When I opened my eyes, my mind was swollen and I couldn't remember. My eyelids were like weighing several pounds, and I reached out from the quilt to rub my sleepy eyes, and found that my palms were beads of sweat, and I was unconsciously hot.

Looking at the door, Su Wei squinted and fell asleep in front of the table with her head propped up by her hands, it seemed that the servant was indeed derelict in her duty, and the lady was not in the bedroom and no one took the cloak to drape her.

I got up and put my cloak lightly over her back, her sleeping face was a moment of comfort.

Her clothes have not been changed, and the sleeves of her hands are still printed with the ink I accidentally poured when I practiced calligraphy, and it seems that she has not slept all night.

On the first day I was born, I was killed.

When I was sensible for a year, I understood what a heavy responsibility the family gave the male to inherit the incense in this generation.

Born in the Gu family, I don't know what my meaning is, it doesn't seem to have any meaning of existence.

I have two aunts, and the first child born to my aunt is a daughter, named Gu Jin'er, who is also the most beloved granddaughter of my grandfather. My sister-in-law Xinwen has not yet started a family, and my father Teng Zhi is the eldest son of the Gu family, and he is the continuation of the Gu family.

Although I am the grandson of the Gu family and Jin'er is the grandson, the focus of the Gu family seems to be on Jin'er, I have never known Jin'er's life experience, no one cares, even Su Wei does not mention it to me, and I have many doubts about her pure bloodline.

We can't choose the family we are born into, it's like being carried by a dossier and handing it over to someone who can decide your fate. We are a seed, we need to be instilled with thoughts, infiltrated by love, and we have been fighting and chasing for one thing all our lives. Before we have capital, we need to have people who water and breed, and we will learn a lot in the process, and naturally understand the meaning of family inheritance.

Under everyone's expectations, I was a girl, and I instantly felt that my weaknesses were exposed. I have low self-esteem, quiet, and silent character, and even feel ashamed to be a girl.

Xiao Jinding, who did not inherit the Gu family's incense, is still an extremely humble thing for me.

In Ziyang Street, people are discussing whether the lights of the Gu family can continue, and ask Lin Suwei if she has made a baby? Is it a boy or a girl? The Gu family can be regarded as someone who inherits the lamp. Everyone thought it was a boy and came to congratulate them, and when the law was announced to the public that day, they all told them that Su Wei died in the red room and the child was gone.

One passed ten, ten spread hundred, everyone panicked, but no one dared to discuss it again, for fear of being arrested and taken to Banjinghua Courtyard, which was a place where they couldn't get out if they went in.

When I was full of moon, she wanted to hold a "full moon wine" banquet for relatives and friends, and my grandmother Yali prepared silver ornaments as gifts.

"What's the pride of giving birth to a girl?" Ritsu picked up the dragon ball in his hand and spun it, he closed his eyes, one foot hung on the other, and the sour branch wooden chair against his back made a sound of shaking from time to time.

"The eldest grandson Miyue, since the blessing comes, why is it bad?" Su Wei asked rhetorically.

"I want gold." Ryu pushed down the tobacco that was about to be lit, continued to spin the dragon ball in his hand, and swaggered out of the hall door.

Qiu Feng and Xinwen followed the law and walked out of the hall door.

A feudal idea of male superiority and inferiority of women is blocked to the death, like a living dead person who is placed in a coffin, placed until death, and allowed to send out a distress signal hysterically inside. The stale nature of the mind is rotten, and it does take a great mental cleansing to change the taste of a person who is accustomed to eating pickled food.

The only thing that pleases me the most is my name. In this era, a name is a sign of identity, and a good name is the sunrise of fate, my name was chosen by Su Wei for me, Gu Xining, a name that will laugh when I call it.

Su Wei doesn't allow me to have long hair, as long as the bangs cover my eyes a little and the ends of my hair are tugged at the shoulders, I will be cut off with a click of scissors. Mother often said that his hair was scattered, his short hair was energetic, and he was full of vitality, more like a boy. As a daughter, I was subordinated to the boy's torso by many details.

