Thinking back to Xie Yan's treatment of me, I know that he loves me and cares about me all the time, although the way may not be what I don't like, but it doesn't mean that I don't love him because of this, in my heart, Xie Yan is all I have, I can't live in this world without him, on the contrary, if he loses me, I will also kill myself.

It is precisely because of this that when I actually had the idea of falling in love with someone else in my heart just now, I felt so panicked and uneasy, because that was the most hated and intolerable thing I hated, I never felt that this kind of thing had absolutely nothing to do with me, but now I am the most shameful betrayal of this kind of behavior and now I have actually made this kind of mistake, this sudden sense of moral breakage made me feel a little overwhelmed for a while, because this subverted the most stubborn cognition in my heart, In my heart, it is impossible and impossible for a girl and a pure girl to fall in love with two men at the same time.

I suddenly felt that my heart was very tired and tired, I don't know why I suddenly felt that way, but this feeling obviously happened to me, I couldn't betray a man I loved so much and choose to fall in love with another man.

Although the two men I fall in love with now are equally excellent, each of them has a world-shattering appearance, and one has unfathomable mana, and the other has a desirable huge influence in society, if you really want to compare these two people together, they really have their own merits and are equally divided, but it is useless to compare them, but I can't betray one person to fall in love with another, if I hadn't fallen in love with Xie Yan before, maybe I might still consider being with Chen Jiaming, But now I have chosen to be with Xie Yan, if empathy is turning to Chen Jiaming now, then I am still love, then this is not love, but betrayal!

I have always believed that love is not just a momentary impulse brought about by a hormone, but also represents a responsibility, which not only means that he is responsible for the people who love him, but also means that he is responsible for the people he loves.

It is often the person who gives love who bears too much, and the person who bears the loved is the most likely to betray and break his heartbreak, so he can't give love too easily, because once he gives love? It was the equivalent of making a promise that he would never betray and never divert his love.

The kind of love that can be easily transferred to other people, that is definitely not a heartfelt, sincere love, but a very casual cheap love, or that kind of cheap love can be said to be not worthy of being called love at all, but a kind of play, an excuse to amuse one's own loneliness.

Maybe just now when Chen Jiaming answered my question, he inadvertently said that he had silently paid attention to my behavior, I did have some little joy in my heart, I was secretly happy that she really did those actions, which shows that he really has me in his heart, he has always been silently paying attention to me, but because of some of his own psychology, his attention and concern for me did not actively show on the surface to please me, he just hid it deep in his heart, But this is also a good indication that he really loves me, otherwise he would have been able to say it easily and casually, and if I showed that I didn't love him, then he would immediately look for the next person.

If he is the kind of person who is looking for lonely comfort, as long as I show a little bit of disinterest in him, then he will give up on me and look for someone who is interested in him, because he can't afford to wait and doesn't want to wait, for him, waiting a little longer is equivalent to a little more loneliness, for him it can easily cause tons of damage, he can't afford to wait, and he can't afford to wait.

But Chen Jiaming is just not that kind of person, he is a man who takes love seriously, in order to love him, he can silently guard and wait, I believe that if it wasn't for this time accidentally showing his feet, maybe I would never know that there is still this kind of mind in his heart, he actually loves me.

But all this came too fast, I don't know how to face him, just treat him as a good friend, and the pursuit of his passion is not taken seriously, if there is no feeling of a heartbeat, it is false, every time I hear his gentle words, full of strong love for me, my heart is as sweet as eating honey, really very sweet.

Xie Yan is different from his way, he likes me, that is, he has no hidden confession, very direct, so that I can completely see what he thinks in his heart.

He gave his whole heart to me without reservation, and I will feel safe with him, just like a weak and boneless girl who needs a big man's shoulders to lean on.

From acquaintance with Xie Yan to the bits and pieces of being together, although they are very speechless, there will be small quarrels, but they will not hurt their feelings, and they will not easily mention very sensitive words such as breaking up.

As the saying goes, quarrel at the head of the bed and at the end of the bed, Xie Yan and I are like this, fate is destined to be a pair of happy enemies, let me regret a little, Xie Yan is not a mortal, although he can accompany himself to the white head, but he will always be the same as when he was young, and he will not change at all.

