Early in the morning, the sky was not yet bright, the sky had just turned white, Zhou Ruikang had slowly woken up, gently took Cheng Jiaqi's hand on his chest, lifted the quilt, casually draped in a shirt, sat on the windowsill, looking at the pale in the sky, the white was like someone's face, weak and powerless, he took out the letter sent by his father half a year ago from the drawer, looked at the list of deaths in the letter, and fell into a deep mourning remembrance again, mother, brother, Xun Mei...... There is also a soul that is about to die...... Mei Ruojun......

Father's letter was very long, and even Shu Zhi's homework results were reported, and the only person who was not mentioned was Mei Ruojun, but he guessed that now she is like a weak pale on the horizon, and her soul hovers between life and death.

He habitually lit a cigarette and leaned against the window lattice, and he had to admit that his heart was beating for her all the time.

He turned his head to look at Cheng Jiaqi in his sleep, an almost perfect woman, a perfect wife, they have gotten along very well in the past two years, yes, very good, he doesn't know how to describe this "good", they do live the life of a golden boy and girl who is envied, but no matter how hard she tries, no matter how hard he forces himself, she still can't enter his heart, he blames himself almost every day, repents, guilt, and tries to make up for it, he lives every day with a mask, only at dawn, when the earth has not yet woken up, He had a short time to face his heart.

The three words of Mei Ruojun have long been engraved on his heart, flowing in his blood, although they are separated by thousands of mountains and rivers, and there is no news, but the thoughts are like volcanoes, and the flood cannot be stopped at all. His mind was full of that thunderstorm night, and her soft call: "Ruikang ......" was the secret she revealed after losing her father and having an emotional breakdown, and he was the deepest and deepest secret in her heart.

He was immersed in his own memories, and did not notice that his wife had opened her beautiful eyes, she looked at his silhouette on the windowsill, handsome and romantic like a paper cut, the cigarette butt flickered on and off, and he spit out smoke to surround himself.

He smoked more and more, the person became more and more silent, he became deeper and more melancholy, which made him more full of manly charm, more sexy and charming, he sat there like a lonely prince, and the window began to light up gradually.

"What are you thinking?" Her question made him jump for a moment, and his heart sank, ah, the day was dawning, and the misty past, with that soft ray of the morning sun, slowly dissipated like the morning mist. He took a deep breath and put on his mask again.

He smiled softly at her: "I just got up early and enjoyed the early morning scenery." ”

He stepped down from the windowsill, snuffed out the cigarette butt in the ashtray, put his father's letter back in the drawer, and walked to the bedside, his well-proportioned and toned body shining sensually in the morning light.

She reached out and took his hand, she needed to feel his temperature, only a real touch could confirm that he was really by his side, and not just an illusion, an illusory feeling that had been with her since the first day of their marriage.

He is a good husband, everything puts her first, considerate, gentle and thoughtful, they have never quarreled, even if sometimes she plays petty, he will always try his best to coax her, please her, their marriage is so enviable, beautiful that everyone thinks they are a model couple, impeccable.

And it is because of this incredible perfection that it caused a sense of uneasiness in her heart, she knew him, knew him, understood him, she knew that he was not the kind of man who was as gentle as water, he used to be like a raging fire, he had changed too much, she didn't know if his change was good or bad, but his change made her often have an illusory feeling, is he still the vibrant, enthusiastic Zhou Ruikang she knew? Is this perfect marriage real? Is this perfect husband real?

She wasn't sure anymore, she pulled him to her side, hugged him tightly, kissed him, caressed his body, buried her face in his arms, and asked softly, "Do you belong to me?" Is it? ”

"Of course it is. I belong to you. Am I not right next to you? He kissed her forehead, trying to get himself into character as quickly as he could.

"Yes, your body belongs to me, but what about your heart? Does your heart belong to me? She looked up at him.

O woman who is drunk in love, you always ask too much. He raised his hand to caress her face, why did she have to ask? He thought she was stupid, or he thought she was too smart.

"Yes, my heart belongs to yours too." The corners of his mouth are still smiling, and his acting skills seem to be getting better and better, and there is no flaw at all.

But she didn't believe it, she wanted him to further prove his loyalty, to prove that he belonged to her completely, she grabbed his neck, let him press lightly on herself, her eyes flowed with infinite love, they had been husband and wife for almost three years, he understood the desire in her eyes.

