Actually, I questioned myself before I came here. I don't know if I've lost my mind, and I haven't found the right excuse for myself. When the candle flame flickered and flickered, I felt a deadly panic.

So I wanted to do something for myself, maybe it was really a stupid and ridiculous act, with a cheap emotion rampage, never knowing how to look up at the color of the sky.

After thinking about it, I may not have been impulsive enough to be unreasonable, and I have been restraining myself during this period of interference, and some spilled emotions may have burned her good impression of me, but now it seems that it is not so important. Because I'm finding that she's becoming more and more important to me, it's about my heartbeat and my breathing.

So, since it is fate, how can it be irrational to indulge oneself once? At least today's actions can testify to tomorrow: I will still have the madness of my youth, and I still like this girl who is out of reach.

I recently met a rich second generation who asked me to call her Princess. The princess is very cute and very delicate, just like you back then. Sometimes she will please me diligently, sometimes she will pester, sometimes she will ask how beautiful you are and why I lost my heart ...... because of you.

The princess is also very good at enlightening people, and it just so happens that I am also a person with a strange way of thinking, and some tangled and hesitant things are made up in her invective. So, I decided to come to Chengdu once.

I remember that I was very confused when I graduated, but I was also full of expectations and longing for the future. At that time, I couldn't afford to buy a mobile phone that could edit documents, so I bought a notebook and wrote it neatly and neatly as a "five-year plan" without adding points.

I don't dare open it again now because I've strayed too far from course......

At that time, Zhao Qian and I stubbornly ran the talent market, but later we compromised with the society and took up an unfamiliar profession. And I was lucky, although the work was hard and humble, but the treatment was ideal, and the first salary was 4,700 yuan, and Zhao Qian was lying on the dining table and counting repeatedly, and finally deposited into the bank card.

Before coming to Chengdu, Zhao Qian repeatedly asked me if I could go. In fact, I knew that she was afraid that I would be hurt because of this. Sometimes I don't know what to think of my relationship with her, and I don't even feel like she's gone from me......

But those are in the past, and I have a reason to start a new relationship, and it is even more necessary to take a step forward and catch you.

……

The first thing I did when I got off the plane was to send a WeChat message to Zhao Qian to report her safety. But after saying that, I began to get confused again, looking at the pedestrians coming and going in front of me, and I couldn't make up my mind about what to do in the face of this strange city. At eight o'clock in the evening, the multi-day and hurried crowds gave people a sense of panic.

I didn't have anyone to meet today, I didn't have a place to go, I didn't even have a plan for dinner, and I started to question myself again.

More than 100 days ago, when Hu Shanshan and I planned to walk 318 together, I marked a lot of schedules, when to buy equipment, when to take anti-antihyperactive drugs in advance, when to come, and when to return......

However, when I came to Sichuan today, I didn't have the courage to send a WeChat message to Hu Shanshan. Maybe while I feel lost and panicked, I still have a trace of sadness and inferiority in my heart!

In the eyes of many people, I should be a mature, steady, cautious person. I've always been proud because I had more material things than many of my classmates and friends my age, and a lot of people liked me.

But few people know that I feel inexplicably lonely and sad at night, as if there is a demon at work in my heart, and always wait until night to encourage me to do something self-harming.

Today, the devil finally forced me into the streets of Chengdu, and at this moment he looked down on me with a hideous gaze.

But I don't regret it either, because this has always been where I wanted to be.

For Hu Shanshan, I feel quite sorry for her, and I am sorry for myself. My good friends were so bad that I couldn't even give each other a greeting.

Perhaps because I had a failed relationship, I began to frame my love in a ceremonial way, thinking about one day showing love and proposing one day. But I was too eager and paranoid, and I couldn't wait to use a network cable to instill all my emotions in the past, which backfired, and finally wrapped a veil of pessimism in my feelings.

So my love must be rancid. It's like leftovers that have been aged for three days in the summer, and the mayflies linger and the sour smell fills the sky! How could Hu Shanshan face up to such love, just a network cable, how much love can it be?

I don't know why friendships have become deformed, am I interested in it? Or is love on the internet inherently fragile and weird? But anyway, I never regretted running with her.

After coming to Chengdu, I realized that the distance between me and her was not as far as I imagined, and she could sit opposite me and have dinner and tea with me, or sit side by side with me on the chair in the theater. I should have come a long time ago, whether she liked me or not, we were friends. Even the strangest friends are enough for us to meet, invite each other to dinner, and say hello for no reason.

Thinking of this, I still mustered up the courage to send a WeChat message to Hu Shanshan.

"Da Shanshan, are you in Chengdu now?"

It took her a long time to reply to me succinctly, "um"

"I want to see you," I said.

"What's there to see? Netizen... Nothing more...! ”

"Da Shanshan, don't do this, you know that wasn't what I intended."

"I don't know."

"Where are you? I want to tell you face to face. ”

Hu Shanshan was isolated for a long time before replying: "You came to Chengdu?" Came here to see me? ”

"Otherwise, why?"

"How do I know? What if you're here to meet a netizen? ”

"It's all said, I'm just a netizen like you"

"Look, you still admit that I'm just a netizen in your heart"

"Can you not chew the words? You orient me, I'll go to you. ”

"Tomorrow! I'm with my colleagues now. ”

……

Hu Shanshan asked me to meet at Shiling near Chengda at noon tomorrow. said that the ginkgo biloba over there was a beautiful scenery, and she wanted to take a group photo with her colleagues, but she lacked a camera.

At the end of the chat, a trace of warmth flashed in my heart, and I also felt a sense of belonging to the city in front of me. At this time, the rich second generation called me and asked me if I had arrived in Chengdu.

"Manager Lu, have you arrived in Chengdu?" She asked.

"Don't call me that, I'll not be the manager soon."

"Eh! Looks like a crime! She laughed heartlessly on the other end of the phone, and then asked: "Take a taxi to Yulin Road!" There's a show here in a moment. ”

"You're also in Chengdu?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes! I went to college in Chengdu! …… Eh, are you here or not? Hurry up, you're going to get in line. ”