A person's cultivation depends on the kindness when he is frustrated

Last winter, I came out of the gym and found that I forgot to bring my phone, so I went back to the office to pick it up.

As soon as I walked to the door of the office, I heard a sharp female voice reprimanding someone.

I looked for the sound and saw that the little brother who delivered the food was apologizing again and again with a frustrated face, holding a plastic lunch box with soup in his hand, which had been spilled, and the soup was still dripping down his gloves, and the female voice was still unrelenting:

"I don't care, I don't want this anyway, I want to complain to you, I can't deliver a takeaway, what else can you do"

Ignoring the helpless smile on the takeaway brother's face, she turned around and walked inside, and happened to collide with me who was about to watch the excitement.

She is a newcomer who has not been in the company for a long time, and she usually looks like a gentle and gentle little white rabbit, and she was embarrassed when she saw me break the situation, and hurriedly explained to me:

"The takeout I ordered at six o'clock was delivered at half past seven at the moment, and I just wanted to drink a mouthful of soup, and I spilled so much, and the juice on the bag was so disgusting."

Seeing that I was smiling and silent, she said again: "I'm really unlucky today, I was hit by the boss when I was late in the morning, and I made a half-ppt just in time for the blue screen of the computer. ”

"Sister, you know, I'm not usually like this."

She stole a glance at me and added.

I know a boy, he has always been a good gentleman in the circle of friends, I have known him for more than two years, I have repeatedly gathered for dinner, and there are many outrageous jokes during the banquet, but I have never seen him blushing and rolling his face with anyone, which can be called a model of good temper and good cultivation.

Until a dinner, he confessed to his favorite girl in front of everyone, was rejected, and immediately got up to say goodbye.

I happened to be chatting with another friend outside, and when I saw him coming out of the garage, I honked my horn impatiently, and the garage keeper was a little slower, so he poked his head out of the window and cursed.

It was raining that day, and there was a lot of water on the side of the road, but he still accelerated regardless of it, and walked past a schoolboy with a school bag on his back, splashing the child with muddy water.

The two of us watched the whole process and were dumbfounded.

He will take the initiative to pick up cigarette butts and throw them into the trash can when he walks on the road, and he is the one who can always smile even when talking to the stubborn uncle and aunt behind his ears, and he doesn't forget to say thank you even when the waiter comes to collect the dishes and chopsticks.

This night, it was like a different person.

When life goes smoothly, who wouldn't play a good person, whether it's deliberately disguising themselves to be gentle and perfect, or because of the idea of icing on the cake, giving roses to others, we are happy to dress up a kind and tolerant appearance.

But the most test of human nature is not in these smooth moments, but to see how a person's kindness will be placed when he is frustrated.

I like that clip in "A Dream of Red Mansions" very much, Daiyu and Baoyu quarreled, angry, and did not forget to tell the maid Zijuan: "Look at the big swallow coming back, put down the curtain again, and take the stone lion to lean on." ”

The girl, who is usually a little scathing, small-minded and merciless in her speech, can still remember to wait for the swallow to return before lowering the curtain when she is so angry that she "cried for a long time".

There is a term in psychology called the "kicking cat effect", which refers to the typical contagion of bad emotions, from the high status to the low status, from the strong to the weak, and the weakest who have nowhere to vent become the ultimate victims.

And when you are frustrated, you can not despise people or things that are weaker than yourself, do not take others to be angry, and still retain a trace of compassion and self-control in the surging emotions, which is kindness.

I have a friend who does a public account, and one day suddenly sent a message in the official account, to the effect that I have some things to deal with, so I have to stop for a while, and it took more than half a year for her to appear, updating a travel diary, I asked casually, have you been in retreat for half a year, and have you gone to visit the great rivers and mountains

No, she smiled and said, "It was the last time I went to Hangzhou to look at the house, and I walked around by the way." ”

"You're moving away," I asked.

Yes, she said: "My boyfriend is gone, my job is gone, and my three-year savings are back before liberation overnight."

Maybe this is a good time to start over, and I just happened to find a good company in Hangzhou, so I thought about moving to live for a while. ”

She said it lightly, but I was terrified to hear it, her boyfriend split her legs, and invited her to join the shares in the name of opening a company, but even the money evaporated overnight, and even took away tens of thousands of public funds in her safe, causing her to be fired from the company, and she couldn't even pay the rent for the month, and lived in the basement for more than three months.

I can't imagine how a girl who lives alone in a foreign country survives these days, and as a friend, I didn't know it, I was a little guilty and wrapped a red envelope for her on WeChat, she didn't click on it, and replied to me, saying: "It's all over." ”

God understands, I admire her calm and self-controlled, people often have their own attributes of magnifying suffering, a little unsatisfactory in life, can be exaggerated as a natural and man-made disaster, so that the whole world understands its own difficulties, so as to rationalize the self's collapse or hysteria, eager to let the world grieve, thus exaggerating self-frustration.

But she is not, she has an iron cage in her heart, and she puts all those sorrows and sufferings into it, not letting them run around a step, nor magnifying them in the slightest.

I wrote a story about breaking up with a girlfriend before, after she fell out of love, she was depressed for half a year, and chatting with me every day was nothing more than scolding the scumbag with tears, all kinds of wine and spilling, as long as I persuaded her a little, or the sadness of her expression was slightly uncooperative, she would immediately complain with tears in her eyes: "You don't help me anyway." ”

This lasted until the eighth month, when I blocked her.

I've never been proud to leave her alone in the frustrated lowlands, but if I had to choose again, I wouldn't hesitate to make that choice.

Our life has never been free to twists and turns, and it is kindness not to be emotional, not to drag the people around us into the water, and not to force empathy.

Each of us has more or less fallen into the trough of life, wanting to scream, scolding, smashing things, and pulling the world to cry with us, all of which are human nature.

And when we talk about self-cultivation a lot, it's never a big word for window dressing.

It is not a hand-out charity when the spring breeze is proud, nor is it a call for friends to enjoy when life is smooth.

It's not about sitting in a café in a Burberry suit and elegantly saying thank you to the waiter, it's about whether or not you're going to kick the cat next door when you're destitute and angry.

It is difficult to be proud and not arrogant, but it is even more difficult to be frustrated without anger.

Know how to exercise restraint when you can vent at will, and stick to kindness when evil thoughts flash.

It is for a very good cultivation.

You must always believe that there will be sweet love waiting for you in this world, and no matter who hurts you, it is not enough to ruin your happy future. I used to be heartbroken, and I was desperate for the world, and now I meet the right person, we will be married next month, maybe not so dead and alive in love, but we cherish and love each other. Love doesn't have to be vigorous, it can also be a long stream. May good people meet worthy people

Fish are like women, there are many people, but they just play with them, and when they have had enough, they are released. But some people will be treasures, (also send a circle of friends to show off, you look at your circle of friends, the more you lack something, the more you send something), but the brother as a bystander can generally see whether it is suitable (the authorities are fans), but they can only remind in kindness, but they can't listen to it, they can't catch it, and the brother will come to help you, in the end, it takes time, energy and money, and the brother is gone, and he is fishy, and he can't forget it~

Rather than cold violence, I prefer two people to sit down generously and have a good talk about having a casual meal At that time, I will respect you three points and be honest

I will pay attention to your words and deeds and take care of your feelings. But you still feel lost, because you don't care about me.

Cuteness is worthless in the face of sexiness, sensuality is worthless in the face of cleanliness, cleanness is worthless in the face of money, and worthlessness in the face of money in the face of death