Ruikang held her, she nervously raised her eyelashes to meet his gaze, to be honest, although Hu Xiaofen is beautiful, it is still worse than those women in Ruikang's life in the past, not to mention the delicate and dusty Mei Ruojun, but her smile is very sweet, a slight smile can make people sweet to the heart, and youth is her greatest capital, full face, shiny skin, flashing eyes, all release the breath of spring.

But Ruikang was not interested in her, let go of his hand, took half a step back and said: "Xiaofen, I thank you for taking care of me over the years, and I also know your heart for me, but I'm sorry, I can't accept it." ”

"Why?" She was stabbed directly by his coldness.

"I have a wife and children."

"I know, but, for so many years, you never mentioned letting her come and reunite with you, and you didn't love her at all."

"You're wrong, the wife I'm talking about is not the one in the courtyard of the Zhou family in Beiping, but the one in my heart. I love her, love hurts to the heart, love is miserable. You don't understand. ”

"Is that the woman surnamed Mei?" She burst into tears of excitement and bit her lip tightly.

When he saw her sad, he inevitably felt a little sad in his heart, sighed, shook his head and said, "Yes, I don't want to hurt you, but what I said is the truth, I'm sorry." ”

She looked aggrieved and disappointed, biting her lip and lowering her head.

At this point, he didn't want to entangle with her anymore, and added: "It's not appropriate for you to live with me anymore, I will ask someone to help you find another place to live, and I will help you pay for your medical school tuition." In short, you don't have to worry about your life. Good luck. With that, he turned away, and no matter how much she cried behind her, no matter how much she called, he did not look back, nor did he take it to heart.

The wedding was still carried out in a grand manner, the evening aftershow was moved indoors, everyone was singing, drinking, dancing, laughing, the atmosphere was warm and beautiful, Zhou Ruikang was pulled to play cards and gamble with several friends of Song Yuanyang, cigarettes, alcohol, money, and I don't know if it was because of the frustration in the love field, his gambling luck was good, and he won a lot of money.

The party can still make people forget their troubles for a while, Ruikang and a group of gamblers, drunkards all night together, but also very happy, he has not been so happy for a long time, I don't know what time to play, alcohol gradually occupied his brain, unconsciously fell asleep in the leather sofa on the side.

I don't know how long he slept, he began to dream, in the dream, he fluttered back to the Zhou family compound, saw his parents, they smiled, but their eyes were full of worry looking at him, his parents' eyes made him feel guilty, and hurriedly left.

All the way to the backyard, the door of the study was open, he saw his eldest brother Ryan sitting at the desk drawing, and he was about to walk in, Ryan looked up at him and smiled gently and said, "Ruikang, you are back, this is for you." ”

Saying that, he threw a piece of drawing paper at him, Ruikang took it, looked down and saw that it was a plum blossom picture, Ruikang's heart suddenly fell, and he quickly threw away the painting paper in fright, and withdrew from the study in a panic, his throat seemed to be blocked by something, and he ran all the way to his Yongmei Garden.

A girl in the Yongmei Garden came out from under the plum tree and jumped in front of him, she wore two black braids, her eyes flashed, and she called him with a smile: "Zhou Ruikang!" He was stunned, it was Mei Ruoli, he was about to talk to her, her face suddenly turned blue-black, and she pointed her finger at him and asked, "Why are you lying to me?" ”

His scalp suddenly went numb, and he ran to his bedroom in fear, and saw Jiaqi sitting alone on the edge of the bed, stroking his Zizhu Xiao, looking sad and lonely, his face was haggard and pale, and when he saw him walk into the room, he just said sadly: "You're finally back!" ”

He was scared and exited the bedroom, ran frantically into the back garden, got lost in the back garden, went around for a long time, and felt that there were many, many people behind him, each of these people wanted to settle accounts with him, and each wanted him to take the responsibilities that he was unwilling to bear, no, he didn't want to compromise, never, he wanted to be himself, he roared, rushed out the back door, and ran all the way to the broken temple.

