is melon seed-shaped. Wu'er weighs a little more and has a slightly rounder face. ”
Hearing this, Zhu Shuilian stopped talking.
After a while, she felt tired and sleepy, closed her eyes and fell asleep.
"Don't, don't take my baby away! Give it back to me! "Zhu Shuilian, who fell asleep, had a nightmare in which a man took her child away.
She kicked desperately on her feet, trying to catch up with the man who had snatched her child.
Hands clawed wildly, scrambling for children in their dreams.
The mouth kept calling for help: "Help! Help me! My child, my child! ”
"Wake up! The kids are here! Qin Fengying heard the crying, ran over from the kitchen, shook Zhu Shuilian awake, and carried her daughter, who was still asleep, into her arms.
It seems to feel the mother's embrace, and the sleeping baby moves, and his little hands are shaking.
Zhu Shuilian held her little hand, slowly moved her into her arms tighter, and fed her milk.
The little one sucked hard.
During that time, Zhang Changwen's unit had a lot of things to do and was very busy, and it took five months before he was finally able to take a vacation.
By this time, his fifth daughter had been able to turn over skillfully and try to sit up independently on her own.
She was pink, her big eyes flickered from time to time, her skin was white and red, and her little mouth was like a lovely cherry.
Because she had just drunk milk, Zhu Shuilian hugged her vertically and gently helped her on the back with her hand.
The child lay on his mother's shoulder with a happy and peaceful face.
This is the scene that Zhang Changwen saw after coming back after not stepping into the house for five months.
His brow furrowed, his face expressionless, strode through the back door.
The leather shoes on the feet made a dull "stomping" sound.
The baby was suddenly alarmed, and when Zhang Changwen walked to him, he opened his cherry mouth and cried.
"Take it away, take it away!" Zhang Changwen waved his hand irritably.
At the first glance of the baby, he knew that this was another child he didn't want.
Zhu Shuilian hurriedly carried her to the outside of the house for a walk.
At dinner in the evening, Zhang Changwen had a straight face and frowned, with a thoughtful decision: "Why don't you give her away?" Now every family is busy farming, and no one has time to pay attention to who has children, so no one reports me. If someone remembers this and reports me like last time, I'll have to be suspended from work at home again. If you raise your child in front of you, you want to lie and say that you can't lie if you don't have a child. ”
"I don't! Don't you think! Who in the village didn't see me pregnant? Who doesn't know that I gave birth to a daughter, let them report it! ”
As soon as Zhu Shuilian heard the "gift", she immediately became emotional: "I still want to tell you that I don't want to have any more children in the future!" What did you say about the previous child, you said that you would give it away, but why did you ...... her?"
Zhu Shuilian dropped her chopsticks, her eyes widened, and she looked at Zhang Changwen with hatred and grievance.
"What do you say? You? Do you want me to cut off my roots? Zhang Changwen roared angrily.
"You want to give her away unless I'm dead! What is not rooted, who is rare! After Zhu Shuilian put down this sentence, she picked up her daughter and rushed out of the house.
The heart is pounding.
She was afraid that Zhang Changwen would chase her out and beat her, so when she waited for a while and saw that there was no movement, she took her daughter to the vegetable garden at the back of the house.
The small pieces of flat land that Zhang Changwen had carved out at the beginning were fenced off by her and built into a green vegetable garden.
For the first time after marriage, Zhu Shuilian still felt a little scared when she thought about it.
But it's cool.
She has been forbearant before, her mother-in-law's harshness, uncle's domineering and her husband's brutality and tyranny are because she is poor and hungry.
But she has been working so hard and hard, why can't she even protect her daughter?
Why should I compromise, obey my husband's commands?
Anyway, now that the family has land and land, and so much land has been cleared around the house, she has more land than anyone else in the village, and as long as she works hard, she and her daughter will never starve.
The moonlight in the sky poured down through the cracks in the dense woods on the mountain, the shadows of the trees were dappled, and the stars fell down on the vegetable garden.
The rape flowers shine with a golden glow.
There was silence all around, and the howl of the wolves was inaudible.
Although the child in his arms lay quietly, his eyes were restless, sometimes open and sometimes closed.
A little alert look.
As if he was afraid that she would leave her.
Zhu Shuilian, what are you afraid of! It's a big deal.
If he wants to give the child away, he says "give away", give away......
As soon as she thought of the word "give away", she cramped and trembled.
No, he must not be allowed to succeed.
If he dares to do that again, she will expose him herself!
She didn't believe what he said about "giving away" anymore!
Zhu Shuilian's fierce resistance to his posture just now shocked Zhang Changwen.
Is she still the beautiful wife who has always been obedient to him?
Zhang Changwen sat blankly at the table, waiting for a long time and not waiting for Zhu Shuilian to come back with the child.
He lit his cigarette and smoked it one after the other, and the wicks of the oil lamps in the room swayed in the wind, and the fire flickered and dimmed.
As a public official, he did not hesitate to defy the law and order his mother-in-law to take the life of his own daughter.
Take one away, and want to reach out to the other.
No wonder the wife has such a strong antagonistic mood towards herself.
I was pregnant for ten months, and the flesh and blood that fell from my body! But without a son, he Zhang Changwen will have no next generation, and he will not be able to complete the task of inheriting the Zhang family!
The villagers would also look down on him.
In the smoke, Zhang Changwen's hand holding the cigarette trembled slightly.
How is this like him! What about the one who was not afraid of danger before?
If he had been so easily flustered, he would have been where he was supposed to be.
He thought about it a lot, but the only thing he couldn't understand was the sudden change in Zhu Shuilian's attitude towards him.
When did she become so strong?
What is it that gives his wife, who has always been submissive to him before, the confidence to compete with him?
Is it really just because I'm too cruel?
Throwing the last cigarette butt on the ground and stepping on it, Zhang Changwen walked into the room and slammed the door with a grim face.