The trial was held at the end of October.

I didn't feel the slightest relief, let alone the slightest bit of happiness.

I just calmly stood in front of the judge, standing in front of the law of **. I didn't tell my lawyer about the time of the trial, but looking at the lawyer standing with my wife, a sense of sadness, a sense of humor rose from the bottom of my heart:

What was once desired, now tried to avoid, and what was tried to avoid, is now painstakingly managed.

Son, Dad will give you a complete love, a perfect sky, so that you can grow up happily and healthily! Father, son can't let you suffer anymore, can't let you worry about me anymore! For you, no matter how hard it is, I can bear it! From you, from your wordless love, I have drawn infinite wisdom and strength!

President Wang's tone and expression were worried about me.

Of course, the divorce that was originally planned in the secret room is now getting more and more out of the way, can he not be in a hurry? How could he understand that I didn't want a divorce at all now!

A scornful smile appeared on my cheek—

The law, this is the divine law! You are worshipped and betrayed, you are painted, sculpted, interpreted, misunderstood!

You bring hope and disappointment to others, you bring resentment, you answer everything, you sympathize with everything, and you understand everything!

You have retained the form of life, but have you lost the value of life?

As I walked out the courtroom door, I let out a long sigh of relief.

It's as if you've finally been lying down at a successful destination after a long journey, and you're relaxed and comfortable coming out of every pore of your body.

I looked up at the blue sky, which was more crystal clear and the white clouds more charming. Looking into the distance, I inadvertently saw Miss Minghua standing under the tall cedar.

I ran over and asked with a smile, "Sister, are you here to help me?" Why don't you bring your brother and eldest sister together to form a support group? ”

The young lady didn't smile, and was gentle with a little concern: "Mingxi, how is it, has the court sentenced it?" The result? ”

"It's a verdict," I put away my smile and told the young lady calmly, "My relationship with Feixia remains the same. ”

Seeing the young lady's puzzled face, I explained: "I don't want to get divorced, I should give my children a complete home, and I should let my father stop worrying about me." ”

The suspicion on the young lady's face disappeared, and the tense muscles relaxed, and finally a pleasant smile appeared.

She turned to me and said, "I'll go back and tell my dad that he can sleep soundly." ”

Staring at the back of the young lady who disappeared from view in an instant, my stone that was lifted in mid-air finally landed smoothly on the ground.

Back at the hotel, the kind proprietress called me aside and told me that Feixia had passed the test of the Binjiang Labor Company in the previous stage and would be going to work in the United States next month.

All of a sudden, I seemed to freeze, as if I had lost my mind.

However, in an instant, I quickly brushed my head with my hand to hide my surprise and calm my excited heart.

A faint smile was put back on my face, and I said calmly, "Thank you for telling me." Today I moved back in. ”

While I was sorting out my clothes, I was also sorting out some chaotic thoughts.

Why did Feixia fly across the ocean and cross east to the United States? Is she running away from something? Didn't she file for divorce? Isn't that what she's for? So what is she really for? Is it another way to express that you care about me?

Thinking of this, my heart suddenly hurts.

It's better not to care about me, I don't like her at all, to put it bluntly, I don't love her at all.

Then why did you marry her? Is it to fulfill an old father's wish? Is it to lighten the burden of the old father?

Or do you think of her as a substitute for Xu Konglan, or even a tool for inheritance? Are these fair to her? Is it fair to me? Why should my pain be transferred to Feixia? What right do I have to deprive her of her love, to bind her to a dispensable position, to a position that looks good to outsiders?

I folded the last piece of clothing, and I suddenly thought of my son Tianyun.

I cruelly left my beloved son aside, selfishly went to the divorce, and said that it was for my son's happiness, but in fact, it was for myself.

How can a broken family be happy!

Now that you have made your choice, it is time to endure it for the rest of your life across the differences in personality and interests.

In fact, it is only now that I understand that all the endings have been written when I was chosen, and all the tears have started from that time, but that beautiful spring is like a book that is too hasty, gradually disappearing into the fog after sunset.

The key pressed into the keyhole and I opened the door.

When my son saw me, he threw himself into my arms excitedly: "Daddy, Daddy! Mom, Daddy is back! ”

I hugged my son and pricked his white and delicate face with stubble, and a feeling of happiness and guilt flowed from the moment I was in close contact with my son to every corner of my body.