He saw her, he finally saw her, she was standing in front of the big Buddha statue in plain white, like a white plum blossom.

"Ruojun!" His voice was empty and empty, and he called out to her, "Come with me, Ruojun." ”

She stood there motionless, just looking at him sadly, shaking her head lightly, and said faintly in her mouth: "There are many plum blossoms and plum blossoms, there is a reason for the past, and it is the will of heaven for the flowers to fall and drift, and there are two boundless ...... in ten years of life and death."

He didn't understand what she was talking about, but she was reciting these two lines over and over again, when suddenly he heard another voice, his own: "As long as she can live, I am willing to be separated from her, and there will be no more thoughts in this life and this life." ”

"As long as she can come back to life, I am willing to separate from her, and I will no longer have any thoughts of separation in this life and this life." ……

Ah, that's the vow he once made in front of the Buddha statue, he looked up at the Buddha statue with a compassionate face in horror, no, no, no, I love her, I want to be with her, I'm sorry, Buddha, it's me who broke the oath, but I can't live without her, I am willing to cultivate in the next life, serve the Buddha, but in this life, please be compassionate, let's be together, he knelt in front of the Buddha statue, worshipped, prayed.

The Buddha statue was silent, he couldn't care much, he rushed up, hugged her tightly, hugged his plum blossoms......

She hugged him too, and they ran into the wilderness, in the wild grass one man high, he kissed her deeply, she responded to him obediently, he impatiently untied her clothes, let her bloom in front of his eyes like a peony flower, her fragrance surrounded him, her slender and soft arms gently wrapped around his shoulders, her skin was so warm and elastic, his blood boiled rapidly, ah, how many years did he look forward to having her again, he blended with her as gently and eagerly as possible, His kiss kissed every inch of her skin like raindrops, and her delicate gasps slowly entered his ears, making his heart even more excited, he wanted to give her the best, he wanted her to enjoy the most beautiful fish and water, he wanted to dedicate himself to her......

"Ruojun, Ruojun, Ruojun......." he kept whispering in her ear, "I love you...... I love you......." In the darkness he became one with her again and again......

Finally, his whole body was tense and enjoyed the meat. The supreme pleasure of the body released himself, and he heard her joyful coquettishness, and he was very happy, very happy, very contented to hold her and fall asleep......

He dreamed that her face was flushed with shyness, this stupid Ruojun, who was already a mother, was still so shy, but he loved her shyness so much, he kissed her, kissed her, kissed her, and kissed her......

//

It wasn't until the chirping of birds outside the window that Ruikang woke up in a daze, but his mind was still immersed in last night's dream, what a real dream, everything seemed to be real, he hugged her tightly, unlike the usual substitute pillow, today she is warm, elastic, breathing, and exudes a feminine fragrance.

"Ruojun, I love you, I don't want to wake up......"

"I'm not Ruojun, I'm Xiaofen......"

Rumble! Like a thunderbolt, like a bucket of ice water, like being stabbed into the heart by someone, Zhou Ruikang was almost not frightened by this sentence out of his body, suddenly a spirit, suddenly sleepy, opened his eyes, sat up from the quilt with a bang, and looked at the whole body around him. Light. Slide. Hu Xiaofen, he was completely dumbfounded, she turned around and looked at him shyly, the blush on her face had not faded.

Yes! Ruikang froze there, staring blankly at her face, his heart pounding, he couldn't believe it was true.

"What's going on? ...... How did you end up here? What did we do? He asked repeatedly, and his face was very ugly.

She still blinked her big bright eyes and said softly, "Don't be nervous, I don't mind...... I'm willing to ......"

Ha! This is really the funniest and most sarcastic thing Zhou Ruikang has ever heard, he lifted the quilt, turned over and got up, put on pajama pants, put on a nightgown, and roared angrily: "You don't mind I don't mind, you want me to do it!" You...... You fucking fuck off, fuck me out! ”

Hu Xiaofen was stunned, last night's tender and affectionate Zhou Ruikang suddenly became the coldest and most ruthless man in the world. She didn't believe he was really trying to chase her away, she didn't move, still lying on the bed.