He didn't understand how those men managed to separate their desires, but he couldn't do it, and he didn't know why it happened, but he just didn't have any desire, and Jiaqi, who had always been reserved between them, took the initiative, and then he cooperated, could it be that he was abnormal? But when he was in the small attic, whenever he got close to Mei Ruojun, he wanted her like crazy.

The most painful thing is that he often imagines Jiaqi as Mei Ruojun when he is *. He was in pain, he was in pain, he was in great pain, and this pain would continue, no one could save him, no one could save Mei Ruojun, they were like ghosts punished by the gods, going through all kinds of hellish torments.

He looked at her with a smile and said softly, "It's not early, I have a meeting in the morning, can I come back in the evening?" As he spoke, he kissed her on the cheek, turned over and got dressed: "I'll go buy breakfast first, what do you want to eat?" Last time you said that the steamed buns were delicious, how about I buy you two and make some porridge? ”

She also sat up, walked behind him, and wrapped her arms around his waist: "Then you come back early." ”

"Okay." Wearing a military uniform, he is handsome and heroic, which makes people's hearts beat faster. He had graduated from the military academy and was placed in the General Staff. Jiaqi was also praised, but because of her injuries, she could no longer go to the battlefield, and was sent to the rear military hospital as a nurse.

//

The front-line war is tight, after looking at the military map for a whole day, and holding a military meeting for a whole day, Zhou Ruikang's head hurts a little, and it was already ten o'clock in the evening when he returned to the dormitory with his briefcase, and as soon as he opened the door, Jiaqi greeted him with a spring breeze on his face and gave him a hug warmly.

"Come back, I'll go and heat up the food for you."

"No, I've already eaten it when I'm in a meeting. I have a meeting tomorrow morning, and I want to go to bed early. ”

"Want to sleep? Hey, what do you see here? Jiaqi suddenly took out a letter from behind her, smiled and shook it in her hand a little proudly.

The beacon fire has been in for three months, and the family letter is worth 10,000 dollars!

"Letter?!" Sure enough, Ruikang's spirits perked up, and his eyes lit up. "Who's the letter?" He asked excitedly.

"It was sent by my brother."

"Great, I haven't heard from home for almost half a year, are they all okay?"

Ruikang put down his briefcase and took off his hat.

"My family is fine, although the Japanese are rampant, but I like to drink tea very much, the business of our tea house is quite stable, but your family seems to be ...... With some changes, my brother has written on it. She bit her lip.

Ruikang was just about to take the letter from her hand, but Jiaqi suddenly shrank back, he looked at her in confusion, and saw that she was a little hesitant.

"What's wrong?"

Jiaqi looked at him deeply, paused, and handed him the letter, "Look for yourself." ”

Ruikang saw that her expression was different, his heart sank, and he hurriedly opened Jiawei's letter. At the beginning, he talked about some trivial matters of the Cheng family and some situations in Beiping City, and it was not until the last page that the situation of the Zhou family was mentioned.

“…… Uncle Zhou's health is slightly ill, but there is no major problem, but I am worried about the problem of the Zhou family's heirs, I have no choice but to explain it to him, every time I see his look of anticipation, I always feel guilty in my heart. In addition, if Jun and Ding Xiaohui seem to be going well, I guess there will be good news after the year, Ding is a serious and calm person, and takes good care of the Zhou family, I have observed for a long time, it is not hypocritical and exaggerated. If you can throw off the shackles of feudal etiquette and bravely pursue happiness, I will be happy to ......"

The letter paper kept shaking in his hand, he threw Jiawei's letter on the table, his whole body trembled slightly, he walked to the window without saying a word, took out a cigarette and lit it, and as the smoke spewed out of his mouth and nose, his eyebrows were already tightly frowned.

"You're not happy?" She asked tentatively, with the sharp eyes of a bailiff.

He looked at the night outside the window and shook his head, and said in a deep voice, "No." Just a bit of a surprise. ”

Although he had his back to her, the glass window had reflected his tightly knit brow and sad eyes.

She smiled: "This is a good thing, I was worried that Ruojun would keep those feudal thoughts and plan to be widowed for the rest of her life, but now it seems that she can finally find a good home." I'm so happy for her. ”

What she said seemed to be very relaxed, very natural, very casual, she was indeed sincerely happy for Ruojun, her blessings were sincere, but the tone was not the true emotion in her heart.

Zhou Ruikang didn't say anything, just stood in front of the window and spit out clouds, his silence made her hide a trace of worry in her heart, and the smoke he spewed out slowly spread in her heart.