I'm just worried that when I get gray hair, if I am with him, I will be called mentally ill by others, but Xie Yan doesn't mind this at all.

So love is so wonderful, a person obviously loves another person, but he doesn't say it, then if this continues, the other person may never know.

It's just that this feeling is so tiring that people can't last until the last moment, and they often choose to empathize and fall in love with someone else for one reason or another, but that is not necessarily true love, but a kind of caressing of pain, a kind of calming of pain.

I don't want that feeling, so I want to be with Xie Yan well, when I think of Xie Yan, I don't know what he is doing at home at this time, whether he will cook a few plates of side dishes that he is slightly good at, and wait for him to go back to dinner.

After getting along in love for a long time, lovers often become indifferent to each other, because he knows that love cannot be reciprocated, so it is easy to turn into hate.

This is why I regard Chen Jiaming as a good friend, I don't want him to hate me in the end, I can't even be a friend, but I am a little greedy, I want to rely more on the warmth from Chen Jiaming, his concern for me, and his kindness to me, make me reluctant to leave him.

If the other party is a rational person, then he can reasonably vent this kind of ruthlessness, but if he is an irrational person, then this kind of hatred has nowhere to vent, and in the end, it will easily hurt others and himself, so in the end, it will hurt others and himself.

I don't want to be that kind of person, I just want everyone to be friends, and I pretend to be the one I love the most in my heart, I love Xie Yan, just like Chen Jiaming loves his former favorite.

After thinking about it so much, I took a few deep breaths, wanted to calm down my complicated mood a little, and returned to a bright smile on my face, and then said slowly: "Since you said that there is no such thing here, the cold atmosphere, then okay, I will believe it, let's not talk about this for now, just now you said, you can get me a sum of money, I thank you here in advance." ”

When Chen Jiaming heard this, he was stunned at first, it turned out that he was thinking that I mentioned borrowing money, and he was really alarmed, thinking that I had concerns about money, and he was afraid that the amount I proposed was a bit too much, and he would not lend it to me. Immediately afterwards, he laughed, waved his hand and said, "It's all right, you send your card number, and I will transfer the money directly to you." ”

I didn't say anything more when I heard this, so I nodded, then took out my mobile phone and sent my bank card number to his mobile phone, and then said to Chen Jiaming as if I had thought of something, "I'm really a little curious about how powerful your family is, so that you can't take one million seriously." ”

Chen Jiaming saw that I seemed to be a little curious about his family's affairs, so he smiled and shook his head and said to me: "There is nothing curious about this matter, I take a million seriously, and it is not necessarily a glorious thing, it can only represent the accumulation of the family, the family has such an accumulation, it is natural to stand tall, and it will not take some trivial things under the soles of the feet seriously, but this does not mean that it is glorious. But people can only see their splendor on the surface and not think about the dark places, just like what you just did, pay attention to that, don't take a million things seriously and don't ask me how I got there. ”

Hearing this, I said angrily, "Am I going to ask how you made your fortune?" Then you learn from those people on TV and tell me in an official tone, you have to study hard every day, work hard, and realize your ideals as soon as possible, I'm not so boring, I'm just, I'm just curious, I don't want you to say it, if you don't want to say it, it doesn't matter, you don't have to do Tai Chi with me here. ”

Although he was a little angry in his heart, he was even more surprised, his family could be made to the current scale, and he could not take one million seriously, and he couldn't imagine that his family's strength could be so strong.

Chen Jiaming was not in a hurry to defend when he heard this, but he first laughed and then said to me, "I'm angry, I'm just joking with you, I can't say more about this kind of thing, because after all, you don't know much about this kind of thing in the family, you said that even if I want to tell you in detail, I can't say it clearly, besides, I just borrowed you a million, and in a blink of an eye, you will speak coldly to me, you tell me if you are a little too ungrateful to cross the river and tear down the bridge." ”

He still had a warm smile on his face, like a sunflower, a little cold to my face, I couldn't resist the magic of this smile, to be honest, I really didn't think that his smile was so charming, it could be said that it was healing, and I had to remove the anger in my heart.