Ruikang stood by the window trembling angrily, pointed at her and scolded: "I told you to get out, did you hear it, who let you into my room?" Who is it? ”

He trembled with anger, spoke incoherently, shook his hand, swept the stack of books, lamps, and stationery on the table to the ground, his whole face was flushed, and gradually twisted, stretched out his fingers trembling and pointed at Hu Xiaofen and shouted: "You'd better disappear for me immediately, don't force me to do it to women." ”

His eyebrows were lowered and lowered, his eyes were burning with a cold fire, his whole body was panting violently, the muscles of his face were trembling, his teeth were clucking, and he looked like an angry wolf that was about to pounce and bite her neck at any moment.

She was stunned, and then slowly realized that he was really angry, sat up in a hurry, looked at him in fear, trembled her lips, risked her life, wanted to make a last stand, and spit out a few words: "Rui...... Kang, I love you......"

"Ah!!! ~~~~Shut up! He was mad, stepping on the bed, and really flew at her like a beast, and his big hands like iron tongs dragged her up from the bed and threw her against the door.

Hu Xiaofen was slammed on the door panel by him, and let out a "bang!" There was a loud bang, and there was a sharp pain in the forehead, cheeks, and shoulders, and Venus appeared in front of him.

But Ruikang has been occupied by anger at this time, don't say anything to pity the jade, he didn't kill her, he was already very restrained, jumped out of bed, pulled Hu Xiaofen from the ground, and didn't care that she was naked at this time... Luo, yelling and struggling, Rikon opened the door and threw her out.

grabbed her scattered on the ground, the slippers on the bed, the nightgown, all wrapped together, threw them all on her body, and turned around, "Bang!" The door slammed shut.

This is the first time he has been rough with a woman, to be honest, just now, he almost wanted to punch her to death, he hated, he hated! No one can understand the pain and hatred in his heart...... She pretended to be Ruojun and climbed into her bed, she ruined his ideal of love, she tarnished his true feelings for Ruojun!

Hu Xiaofen outside the door also screamed and ran out frantically.

Zhou Ruikang slapped himself hard, collapsed in the chair with a pop, hugged his head and cried......

The whole manor was awakened, and it was a mess, and some of the servants chased after Chi... Body.. Gauze... Hu Xiaofen, who was about to jump into the lake, some shouted and ran up and down to inform Song Yuanyang, and some ran to knock on Zhou Ruikang's door.

Zhou Ruikang didn't care whether Hu Xiaofen was going to commit suicide at all, because at this moment he himself wanted to commit suicide, he let Song Yuanyang's servants knock on the door and shout his name at the door, he didn't care.

He poured himself a glass of red wine, took a sip, and all of a sudden, he began to hate the wine, why he was so drunk last night, why he didn't lock the door last night, damn it, damn it, damn it!

Staring at the tempting red liquid in the glass, he saw his own failures and stains, and suddenly he was extremely disgusted with wine, he frantically squeezed it hard, as if he was going to pinch himself to death, and crushed the red wine glass in his hand, the sharp glass pierced into his palm, and blood mixed with red wine splashed all over.

Song Yuanyang and a few servants opened the door with the key, walked in, and saw that the blood on his hands was flowing, and his body and face were covered with bright red liquid, and he was shocked.

"Ruikang, what's going on?" Song Yuanyang stepped forward and took the holder of the broken red wine glass from him, helped him on the sofa, and lit a cigarette for him.

The corners of his mouth pulled down, and with a crying voice, he stroked his face: "I'm finished, I'm finished with Ruojun, it's completely finished......" He took the cigarette and didn't look at Song Yuanyang's face, just stared out the window blankly, his eyes were red, and there were layers of tears: "You don't have to make a fake identity for me, and you don't have to arrange a ticket back." He said weakly.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Did something happen to Xiaofen last night? Song Yuanyang asked anxiously, Ruikang hung his head in pain and shook it.