My son raised his blushing little face and asked me in a milky voice, "Dad, are you leaving?" ”

I rubbed the child's lovely face with my face and said softly, "No, really no." If you go again, let Tianyun punish Dad. ”

My youngest son slipped out of my arms and trotted into the room, a happy voice beating every cell in my body: "Mommy, Mommy, Daddy is not leaving!" Daddy isn't leaving! ”

Walking into the room, I put down my bag and glanced at Feixia quickly, and I noticed that her face had almost lost weight. We didn't speak, just looked at each other a few times. When I stepped out of the room, I found that there was a thick barrier between me and Feixia, and I couldn't get through it, or I couldn't get through it.

Can't I smash the thick barrier? I realized I couldn't.

Because relying only on understanding and sympathy is tantamount to a drop in the bucket.

I know that my feelings for Feixia are just sympathy, just pity and some understanding, and how can sympathy, pity and understanding transcend the barrier between us? Maybe she and I are destined to be in pain for the rest of our lives.

In the evening, when faced with the meal prepared by my wife, I habitually wash my hands again and change my face to a calm expression, and chew carefully.

Lying in bed, I hugged my wife without the slightest passion and asked softly, "When will I go to the United States?" For how long? ”

The wife replied softly: "The first of next month, three years." ”

She tightened me tighter, and I could feel her breathing more and more urgently.

I didn't make any further moves, just held her in my generous arms. Her hands began to swim, but I was still as passionate as I had been years ago.

I'm sad, I'm ashamed, I'm sorry, I'm blamed myself.

It's just that my enthusiasm has long been extinguished, and it has long since fallen and buried with the colorful cherry blossoms, and it has long been with her complaints, her meanness, and her accusations have disappeared together.

My wife turned over in disappointment, and this time she didn't ask me to go to the doctor.

After a long time, she fell asleep, and I kept my eyes open and stared at the ceiling in the faint light.

It was raining outside the window, and every drop of it hurt my heart. Everyone has normal physiological needs, and Feixia is no exception.

Just let her live with a name for the rest of her life? Would she like to? She asked to see a doctor because of her desire for this physical need. In fact, I know what kind of doctor to see, and I also have a strong need, but in the face of her, I became a mummy, with withered emotions and withered passions.

As soon as I thought of this, Xu Konglan's smiling face somehow floated in my mind again, and behind the smiling face, there were cherry blossoms flying all over the sky and falling one after another, but this time there was a picture of lingering with her in my dream.

Just thinking about it, I felt like I was standing in the clouds, like a dream, like a fascination.

Soon, sleepiness swept in from afar like snow waves, and when it was almost dawn, I fell asleep.

In the blink of an eye, November 1st is here.

My wife and sister and I took her to Shanghai Hongqiao Airport.

On that day, the sky was covered with thick clouds, and there was no sun, just like our mood.

On the way to Shanghai, the car driver was always playing the song "I Really Miss You", and Zhou Bingqian sang like a cry, and every word was dripping with full thoughts and fiery feelings.

Perhaps the girls were moved by this song, and they all hid smiles on their faces, and they all painted gray oil paint. I was immersed in the melody of sadness, and my heart became heavy, I don't know if it was for Feixia, or for myself, or for Xu Konglan who was far away in Japan.

In a trance, cherry blossoms flew in front of my eyes, I became Zhou Bingqian, the song "I really miss you" hovering in my ears turned into "Asking Love" for some reason, and the car I sat in became a temporary small stage for the reunion of Xu Konglan's family in Beijing, I was holding a wireless microphone, and performed "Asking Love" affectionately on the stage:

The spring breeze is gentle, and the flowers are abundant. The long road is long, and the song is searching.

Looking back at your youth, the past is like a cloud of smoke, and when the flowers fall, you will be left behind.

I intercede, I intercede, I wake up alone in the falling flowers, and this love is exchanged for a lifetime of hatred.

I intercede, I intercede, only by walking with you, walking with you, can we pursue our dreams.

……

However, the lyrics of "Asking for Love" in my mind have strangely become "I Really Miss You" constantly whirling:

I miss you so much, I call for dawn in the night,

The clouds chasing the moon also know my heart,

Silently send me warmth.

I miss you so much, I call for dawn in the night,

The stars of heaven know my heart,

I only have you in my heart.

How can thousands of mountains and rivers separate my love for you,

Below the moon floats gently a piece of my love,

……

On the eve of Feixia's flight, I took out the remaining 500 yuan from the kiosk in the airport waiting hall and bought her a dark red and black checkered wool jacket and a few pieces of soap. Because I know that she has little money left, and she needs money for everything in the United States, and I can think of anything I can to help her think of it.

We didn't leave the lounge until the car she was pushing the suitcase turned the corner and we couldn't see it anymore.

After filling our bellies, Feixia's sister and I drove back to Luhuadang.