Narrator: Gong Jingyang

City A.

When I came back here, my heart was steady, and I was at peace.

Compared to the imperial capital, this is the place where I live and where my soul is placed.

I hate the hypocrisy of those people in the imperial capital, I obviously don't like it, but I have to pretend to like it.

I don't like them, they don't like me even more!!

As those who were muttering behind my back said, I really became a cold-blooded person without feelings.

I don't think I'm that kind of person, but since they say so, I don't bother to argue, which means being silent and admitting that I'm really emotionless.

A lie told a thousand times becomes the truth.

Truth is universally accepted by exile.

Now that I have banished this truth from myself, it has had the same effect.

I didn't accept this assessment, but I faced it with ease.

For me, apart from my grandmother, there is no one or anything in this world that makes my heart flutter and move my heart for it.

Now, there is not even such a person.

Just yesterday afternoon, my grandmother was solemnly laid to rest in the ground amid the weeping and crying of her relatives.

She's going to see the old man!

Grandma, my dearest grandma, she is the only person in this world who says that I am flesh and blood, affectionate and righteous.

It was also her old man who I experienced the warmth and affection of the world.

And now, she has been away from me for a long time, and I am supposed to be the saddest and sadest one, but I can't turn a tear in my eyes, and I can't even feel a trace of discomfort in my heart.

Grandma, I'm sorry, my grandson is not filial.

I sincerely ask for your forgiveness, but I really can't cry, not even a small cry, and I can't squeeze out tears.

Because, grandma, you often say to me: men don't believe in tears, and grandma's grandchildren don't believe in tears.

As soon as the funeral was over, I made a "request" to my parents, who were still strangers, in other words, to present my decision to them: "I want to go back to where I used to live with my grandmother." ”

In my concept, it is the happiest place for me---- City A.

She is a "beautiful and spiritual" place that fills me with fantasies.

Before the age of thirteen, my grandmother and I lived in a slum area in City A, a courtyard house in the Republic of China, dilapidated, but clean, neat, and warm.

However, last year, the place was demolished, and the government planned to build rows of new new buildings.

Our courtyard has become a 180-square-meter building. From the poorest to the local tyrant in that area.

Poverty, or misery, that is the definition in the minds of others. And I, deep down, she became my place, my home.

In the five years in the imperial capital, I didn't melt into her blood, I was just a passer-by, or a spectator.

"This child ......" The father is helpless, and the mother is helpless. I can't integrate into the imperial capital, and I don't get close to them.

I want to go back to City A all the time, in fact, my grandmother also wants to go back to City A all the time, but she never mentions it, she said: "Yangzi, the imperial capital is the best, and it will be good for you to develop in the future!" ”

Grandma doesn't know anything else, as long as it's good for me, she does her best, so even if she wants to go back to City A and study for my education...... She listened to her parents' arrangement.

Before, I didn't understand, I thought that my grandmother liked the imperial capital, and besides, she was not in good health, and in the imperial capital, she could get better treatment, so I accompanied her.

It was only a moment before her grandmother died that she said softly, "...... A…… City ......"

At that time, I suddenly realized that the place where she put her soul, just like me, was City A!

However, her parents buried her in the imperial capital!!

I don't want to give any opinion, I have nothing to say to them.

Immediately after my grandmother's burial, I said, "I want to go back to City A."

When my parents heard my decision, they were speechless for a long time.

From their wide-eyed eyes and expressions that couldn't say a word for a long time, I knew that they were no less surprised than I had been when I didn't call them "Mom and Dad."

My mother raised her teary eyes and asked me, "You really refuse to forgive your parents until now?" ”

I was silent.

This is a difficult question to answer, and it is no less complex than the creation of human beings.

Dad's phone rang.

I knew it must be another call. Although I don't hate him, I don't accept him and my mother from the bottom of my heart.

What is most important in their minds? It's the company!

Ever since I was sensible, I knew that my son was not as important as their company.

For the sake of the company, they can forget their son's birthday at a time.

That's it. I sometimes don't see them for a year and a half. Even when my grandmother was sick, I couldn't find them. I really don't want to remember all of this!

Before answering the phone, my dad looked at me and said, "What else can I say?" ”

"Don't say anything!" I said lightly.

"What can I do for you?" He looked me straight in the eye with a tired expression. Grandma's death also hit him hard, but I pretended not to see it.

In the same tone as usual, I replied coldly, "I wish me a smooth journey." ”

Our father-son conversations have always been so simple.

He stared at me, his eyes getting more and more terrifying.

It was the first time I had seen him like this, and it was the first time I had looked at him so seriously and so closely.

I'd love to see what kind of father he is.

The bad thing is that I really can't see through it.

Could it be that shopping malls really lose their human nature? He is very good at hiding his emotions, real expressions. But we are father and son!

Everyone says that father and son are connected, but why can't my father's heart and I never connect, and the distance between my heart is so far away and strange.

Farther than the distance from the imperial capital to City A, farther, and farther.

I want to read a trace of his love in his eyes, but I really can't feel the presence of that father's love.

On his third birthday, my heart for him was dead.

I will never forget the excitement I felt when I waited for my parents' birthday, nor the feeling of not being disappointed by them, nor the terrible feeling of accidentally knocking over the candle and almost burning myself, nor the scene when my grandmother rushed into the fire in spite of her illness to save me, and the lonely and helpless feeling of waiting for my grandmother to wake up in the hospital.

Where were my parents then?

I was disappointed in my parents, and I was so disappointed that I was so disappointed.

And they, for the sake of work and the company, have been ignoring the change in my mood until they find out that it is too late.

I can't accept them psychologically.

Well, why bother with all these things. Is it because of grandma's death?!