I jerked, and the soft stalk was bent in my hand.

I turned my head, and Loze's smiling eyes were looking at me, his face slightly pale, and his silver-white hair lying limply on his forehead. It's kind of like the male protagonist of the Japanese manga I read when I was younger.

"Take a suck and relieve a thousand sorrows." I replied. At that moment, I admired myself, my tone was relaxed, ecological and self-controlled, and my psychological quality was excellent.

Lozee narrowed his eyes, walked over, and leaned in with his back to the window.

Actually, my mind is very messy. What's next? I really don't want to discuss these heavy issues with Loze.

"I'm not going back with you. If you insist on taking me back, I'll hide again. Lozee spoke calmly and with absolute certainty in the most relaxed and languid tone.

I nodded, still not recovering from my mental confusion.

"I'll go back first, I'll go back to the apartment after the treatment, I'll wait for you," I don't know what my tone was at that time, I just knew that I was extremely tired at that time, and I just wanted to go back and get a good night's sleep.

Lozer turned away to make way for me, and I walked out of the hospital with my tiredness.

When I got home, I fell on my head and fell on the bed, and when I encountered a headache that I couldn't solve since I was a child, I usually chose to sleep.

This time I couldn't sleep, despite the tired eyelids fighting. The words He Xiao said were looped in a single song, and they came to my mind over and over again. I got up, went to the kitchen and grabbed the wine I had bought last time, poured a glass, and drank it all.

After drinking, I felt a slight heat on my body, and the faint aroma of red wine around me invaded my senses.

"Loan." With the drunkenness and the remnants of my sanity, I got through to Loan's phone.

Luo An's familiar voice rang on the other end of the phone.

For the first time in my life, I was so thoughtful, intermittent, and without logic, that I wanted to make a nonsensical tirade in front of others, but fortunately, after Luo An was silent for 10 minutes, she used her strong understanding and generalization ability to help me summarize.

"All in all, you mean that you won't take Loze back, and that we'd better not interfere with Loze's life in the future?"

That's what it means, but it sounds ridiculous. Who would leave their children alone?

Just when I was thinking that Lozer would have a debate with me on the theme of "education of love", Loan said yes in a slightly crying voice.

For the first time, Lozer cried in front of me. I couldn't help it, snorted violently, and began to cry intermittently. Then we cried at the cold screen of our phones for half an hour.

Feeling distressed mixed with guilt, the emotions that I had been holding back in my heart were released, and I began to think rationally.

"I plan to focus my work on the next few years back in China. Luo Ze is still willing to see me, and I think I should accompany him for the next few years, at least to cure his illness. "It's the most reassuring thing I can think of right now.

Loan also agreed, and she would try to do her mother's mental work.

We're all waiting for Lozee to grow up.

Then I wrote an email to my mentor and asked her to help me with some handovers.

"It's not bad to work in China and accumulate some experience, after all, you still plan to return to China for development in the future." The mentor said on the other end of the phone.

I thanked and hung up the phone, feeling relieved, at least I had chosen a solution for myself, and it was better to have a clear purpose and direction than to toss and turn between hesitation and guilt.

After a little relief, I fell into a deep sleep.

When he woke up in the living room, Loze was sitting cross-legged on the couch watching TV and eating crushed ice. Seeing that I was awake, he broke half of the broken ice in his hand and handed it to me.

Cola-flavored.

When he was a child, he only ate this flavor, and the weather in late spring was still cool, and the cold air from the popsicles seemed slightly unfriendly at this time.

But I took it anyway.

"When are you going to come home?" A lazy voice came.

"Not back." I squeezed a piece of crushed ice up with my hand, and I leaned in and licked it.

Loze's hands trembled, and the half-eaten crushed ice rolled to the ground.

"Because of me?" Lozee bent down to pick up the crushed ice, and said something inaudible.

"Yes, because of you. I'm here to stay with you. “

Lozee got up, walked up to me, leaned over and hugged me.