- I am close to you again, this time, penniless, and still unflinching.

Chen Qiaoan got off the train and came to the high-speed rail station.

It's not a peak holiday, and it's already night, so there are not many people in the station, and the time deduction is just right, Chen Qiaoan quickly swiped his ID card and entered the station to get on the high-speed rail, and got on the train to H City.

Fortunately, it took almost an hour from S city to H city, and Chen Qiaoan couldn't help but sigh when he was lonely, high-speed rail is really a great invention.

In fact, Chen Qiaoan is no stranger to that city.

Chen Qiaoan stayed there for four full years.

Chen Qiaoan's university is in H City, which is a relatively famous art school in China.

Chen Qiaoan is an art student who changed to art halfway, and then chose to study art, because the admission score of art students will be much lower than that of ordinary college entrance examination candidates. At that time, Chen Qiaoan's cultural achievements were impossible to get into a good university.

At that time, Chen Qiaoan spent a lot of effort and thought in order to be admitted to this school, because he learned art halfway, he had no foundation, and it could even be said that he had no talent. At the most bitter time, 17 hours a day, from 6 o'clock in the morning to 11 o'clock in the evening, I was painting, and the pencil ash of the sketch on my hand was embedded in my nails, and I couldn't wash it off. Therefore, art students are not as beautiful as described in the TV series in the novel, with long hair fluttering, long skirts fluttering, and ten fingers that do not touch the spring water, they are so bad and sloppy that they can not wash their hair or take a bath for several days, they don't even want to wash their hands, they don't want to change their clothes, and when they come back from the studio, they want to lie on the cot in the dormitory and sleep until dawn, and continue to paint the next day. Especially during the time of the joint entrance examination for fine arts, I rushed from one school to another, and then rushed to another school, and I had to carry heavy drawing boards and tools on my back, and the most restful time I slept every day was on the bus.

However, even so, there are many people who envy it, thinking that it is playing, thinking that it is really good, and they can play everywhere, and there are even many unfriendly voices saying, ah, they are all children of rich families. In fact, those people, if they are not gritting their teeth and persisting in order to realize their dreams, the rest are just because they are sensible and realize the importance of learning late, and they do everything that should have been done but did not pay.

For people who can not work hard, but you can't look down on people who work hard, Chen Qiaoan recognizes. What's more, at that time, Chen Qiaoan also understood that everything is reciprocated, enjoyed when you shouldn't be enjoyed, and you always have to pay it back when the time comes, and it may be doubled.

At the end of the joint entrance examination, Chen Qiaoan returned to school like many art students at first, but found that he seemed a little out of place, unable to catch up with the progress and unable to understand the content.

So a week later, Chen Qiaoan simply took a long vacation with the school, one-on-one training and counseling in a professional training institution, and did dozens of sets of mathematics test papers a day, in order to practice the same type of big questions, biochemistry and physics, the same, many times Chen Qiaoan did not understand, and even at the beginning of the chemical equation professional terms could not be written properly, but test-oriented education still has certain advantages, just like this time, the score is obvious, you don't need to understand it in particular, as long as you understand this type of question and can do the question.

For this point, Chen Qiaoan also admits that sometimes being rich is indeed an invisible strength and plus point brought by yourself, at least if Chen Qiaoan's family does not have such economic strength, she can't be so capricious, just like Chen Qiaoan saw a push article on an official account, which was the top student in the college entrance examination of a certain first-tier city interviewed by a reporter, he said that he was born and grew up here, and his family is just middle-class. But it is true that the education and knowledge I have received and my own insight will be more extensive than that of many people in small cities, and I will get more opportunities than many people, and the mistakes I can make will be easier to correct than many people, which is a real loss at the starting line.

So Chen Qiaoan's final results were still very good, and that year was the last year before the new reform of the college entrance examination, so Chen Qiaoan's class was lucky and excellent, because many people said that the college entrance examination was really simple, oh, by the way, I forgot to say that although Chen Qiaoan is from S City, he took the college entrance examination in a third-tier city in Z Province, after all, in those three years, Chen Qiaoan really changed a lot.

This only proves that the environment really affects people, and when your surroundings are out of place with you, you should be afraid of loneliness and choose to blend in with them, make friends with them, and you will naturally make a lot of changes.

Just like when Chen Qiaoan returned to S City later, the people in the previous circle continued their life of drunken gold fans, and when they saw Chen Qiaoan, they would always say, "Qiaoan, what are you trying to do?" ”

Then he began to ridicule, "Dad Chen is really far-sighted, and he is the precedent of the "Transformation Project"!" ”

In the end, I couldn't help but sigh, "Joan, you have really changed a lot." ”

Chen Qiaoan is grateful for those years, and also thanks to all the people who appeared in her life, which can make her better, but many times, Chen Qiaoan will also regret it, if she didn't go to Z Province, would she not have met Cheng Nan, would she not have succeeded, would she continue to be willful and proud, and have no desires.

Because later, none of the people Chen Qiaoan desperately wanted to keep were gone, including Cheng Nan, the person she loved, unforgettable.

Chen Qiaoan, if you really didn't meet Cheng Nan, would you continue to regret it?

Yesterday was the most nostalgic for those who worked hard.

The naïve years, running away, so nostalgic.

The greatest cruelty and preciousness of time is that it is gone, and the greatest stupidity and contradiction of human beings is always contradictory, unable to foresee the future and reluctant to give up the past.

"Cheng Nan, I like you, I like the kind of like I like very much,"

"I know."

