It is said that God wants a man to perish, and he must first make him crazy; In fact, if God wants someone to be crazy, he must first keep him close to destruction.

- Wang Nai

"Actually, I meant to let you come." Ma Jiaju took a sharp puff of cigarette, spit it out and inhaled it, and then slowly exhaled it again, forming a smoke ring, floating diagonally in the air, getting bigger and lighter. "Peng Peng told me the so-called story he talked to you, which he knew, but in fact, there were more things he didn't know, they were all hidden here." As he spoke, Ma Jiaju pointed to his head with his left hand, "I also want to tell you about it." ”

"I'd love to be your listener."

"Peng Peng, go and see if the nurses at the nurse station are there, and ask them if the anti-inflammatory drugs this morning can be lost later." The old horse broke the pony apart, and he must have something to say to me.

"Didn't Peng Peng tell you much about his mother?" Seeing Ma Hualong leave, the old horse asked me secretly.

"Well, very little."

"Old." The old horse sighed deeply.

"What, old? How old is my sister-in-law? ”

"Suicide."

"Self, suicide." I was a little overly frightened.

Peng Peng never knew. That was two years ago. The old horse whispered to me as he looked at the door.

"Three years ago, my left leg was ruined in a car accident and I can't drive anymore. The burden on the family has increased suddenly, and it is not easy for Peng Peng to go to high school, so he can't be delayed because of this, so the burden falls on Peng Peng's.

A rural woman with only a junior high school education has little education, so she can only learn to be a confinement lady from others to earn some money to support her family. If you keep working, you should be able to earn some money in a year, but life often backfires. Later, I was a confinement lady in someone else's house, and I came back not long after. I was very strange, it usually takes more than half a year, and at least three or five months, but that time I came back in less than a month. When I asked her, she didn't say. One day he left and drank the medicine that exterminates rats at home. ”

"Why is it so ......, how can God just not open his eyes and see everything in your house?" I couldn't help but cry out about what happened to their family.

"I haven't told Peng Peng the truth about this, so I told him that he was sick and left. I was afraid that if I told him the truth, he would be more uncomfortable and affect his studies even more. The old horse wet the cigarette butt with a water cup and threw it into the garbage basket.

"Do you know how much Peng Peng's study cost for a year at that time?"

"Twenty thousand yuan shouldn't be needed, right?" As a teacher, I think that ordinary students will spend this money, but I forgot that Ma Hualong went to high school as a high-priced student.

"Twenty thousand? 20,000 yuan is only half of his enrollment fee, and the enrollment fee alone is more than 40,000 yuan, plus the tuition and living expenses of each academic year and miscellaneous expenses, about 60,000 yuan a year. "The old horse is very clear.

"So much!" I just knew there were high prices, I didn't expect there to be so many.

"This money is not injured in my leg, and I can still afford it in the first few years of running a big truck, although it is not easy, but it is not very reluctant. But my left leg was injured, and Lao Hei's death made me very painful, and I didn't want to run anymore. The family's living income was cut off all of a sudden. ”

"No matter how difficult the days are, we have to look forward."

"yes, that's what I thought at the time." "But who would have thought that his mother had sprinkled a handful of salty salt on my wounds. ”

"It's really not easy, it's so hard for you." I thought to myself: People say that God wants a man to perish, and he must first make him crazy; In fact, if God wants someone to be crazy, he must first keep him close to destruction.

"I couldn't drive a big car because I injured my leg, so I could only sell the big goods at home, because it was an accident car, and no one was willing to pay a high price, and the original price of more than 300,000 yuan was finally sold by me to another big car in the same village at a price of 150,000 yuan. Later, he used the money from the sale of the car to buy a Santana and ran a black taxi. ”

"It's not easy to open a rental, and it shouldn't be even more difficult to rent a black taxi, right?"

"If I hadn't hurt my leg, I wouldn't have been able to do this."

"It's going to be a tough process."

"The most annoying thing is the various inspections and fines." Lao Ma gritted his teeth, "So I have to fight guerrillas every day, not only to guard against the traffic police, but also to take care of the taxi driver, and even sometimes pay attention to my peers." I don't know when I'll teach you a lesson. ”

"Is there a lot of fine?"

"Let's not talk about it much, the 'fine' doesn't work at all, why I ran the black car, there is a reason for the designation, no one asks your reason, and no one cares about your life or death, just a fine on the surface, it can't solve the problem. The pressure on the child's tuition fees is so great, and changing someone in this situation will also make him have to take risks. I wasn't penalized, of course I was lucky; was fined, and could only take more work and drive more cars. ”

"Actually, sometimes I really admire you. You are like Santiago, the protagonist of Hemingway's novel The Old Man and the Sea. ”

"What's left?"

"Santiago. He was an old fisherman who famously said, 'You can beat me, but you can't beat me.' ’”

"You really said this to my heart, I used to feel like I was very cowardly, and I lived a very bad life, but then I gradually realized that I can't live like this anymore, and I will never admit defeat, so I became a little crazy. That's right, it's crazy. ’”

"Your son also told me about this word, didn't people say, 'If we don't go crazy, we'll be old.'" I deliberately pronounced the words "crazy" and "old" more heavily.

"So, are you ready to hear my story? I'll tell you the story of my madness. ”