When I got home, Principal Jiang followed.

He advised me to think twice before I act, and not to go to the Education Bureau, which will have a bad impact.

Seeing his pitiful appearance, I didn't let go, but I couldn't bear it in my heart, did I want that little respect?

Actually, even if he doesn't come, I won't go to the city education bureau because there is an unwritten strict rule in the bureau.

If any school is found to have problems such as fraud and black-box operation in the job evaluation work, all the qualifications of all the personnel declared by the school in that year will be cancelled! Can I put aside the interests of the teachers who have passed the vocational evaluation for the sake of personal interests and for the sake of venting the blocks in my heart?!

Seeing that I knew that there were tigers in the mountains and favored the tigers, President Jiang could only throw out the words "you think twice before acting" again, and then left me with an indifferent back.

The son said in the river: The deceased is like a husband.

November is really like the Yangtze River rolling eastward, and December has arrived in a blink of an eye.

One cold morning when the wind was howling, the old father came from his hometown forty miles away.

He climbed up to the third floor and stood at the door of his office.

I hurriedly put down the pen in my hand and trotted over to my father.

Maybe people's aging is only overnight, or even instantaneous, otherwise, why is the body that was still strong and burly yesterday so sluggish and tired only when we meet again?

With full of guilt, I really want to pounce on my father and cry a few times to relieve my bitter feelings. More reason, however, caused my arms to fall again. I only felt that the sun was so bright and dazzling, and it made my eyes sore and painful.

Just in winter, my father wore a blue tweed tunic, and his wet white hair was close to his forehead because he was rushing to the early train.

Maybe it's because he climbed the third floor, he kept panting against the door frame, and a bag was on the ground. I picked up my bag, which weighed about four pounds, and went downstairs with my father to the dormitory.

On the way, my father looked at me, his face full of wrinkles, and his eyes were as gentle as the early winter sun overhead: "If you don't go back for such a long time, I'm really afraid that something will happen to you." Now I'm relieved. ”

My father's words made me feel bad for a while.

Growing up, I gave my father no comfort, only sadness. The most painful one was to almost knock down his father, who had reached the age of the sixtieth with a plow and rake on his shoulder. It was the summer of '85, and I was admitted to Beijing Normal University, and I insisted on working and not going to school.

My father knew that I could not be changed by any strength, and although he did not say anything in the moment of despair, the back of my mother's portrait had already told me that his sorrow and pain were heartbreaking, as if the meaning of life had been completely dissolved by the thought of me.

My father longed for me to go to college, and even more so for me to go to a major university, which was my mother's only wish for me.

After many days of silence for my father, I staggered onto the train heading north, and vowed in my heart that I would study hard and mix up my personality in order to comfort my father.

The days of college slipped by so quickly, working, getting married, having children.

I worked as hard as my father did when he was younger. Despite a string of accolades, published papers, and edited books, all at the cost of leaving his father in his hometown. I was only tempted by the education career I loved, and I only jumped around in the trough of excitement and fame.

I could not find the slightest reason to comfort my father, let alone find a cure to reduce his growing failure. This is my eternal apology.

I opened the door and my father walked into the house. He took the bag in my hand, took out a bottle of fish jelly made by himself, and shivered and took out a large piece of fresh pork, put it on the table, and looked at me all the way to the bottom of my heart: "You always eat plain, and you haven't eaten breakfast." Come, try your favorite fish jelly, not salty. ”

I acted greedily and ate a few bites. I tasted the bitterness, chewed out the astringency, and ate it into my mouth as if it was my father's love and obsession, hardship and hard work, hardship and struggle.

In the exaggerated swallowing, I tried my best to hold back the tears that almost welled up in my eyes, and let them flow into my heart and into my life later with the rapid spread of strong family affection. At that moment, the only thing I wanted to do was to fulfill my father's every wish, as compensation for the past and comfort for the future.

However, I know so well that this may forever only be an unforgettable regret for the rest of my life.

After lunch, my father was leaving. Before leaving, he told me that he was the only one who had retired with him, and that he was often dizzy and panting now, and it was inconvenient to urinate, and he couldn't pee when he stood up, and his pants would flow out wet when he lay down.

Finally, my father took care of me and said, "The day of my departure is not far off." I have more than 2,000 money in hand, plus the funeral expenses from the unit, you brothers can prepare some more, it is enough. Plan ahead. ”

In the crystal tears, the shuttle carrying his father went away.

Father, my dear Father!

On the way back to the dormitory, my heart was surging, and my father's stumbling back was always shaking in front of me, and my father's desolate voice echoed.

Passing through the office building, I found a small blackboard at the top of the staircase with a striking red paper posted on it.

What is it? I went up to take a look, and it turned out to be an announcement. It is to the effect that after the inspection of the party branch of Luhuadang Middle School, Comrade Yuan Shaocai was approved as a probationary party member, and if you have any opinions, please reflect them to the party branch of the school within a week.

Looking at this red good news, I feel that it is simply a satirical sketch that is being staged.

I glanced at the red tidings, then turned and walked away quickly.

I felt sad, I felt ridiculous, and I felt irrepressible anger.

Since childhood, the Communist Party has been a holy god in my heart, a beautiful legend.

I wrote an application for joining the party in college, and after I worked, I wrote another application for joining the party, which was eight pages.

I believe in the party so much, love the party so much, and hope to become a member of it.

But now, I worked hard and worked hard, but when I was about to realize my ideals, I was instantly smashed to pieces like Austrian glass, and my heart and lungs hurt.

It was as if my life had been shaken violently by a sudden earthquake. I began to doubt my beliefs, and I began to re-examine my pursuits. Lying quietly on the couch at home, I have never thought about life so calmly, so deeply and so painfully as I do today.

After the Spring Festival, my father-in-law called, and he said that Feixia came back from the United States on March 6 and asked me to go to Shanghai Hongqiao Airport with Feixia's sister to pick her up. At that time, I wondered, why did she come back early? Isn't it three years? There must be some reason.

I still remember that I mailed her ginseng tablets and some essential medicines a few years ago, and I didn't expect to go home so soon!

On the way to Shanghai, I asked Feixia's sister, "Why did your sister return to China in a few months?" ”

Sister Feixia asked me with a wicked smile: "Brother-in-law, don't you want her to come back, are you worried that she will affect you in any good things?" ”