Su Wei is pregnant.

Before I entered the door, I heard a conversation between Su Wei and Teng Zhi outside the door.

"Do you want to tell Sissy about this first?" Su Wei asked.

"Don't let her know yet."

"But my belly is getting bigger, and I can't hide it."

"We don't want this child anymore, there are so many things at home now, won't having another one increase the burden?"

"You mean you don't want him anymore?" Su Wei's tone was aggressive.

Later, the argument fell into heavy thought, and I grabbed the doorknob and closed it softly.

I lay on the bed, looked at the white ceiling above, turned off the light, fell into darkness again, I relived the conversation I had just had, I had a new understanding of my identity, I was a sister.

I don't know whether I am happy or sad, but there is no ripple in my heart, and I have the same attitude as Teng Zhi towards this matter.

One evening, I came back from outside, and everyone was having dinner happily in the dining room.

I didn't see Su Wei's figure, I saw Teng Zhi also sitting there drinking soup, Ah Mao Chang said that Su Wei was in the room and refused to come out.

"Xining, go see your mother." Teng Zhi said while holding the soup bowl.

I ignored Tengzhi.

I ran up to the second floor, and the door was open, but it was dark inside, and the lights weren't on. While I was still wondering if Ah Mao Chang was lying to me, I heard Su Wei's low moan, and she was sobbing. I quickened my pace, and as soon as I entered the room, I saw Su Wei squatting on the floor, her whole body leaning against the edge of the bed. I've never seen Su Wei like this, like losing her soul in the night.

"Mother, what's wrong with you?"

She continued to sob, and when she saw that I kept asking, she quickened her breath, couldn't hide the pain in her heart, and cried like a tearful person.

"My baby is gone." Su Wei said to me intermittently.

I actually knew about it, but I really didn't expect this day to come so quickly, and this decision is still a pity after all.

"What child?" I pretended not to know and asked her.

"I'm pregnant, Sissy, you should be a good sister, but now he's gone." Su Wei grabbed my arm, I watched her swollen eyes rolling with tears, and I leaned her into my arms to comfort her.

"It's all right, Mother." I soothed Su Wei's emotions.

"It's all to blame on that crazy woman!" Su Wei suddenly shouted.

Isn't it like I heard it before? Su Wei should have lost the child, who is the crazy woman? Is it Jinyu?

"Who's the crazy woman? Why blame her? I asked.

"It was the crazy Jinyu who lost my child." As soon as the words fell, Su Wei burst into tears, which was so hard that she kept sobbing.

"How can it be about grandma?" I grabbed her arms with both hands and looked her in the eyes with a serious expression.

The eyes don't deceive people at all, every place reveals people's hearts, and Su Wei's pain can't even be hidden.

It turned out that before this, almost all adults knew that Su Wei was pregnant.

Su Wei's first disappointment came from a man, Teng Zhi. As a father, I didn't have the joy of knowing this message, but I was sad, and there was no room for redemption.

The second disappointment was because of the law, and the law said that the family had enough people and didn't need one more person, and the child couldn't have it.

Teng Zhi is the continuation of the lights in the family, perhaps because Teng Zhi's inheritance conditions are insufficient, and he is afraid that after this child is born, he will be as stupid as me, in his eyes, I am a stupid child.

When Su Wei went down the stairs, Jinyu deliberately passed by her, stretched out a foot and tripped Su Wei down, Su Wei rolled down the long ladder, Teng Zhi sent Su Wei to the hospital, her weak body may have started from this incident.

Su Wei said that she was lying on the ground, without the slightest strength to argue, she could only sit on the cold floor, watching the hot blood flow out of the side of her legs, without any power to refute, she looked at the wicked and smiled, she felt very terrible and lonely.

And Teng Zhi defended his mother instead, saying that she was an old man, don't worry too much, and she originally discussed whether she wanted this child, but now she saved a sum of money and flowed it away.

She has described to me many times that marriage is an extremely tiring thing and told me not to trust men too much.

During this time, she looked tired, and she was much thinner, expressionless in front of me, but she did not shed tears.

Later, I found a book.

The book is very simple, very small, not easy to be found, only a few pieces of white paper stacked together, glue is glued to the edges of each layer of paper, the whole book production process is extremely simple, the first page of the book only writes one sentence: Who can read my life?

Out of curiosity, I didn't know that this was Su Wei's diary, and even if I knew, I couldn't help but open it and look at it, I couldn't wait for everything about Su Wei.

I kept scrolling down.

The second page is full of text, Su Wei's handwriting is not delicate, many crooked fonts make me almost unable to see, after Ah Mao Chang, Mr. Whitebeard and Jin'er taught me calligraphy, now my understanding of fonts is still not shallow.

The contents of the diary on the second page are as follows:

It was the saddest day of my life, my baby was gone. Although some time has passed, I am still immersed in the joy of the past, and I deeply feel that the child has existed in my body and is one with me. I'm sorry, I want to say to you deeply, I'm sorry for not being able to bring you to my mother's side, I really love you and my child.

Seeing this, Su Wei wrote down her more secret emotions in her diary, and Su Wei, who had always just cried her nose, endured it in front of me for a long time.