The girl in her memory, with a high ponytail, slightly curly, and broken hair on her forehead, dyed with a faint brown chestnut, in the sun, sparkling, dazzling, when she looked at the teenager in front of her, her eyes were shining with stars, her smile was shallow, and she was a little beautiful, because she was the person she liked.

"If you know, why do you deliberately stay away from me like this?" The girl approached him step by step, wanting to enjoy the warmth of this moment with him.

"Because I don't like you,"

He is always like this, even the rejection is faint and gentle.

"Chen Qiaoan, because, I don't like you," perhaps in the face of the girl's repeated pestering, he repeated the words again, and the impatience in his eyes was obvious.

He looked at the girl in front of him, without any pity, categorical, serious and rigorous, "Do you understand?" If you don't hear clearly, then I'll say it again, I don't like you. "It's his usual style.

He had never liked her, she knew.

"Really?" The girl smiled and tilted her head, trying not to look at him, and trying not to look so embarrassed

"It's okay, it's good if I like you, I'll try to make you like me," the hand that was overwhelmed and had nowhere to put betrayed the panic in her heart, but she was still serious and full of confidence, "Really, Cheng Nan, you believe me, you wait for me, I will definitely make you like me." ”

Chen Qiaoan was seventeen years old that year, the first year she met and liked Cheng Nan, and she was a beautiful girl who everyone could see the stars in her eyes.

In the impression of others, Chen Qiaoan is a proud person, never takes the initiative, and is casual, if there is something, if there is not, if there is no, because she gives all the initiative to one person.

In Chen Qiaoan's memory, Cheng Nan was very kind to everyone, very polite, and very gentle, only when facing her, her eyes were full of disgust, and she never understood why he hated her like this.

So much so that later, she was afraid, afraid to get close to him, afraid that he would hate her very much. Because I was afraid, I was careful, and because I was careful, I still lost.

"Chen Qiaoan, long time no see."

That young man, still so beautiful, suddenly appeared in front of her, broke into her sight, imprinted in her mind, engraved into her heart.

"It turned out to be you," the girl tried to hide her inner throbbing and the same panic, pretending to be hypocritical and calm.

The time of a meal, an hour and a half, did not say a word, did not make an expression, did not look at him more.

"Chen Qiaoan, do you still like me?"

This time, instead he called out to her, grabbed her, and asked her, "Do you still like me?" It's obviously a question sentence, but he was so sure by him. He was sure that she still liked him.

"What if you like it, and what if you don't like it?"

It's like being angry, like being coquettish.

He saw through the disbelief in her eyes with a face, and still said in a straightforward, serious and rigorous tone, "If you still like it, let's be together, Chen Qiaoan, be with me,"

"Why?"

"Because you still like me."

It's really simple, because I like it, so together.

She is really useless, she is as much as ever, she likes him and wants to be with him.

That year, Chen Qiaoan was twenty years old, the third year she knew and liked Cheng Nan, and the first year she met and knew Lu Jiayang, a beautiful girl with stars in her eyes.

From the very beginning, Cheng Nan clearly told Chen Qiaoan that he didn't like himself, and from the beginning, Cheng Nan never admitted that he liked himself.

It has always been Chen Qiao'an who is self-inflicted, self-righteous, self-lying, and round one lie after another.

Recalling so many years together, Cheng Nan never told Chen Qiaoan seriously that he loved her, and he didn't even have the least confession, she was always chasing him, stalking, and shameless.

It was she herself who was not ready, who was ready for the sudden approach of the teenager in her heart, who was not ready, who was ready to face the so-called future chaos and reality entanglement, which was the price of growth, but this price was too great, so that Chen Qiaoan lost so many teenagers in her heart, it was she who pretended to be proud, it was she who pretended to be hypocritical, it was she who deliberately tempted, it was she who refused to bow her head, and she refused to admit defeat.

So, she deserves it.

Chen Qiaoan stretched out her left hand, half raised in the air, under the dim light in the carriage, looking at her left hand, very slender, fingers are distinct, very slender, she still remembers, she is a painter, she is a small painter who once held a small art exhibition.

Chen Qiaoan turned his head sideways, looking at his face reflected in the glass of the carriage, in black and white tones, looking at himself in the glass window, it was really strange, and he couldn't find the stars in his eyes anymore.

Chen Qiaoan, over the years, how have you lived like this.

Chen Qiaoan's left hand seemed to have lost all its strength, and it fell from mid-air very dejectedly, throwing it on his leg without making a sound.

When he was about to arrive in H City, Chen Qiaoan seemed to wake up suddenly, sat in his seat, then took out his makeup bag, put on a simple and delicate makeup for himself, and showed a standard smile to himself in the makeup mirror.

Chen Qiaoan, I hope that you, when you see him again, can also maintain such a smile and demeanor, at least don't let him feel that you are not doing well, at least don't panic again, at least don't be seen as flustered and overwhelmed again.

But even so, the knee-jerking action of biting his lip from time to time betrayed Chen Qiaoan's heart.

Chen Qiaoan took out the lipstick again and again to touch up her makeup, and then licked her upper and lower lips again and again.

Joan Chen, what are you afraid of?

Along the way, Chen Qiaoan was inexplicably sure that he would definitely be able to see Cheng Nan, no matter how late it was, he would definitely keep him, at least until the bell rang at twelve o'clock tonight.

Along the way, Chen Qiaoan was thinking, Cheng Nan, my boy, no matter what happens, no matter what the reason is, you must be happy now, you must live well, at least be happy.

Otherwise, you insist on leaving S City, leaving my side, putting aside all past contacts, what are the years of separation from me?