Before marrying into the Gu family, Yali worked in a cement factory, and my uncle Su Sheng was sent to a relative's house to raise, Su Wei followed Yali to feed her with a mouthful of porridge and sweet potatoes every day, and her body was naturally much more delicate.

Teng Zhi is my father, and he is a very strange person. He was a collector, he didn't like to socialize, and he didn't like to drink, but he liked to collect the discarded bottles and cardboard boxes of the tavern, put them on and fold them and pile them up in a small corner of the warehouse, and seal the surface with strips of discarded cloth, which he said were "treasures" and we were not allowed to interfere with him.

Su Wei had been angry several times over these things, and he could say he wanted to save them for a small piece of paper.

It is said that when Jinyu gave birth to a big white fat man, when the moon was full, the law was made to serve people in front of the clan gate to distribute rice, divided into long noodles and red eggs, and the suckling pig set up sacrifices to enjoy the ancestors of the gods, and invited the people with prestige in Ziyang to drink "full moon wine", and under the plaque, shaved the head for the child, also known as "shaving wine".

That night, perhaps invaded by the cold wind, Teng Zhi suddenly had a high fever, Jinyu was reluctant to let the child suffer from the medicinal soup, and said that the doctors were uneasy and kind, she carried Teng Zhi on her back for several days and nights, comforted him, refused to let him down, and applied medicinal oil to his forehead. The child couldn't stand the high fever and jaundice, so he went to see a doctor, who said that it was too late, and this head could be scalded eggs, and his movement and speech may be a little impaired in the future.

When he was one year old, the Gu family collected and displayed the precious things of Ziyang, spread them on the red cloth, and let the children grab them at will, called "grasping Zhou".

At that time, Teng Zhi sat motionless in front of the red cloth, as if he was stupid, people were urging and pending, but he was still indifferent. At this time, Ah Mao accidentally dropped his family letter on the red cloth, and Xiao'er took the letter and tore it to pieces.

Since then, the law has no intention of handing over Teng Zhi's successor, and has given birth to a second child, both of whom are daughters, and just accept their fate.

Whenever Teng Zhi does something inexplicable, maybe he doesn't speak in a bad way, I believe it's the reason.

Jinyu's doting makes everyone close to Tengzhi afraid, she is not allowed to serve others, Tengzhi's dressing, housing and transportation are Jinyu's daily service, and even marrying Su Wei, she feels that it is a kind of intervention.

Listening to Su Wei, Zhilu has an elder brother named Zhitian. He was not so motivated, and his mother preferred to give him the opportunity to study. She said that the law will follow me to herd cattle, and give your brother the opportunity to study, and we can all enjoy happiness in the future.

Later, his father gambled outside the home, owed a large amount of debt, and sold the law to others. The family that the law met didn't have a meal for him. So he swore that he would open a tavern in the future and eat and drink until he vomited.

At the age of 19, he was conscripted into the army, and in the army, he didn't know any words, so he could only practice calligraphy at night, and a thick dictionary was turned into tatters. After being a soldier, he was assigned to a criminal detective, but the words of the case were too complicated, and he had a simple understanding of the text, so he could only apply for transfer. Later, he was assigned to the police station as the director to see juvenile delinquents, and it was ten years at a glance. Unexpectedly, the nephew of the law was wrong to recognize people at that time, and he owed a lot of money to be chased and killed, but the law didn't say a word, pulled out a gun to scare them away, and saved the nephew's life. Because of this incident, he was demoted and transferred to Ziyang, and Jinyu also suffered from madness.

The law has always felt guilty about this matter, blaming himself for being immature and ignorant when he became a father for the first time. In order to cure Tengzhi, he owed a lot of foreign debts in recent years, and the tavern's business was slowly taken care of, and life improved.

Before coming to Ziyang, Su Wei and Teng Zhi had not yet met, and later fell in love with each other through blind dates, and finally had me.

Su Wei is not a big family, and she can't be called a famous family. Because Teng Zhi had a fever when he was a child, he has always had a hard time, so he wants to marry Teng Zhi as soon as possible.