The contents of the diary on the third page are as follows:

Today I went out for a walk, walking alone to the river, I saw my elderly father riding a bicycle, and asked me if I wanted to sit behind him, suddenly my eyes were red, my father treated me like a treasure in the palm of his hand as before, now I am married, and when I was a child asked me if I wanted to get on the bus, my father's love is like a mountain. As usual, he came to the mushroom pavilion by the river, sat around a group of old people and played chess, and before I knew it, I found that there were too many gray hairs on the top of his head to count, and I sighed again, time flies so fast, I just hope that my father is in good health.

I didn't dare to read the rest anymore.

I closed Su Wei's diary.

Shortly after Teng Zhi left, Su Wei was hospitalized.

The hospital was not bright at all, and the whole atmosphere seemed to be very heavy, the walls on the side were dusty, and even the steel bars in the cement were seen, and the walls were damp and there was a large area of yellowing. The white rest chair placed outside the ward was stained with yellow stains and a little blood that could not be erased.

The windows are old-fashioned glass windows with a long crack, and when you look through the windows, you can see some dilapidated tiled houses, which are said to have been inhabited.

There was a river in the distance, and when I used to pass by this road, I would look up at the wards above, and I would often see men smoking at the stairs above, or some patients coming out to breathe. Now, when I stand on it and look at it, I feel a different mood.

Su Wei has a thing in her throat, it doesn't hurt or itch for more than ten years, so I haven't paid attention to it, with the change of time, this thing is much more obvious, it feels like an egg-sized soft ball moving up and down in the throat, every time someone sees Su Wei, she will be persuaded to go to the hospital for examination, afraid that it is a tumor.

I had an examination before, and the doctor said that it was recommended to remove it, but there was no money for surgery at that time, so I delayed this matter.

Before the day of the throat examination, Su Wei was discharged from the hospital due to kidney stones.

When I got home, I saw a bottle of painkillers open on the table in Su Wei's room, I looked into the bottle, there were a few left, and the medicine box next to it was all turned upside down, and the medicine in the medicine box was spilled.

I walked into the room, Su Wei's clothes fell to the ground, I picked it up, my hands clenched tightly, and I put it my nose to smell it, I missed the smell of my mother very much.

"Ah Maochang, send me to Ziyang Hospital, hurry up." I pointed to a shortcut in front of me.

"I've walked this path before." Ah Mao said.

"I didn't expect you to know, Miss." Mao Chang smiled at me.

"At this time, you still know how to laugh, I'm worried about death." I grabbed Ah Mao's arm in a hurry.

"Don't worry too much, the lord came back after a moment of visiting, said that there was no big problem, and went back to the tavern." Ah Mao Chang comforted me.

"Do you know which hospital bed it is?"

"Number 255."

When I came to the hospital, I chattered 255 in my mouth, and I searched for the first department of surgery and came to the second department of surgery, how could I not find it, and finally saw Su Wei lying on the innermost bed in the first department at the corner of the stairs.

I looked at her thin body lying on the hospital bed, her emaciated and haggard face, she was wearing a hospital gown revealing her bony arms and thighs, and there was such a big difference from the Su Wei I usually saw, my heart trembled, I clenched my fists, tried my best to hold back tears, I even wondered, will she just hold on and leave me, I can't imagine it.

Hearing my footsteps, she slowly turned her head and said, "Sissy, are you here?" ”

"Mother, are you feeling better?" I sat down and took her hand holding the hanging bottle.

Her hands were cold, as cold as the irons on this bed, the yellow skin on her hands showed green tendons, her skin was wrinkled, and the veins that had been inserted into the tube had become thick and swollen.

I gently covered Su Wei's hand with my hands, for fear of losing the needle, so I could only control the tightness and exhale slowly.

I looked at her with a little tear in her eyes, her eyes were bloodshot red, and her lips were chapped and slightly bloodied.

I immediately took out a few cotton swabs from the drawer and dipped them in some water, and gently tapped her lips, and all of a sudden, the cotton swabs were stained red, and the lips were chapped and cracked.

She was so weak, no one came to serve, and the law said that it was okay.

I understand Su Wei's temperament, and I don't allow people to be very concerned about the greetings, as soon as she opens her mouth, her tears are like the lack of embankments in the flood, and the more she talks, the more uncomfortable she becomes. So, when I came to her, I didn't say too much to ask for warmth.

She didn't speak, she looked at me silently.

After a while, she rolled over, but she clutched the sheets in pain, and she exhaled through her mouth to try to relieve the pain, she said: "I used to think that powerlessness is to watch others suffer and not be able to help, but once I am in pain, I am powerless." ”

I held Su Wei and held her shoulders: "Don't move, let me come." ”

"I'm just lying tired and trying to roll over." She tried to support her waist with both hands, but she had to make her movements louder, and there was a flash of lightning pain.

For the first time, I guarded Su Wei's side like an adult.

When I opened the drawer to peel an apple for Suvi, I found that she had brought the diary, and I saw that she was asleep with her eyes closed, and I quietly turned the last page.

The contents of the last page were torn off, and I rummaged through the garbage bag hanging on the cabinet, only to see Su Wei writing at the end:

Divorce is perhaps the best option.