No, no, he won't have any thoughts about Mei Ruojun anymore, she comforted herself, in the past three years, he has been considerate and gentle to herself, they have had so much intimate contact, he can't still have Mei Ruojun in his heart, he must just be tired.

But she was obviously not confident in her conclusion, and unconsciously continued: "When Ruojun gets married, let's give them a big gift." It's a pity that we couldn't go back to Peking to attend their wedding. I'd like to give her a necklace or earrings, but I'm in a hurry, so I think I'd better send money......"

He really wants to be deaf, Jiaqi's chatter, every word is piercing his heart, he is almost annoyed, his heart seems to be roasted by fire, remarry, remarry, hehe, this damn Mei Ruojun, he suffers for her in his heart every day, and she is in love with other men. This woman is really frivolous and wavering, she can neither keep her vows nor be faithful to her marriage, she is such a woman with a weak mind, why should she worry about this woman?

Forget her, forget her, let her get out of her heart, he kept brainwashing and hypnotizing himself, but on the other hand, he was irritable to death, he didn't know where this Ding Xiaohui was sacred? can make her leave all the traditional etiquette behind, and even make her completely forget the unforgettable relationship with herself to marry him.

Zhou Ruikang really wants to meet this Ding Xiaohui, what kind of three-headed and six-armed character he is, he can compare himself, and even his best brother Cheng Jiawei is full of praise for him.

"Ruikang, are you okay?" She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and pressed her face against his back.

"Huh? What the? He didn't hear what she was saying.

She turned to him and said with a smile, "What's wrong with you?" I said that I would give the pair of pearl earrings you bought for me as a wedding gift. I can ask Xiaoli to bring it back......"

He shook his head and interrupted her with a roar: "Did you say enough? What wedding gifts? Is anyone getting married now? Is there one? What are you doing in such a hurry? Also, I bought the pearl earrings for you, and you want them to do favors? You are so generous, why don't you send your husband out to do favors? It's just inexplicable! ”

He pulled her hand away and stepped aside angrily, the fire in his heart couldn't be suppressed, and he roared again: "I tell you, don't tell me Mei Ruojun in front of me in the future, and don't tell me anything about Mei Ruojun, I don't want to know, if she wants to remarry, let her marry, marry, marry!" Damn it! ”

He raised his hand high, threw the cigarette on the ground heavily, raised his eyes and saw Cheng Jiaqi stunned, and suddenly regretted in his heart, they have never quarreled in the past three years of marriage, he has never said a word to her out loud, his acting skills are becoming more and more exquisite, and he has even entered the play very deeply, and he can't distinguish between truth and falsehood, but tonight, Mei Ruojun's three words completely broke his success and made him play.

Looking at the plot that was smashed, looking at Jiaqi's pale face and reddened eyes, he wanted to comfort her, but he was so annoyed that he couldn't pretend anymore, his mind was full of Mei Ruojun, he didn't know how to stuff a Cheng Jiaqi, he didn't have the heart to comfort her, he just wanted to fly back to Beiping now, go to Mei's courtyard to pull Mei Ruojun out, scold her, pinch her to death, this woman who has tormented him for so many years, he hates her to death.

He rushed to the door, grabbed his coat, put on his hat, pulled the door open, and rushed out.

The door was slammed shut, "Bang! Cheng Jiaqi woke up, and also shattered her perfect marriage, the perfect marriage that had lasted for three years turned out to be just a mirage, and the news that Mei Ruojun was going to remarry was enough to make all the illusions dissipate with the wind. No, it won't, she doesn't believe it, how can the perfect marriage she paid such a heavy price in exchange for be illusory? No, absolutely not, absolutely impossible, she didn't believe it.

Mei Ruojun, Mei Ruojun, she read this name in her heart, and her body unconsciously shivered, and she realized that she had a deep fear of this name in her heart for a long time, not today, not this year, but many years ago, when they went to Mei's house together for the first time to visit the two "plum blossoms" of Mei's family, they had planted fear.

Yes, that day Ruikang and Mei Ruojun were talking by the stone grinding in the courtyard, although he couldn't hear what they were saying, but the way he looked at her was different, he was so eager to stop her marriage with his eldest brother, there was something in his eyes, she didn't know what it was at the time, and only now did she understand that it was a longing, a desire for love.

She felt dizzy in front of her eyes, leaned on the edge of the table, and sat down on the stool, no, she couldn't let her hard-won happy marriage be ruined like this, she thought for a moment, walked to the desk, picked up a pen and paper and wrote a long letter......