When Su Wei's family came to Gu's house, the warm hospitality of the family made people shudder, not real at all, Su Wei said, it was raining that day, and my skirt was accidentally stained with mud, he didn't say a word and squatted down to wipe it clean for me with wet wipes, and before I really got along, I decided to go with him.

Su Wei talked about the gift money conditions at that time, and the Gu family agreed to them all.

My favorite is Su Wei, I don't have too much love for Tengzhi, my father is just a title for him.

I stared at her with tears in my eyes, my head tangled like a coil of threads, and I knocked on the door to bring breakfast in.

The cloak on Su Wei's shoulders slipped off, and she was awakened by the start.

When she saw me open her eyes and look at her, she stepped forward and pressed her forehead against mine to test the temperature.

"It's still a little hot."

"Jasmine, come in with a plate of cold water." She commanded to serve.

She wiped my sweat with a wet towel and used a fan to keep me warm.

"I am very aggrieved, starting from marrying into the Gu family." The moment she spoke, I felt like I had been pressed the pause button, and I had a lot of doubts, but I didn't dare to speak.

"Before I decided to marry Teng Zhi, I didn't have confidence in this person, in fact, I didn't feel that deep love for me from him, after all, he is a man who has to hesitate to invite you to a bowl of sugar water for a long time." She said this as if she was disappointed.

She put down the fan and continued: "He chased me very diligently, and every day he would order someone to drive to my house downstairs to pick me up, the horn could be heard from the end of the alley, and many people cast envious eyes at me, I was not greedy for this show-off capital, but the feeling at that time was really real." ”

However, my grandmother would always say with a disgusted look: "Teng Zhi is here again, for fear that others will not know that he is coming." Su Wei was shy.

So I began to imagine the scene at that time, how could this simple man be so romantic, and I laughed when I thought about it.

"I like a diligent man, even with his childishness." At this time, Su Wei looked at me and picked up the fan to fan me.

"You adults are really contradictory, one moment you say you are wronged, and the other time you say you like it." I sighed.

Su Wei put down the fan and said, "You are still young, and you don't understand many things."

In fact, every time she tells a story or even a sentence, you can see that she is tired.

Su Wei said that when she was pregnant with me, it was the hardest. She was short, as thin as a piece of paper, and her belly bulged to make people think she was carrying a huge baby inside. That's right, I was born with six pounds and eight taels, and I can be regarded as a fat girl.

"When you are about to be born, no one knows despair better than me, I am like a production machine of the Gu family." Su Wei began to slap the fan, her eyes widened, and she used her hands and feet together, demonstrating the scene at that time, as if she was singing to the climax, and she used her crying to show weakness, and I was very scared at that time.

I interrupted her. "Why?"

Su Wei laughed, "When I was about to give birth, Teng Zhi didn't know what he was doing in the tavern, so I asked me to find a servant." ”

Before the midwife arrived, Su Wei almost fainted. I can't imagine that she could write to her grandmother even though she could endure the fetal movements, and the first person who watched me come out of Su Wei's body was my grandmother. At that time, there were a lot of people who gave birth on the same day, and my grandmother, as the midwife's assistant, held me in her hand and helped me cut the umbilical cord and wrap my first clothes tightly.

"When I gave birth to you, my waist was like I was slashed dozens of times." She repeated the feeling.

I was horrified to be so convinced of the feeling.

Imagine the scene of a baby coming out of a small hole in its mother's body, the pain of tearing or something that only a mother can experience.

I hugged Su Wei, and Su Wei hugged me tightly, she continued.

"When grandpa knew that you were not a boy, even when I was confined, he didn't cook a bowl of soup for me to drink, let alone fish soup, and even ginger tea, but when Qiu Fengsheng Jin was a child, he worked hard day and night." Su Wei said.

"Don't talk about it." I subconsciously wiped away her tears, and she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"Don't do such stupid things in the future, this matter won't reach your grandfather's ears, rest assured." Su Wei said in a light tone.