"Ahem, she's willing, it's not a day or two that she likes you, we all know it, everyone is an adult, even if you want to reject her, you don't have to be so radical, she is now scared by you and delirious, my wife is comforting her."

The corners of Ruikang's mouth raised a most helpless and painful smile: "Yuanyang, you are my good friend, but you never understand me." ”

"I know you want to keep the festival for Ruojun, and you don't have a girlfriend, and you don't go out to play, to be honest, everyone is a man, you have kept it for so many years, you are already a god-like person, even if you break the vow once in a while, you don't have to do this, if you know, she will forgive you."

Ruikang was silent, yes, it is unbelievable that a normal man has not been close to women for six or seven years, but Song Yuanyang doesn't know that Ruikang is a person with dull roots, just as Xu Manlin once said, he is an unrealistic romantic, he has unrealistic ideals about the world, career, and love, Mei Ruojun is one of his ideals, a dream, which can be scratched a thousand times, but cannot be stained.

His ideal world is in chaos, and there is no hope for his ideal career, and all that remains is his ideal love..... And now, even his ideal great love, the love of life and death, has been stained by his own hands, and his life has instantly fallen into despair, and he suddenly feels that his world is dark and meaningless.

He knew that most people in this world were mediocre and chasing fame and fortune, and they would not understand his persistence outside the world, including Song Yuanyang in front of him, so he didn't say anything more, took a deep puff of cigarette, and let nicotine calm his tense nerves and depressed mood.

"Yuanyang, I beg you for one thing." He said.

"What's the matter?"

"Don't let me see Hu Xiaofen again, and don't let me see it in this life, otherwise I'm afraid I won't be able to help but kill her and then commit suicide."

Song Yuanyang stared at him in disbelief, thinking that he was too exaggerated, wasn't he just sleeping with a woman? As for killing people? He didn't understand, he didn't understand it at all, and felt that Zhou Ruikang was completely unreasonable, but the seriousness and resoluteness in Zhou Ruikang's eyes made him realize that he was not joking, nor was he impulsive.

I had to nod and agree: "Okay, okay, I'll arrange for her to go to the United States immediately." Far from you. ”

Ruikang left Song Yuanyang's villa in a depressed mood and returned to his big house outside London alone, and from that day on, he closed himself off, whether it was Chinese or British, or even Song Yuanyang, he disappeared.

He threw away all the liquor in the house, and spent most of his time in his study and bedroom, and imprisoned himself like a prisoner.

He didn't have the courage to write to Ruojun again, so he could only confide in her and confess to her in his diary:

"Wakakun My Wife:

I did the most shameful, the most unforgivable thing, I really don't know how that woman climbed into my bed, I was drunk, no, I don't think I was so drunk that I was unconscious, it's just, I was in a dream, I dreamed of you, I missed you so much, I missed you, Ruojun, I defiled our love, Yuanyang said, you will forgive me, but, how can I forgive myself? I feel like a rat in the gutter now, dirty and smelly, unworthy to stand with you.

Ruojun, what should I do? Did you receive my letter? Did you not receive it? Or did you receive a reply from me? I know I owe you too much, I can't give you a name, I let you wander in the world with Nian'an, if you hate me, it is also reasonable, what have I done for your mother and son for so many years? But how can I make up for it?

They're in a big retreat, they're retreating to an island, how can I go back? Even if I could go back, what face would I have to face you?

Ruojun, my beloved wife, I need you ......"

Under the precious lamp, he scribbled on the diary with a pen in his right hand, and the index and middle fingers of his left hand held a cigarette that was almost burned out, put it between his lips, took a puff, and felt that there were thoughts in his heart, unable to calm down, his fingers twisted, turned a page, and wrote the names of Ruojun and Nian'an on the paper over and over again, until late at night, so tired that he fell asleep on the table......