I'm a very withdrawn person, and although I seem optimistic, I really don't have any friends, and even when the few friends are busy, I can only secretly feel sad, do my own thing, and then act as if nothing happened. - Tian Xiaoxiao.

"Q Dong, do you like desserts?"

"I don't like it." Tian Xiaoxiao drank black coffee and put away his previous personality.

In the eyes of her colleagues, she is not a kind boss, even if she has a warm and hungry smile all day long, but her eyes are lonely.

When she gets off work, Tian Xiaoxiao will secretly buy desserts and her favorite milk tea, but these can't be discovered.

Because, she is a boss and an artist, and life has smoothed out her water chestnut and made her tired of the ordinary present.

However, when I was a teenager, I couldn't realize my dreams, and I don't know when I became cringe, and I used to want to go on a trip.

Tian Xiaoxiao yearns for poetry and distance, but the reality is indeed skinny, there is no romance of romance, only the absurdity and skinny feeling of Rashomon.

Tian Xiaoxiao loves to read, likes to read books that are incompatible with people, and I don't know why she likes to read biographies as a teenager, or stories about reality, and she once longed for love.

However, the life of chicken feathers in one place made Tian Xiaoxiao have no idea, and Tian Xiaoxiao at that time only wanted to get ahead.

And now Tian Xiaoxiao has everything, but he doesn't have the courage at that time, the courage to want to do what he loves.

Later, my memory recovered a little, and I remembered the past, but I found that I couldn't find my adoptive mother anymore, and I didn't know the contact information I used to have.

Back in the old place, because of a sudden phone call, they said that the adoptive mother had passed away.

"Your mother is a very gentle old lady, some time ago just last year, she bought us the house when she was sick, and she also said at that time that if someone came to her, tell that person that she had died, and if no one was looking for her, call this number." The current resident said.

Life and death always come suddenly.

"Mom, I'm sorry, I'm too late......"

Tian Xiaoxiao took off her mask, knelt in the house that had changed hands a long time ago, and stroked the door that had not been changed, and the previous scene swirled in front of her over and over again.

When she was the most humble and clumsy, she was bullied and hated, but her mother seemed to be the only person in the world who loved her.

Even if it is not her biological mother, in Tian Xiaoxiao's heart, she is already the same as her biological mother.

There was a downpour, which soaked Tian Xiaoxiao's clothes and made Tian Xiaoxiao's eyes unable to open.

Memories are drifting, like the rain that never stops.

At that time, Tian Xiaoxiao stayed at home because her family had no money to go to kindergarten, even if she was six years old.

"Xiaoxiao, don't go out to play in the future, okay? It's raining outside, and it's going to catch you cold! The mother rubbed Tian Xiaoxiao's wet hair and took out the clothes for Tian Xiaoxiao from the closet.

"But it's so hot at home, and the water is always cut off, if I go out, I can save money for bathing!" Tian Xiaoxiao squinted and smiled childishly, but he didn't notice the bitterness in his mother's eyes.

Life is tight, but it's happy.

Tian Xiaoxiao learned a long, long time later that she was not her mother's biological child.

The mother was bought by her stepfather into a small village, and she was originally a primary school teacher in another province, but her mother was born without ovaries and could not give birth to children.

And Tian Xiaoxiao, who was abducted, happened to lose her memory.

The two people relied on each other, like two matches burning in winter, and their mother gave all the good to Tian Xiaoxiao, and Tian Xiaoxiao was also determined to be filial to her mother.

However, the stepfather is an uncompetitive thing, a gambler and likes domestic violence, and then the mother couldn't stand it and divorced the stepfather, or separated.

Mother used to be a knowledgeable person, so she knew that knowledge was power, she desperately wanted Tian Xiaoxiao to go to a good school, but poverty is the biggest difficulty, no matter how much she shrunk her clothes and diet, it was difficult to maintain her life, but fortunately, Tian Xiaoxiao was pitiful and thin on weekdays.

Tian Xiaoxiao knows what her mother wants, but it's a pity that what she has always wanted to achieve is really difficult, she seems to be really a big fool, there are a lot of things she doesn't understand, she hates those math problems and memorizes the solution method.

But why did Aunt Wang change to Aunt Li, and suddenly it won't? Tian Xiaoxiao has always been a middle school student, and then she finally finished high school with a bump.

Tian Xiaoxiao later failed the college entrance examination, but her mother did not give up.

Mother was waiting for Tian Xiaoxiao at the entrance of the examination room.

Tian Xiaoxiao bit her lip and didn't dare to look at her mother, she said, "I'm sorry Mom, I didn't do well in the exam, I may really not be suitable for school......"

Mother didn't get angry, but said unusually calmly, "It's okay, Mom, as long as you're happy and happy, it's okay." ”

Later, her mother spent money to stuff Tian Xiaoxiao into a third-rate university, no matter how difficult it was, she gritted her teeth and insisted on sending Tian Xiaoxiao to college.

"Mom, why are you working so hard, I'm not the material for reading at all." Tian Xiaoxiao couldn't understand her mother's persistence, she felt that she was not worthy of her mother's care and love.

"Because, I hope you can see a wider world, as my mother said, I just want you to be happy, it's okay." Mother always likes to say that it's okay, and even if there is something, she will classify it as nothing.

Later, I found out that there was really a wider sky there, which was one of the few happy times for Tian Xiaoxiao, but the happy times were always short-lived, and there were no friends.

Because they have friends, they have to go out to eat and go shopping together, but Tian Xiaoxiao can't support this.

The lonely days changed because of meeting Su Yang, but the former mountain alliance and sea oath were destroyed in an instant.

Tian Xiaoxiao didn't know what the true meaning of life was for a long time, and what the meaning of existence in this world was.

Tian Xiaoxiao got up, did not cry bitterly, but changed his clothes when nothing happened, booked a plane ticket and rushed to work again.

"Good morning." Tian Xiaoxiao will take the initiative to greet every employee of the company, with a faint smile, but that is just pure politeness.

No one knows why the eyes of real people are always as clear as the eyes in front of the camera, as if there is always a fog.

"You look great today, this new dress suits you perfectly." Tian Xiaoxiao will praise the newly bought skirts of her subordinate female employees, but she never seems to be kind enough, always with a touch of alienation.

The company still has a lot of things to deal with, but there is one thing that makes Tian Xiaoxiao stunned.

A photographer named Martin died, but the cover negative left for Tian Xiaoxiao's magazine "Loser" was missing, and Tian Xiaoxiao and his subordinates searched for a long time but could not find the negative.

It wasn't until Tian Xiaoxiao saw the photographer Martin's travelogue in the bookstore that she couldn't help but buy it.

It turned out that this photographer Martin actually wanted to be an explorer the most, and later learned photography from his family, and later became a photographer who took pictures while exploring.

Tian Xiaoxiao flipped the last page and wrote: "As long as one person goes to three places, then he can photograph the true meaning of life." ”

Tian Xiaoxiao always feels that this section is very similar to a movie "Daydreamer", which is also about traveling and finding the true meaning of life.

Tian Xiaoxiao suddenly had a bold idea, she decided to find the true meaning of life like Walter, the hero of "Daydreamer", what is the true meaning of life for Tian Xiaoxiao?

The first stop was the Northern Lights in Norway.

Tian Xiaoxiao remembered that she had been here with Sun.

The deep blue sky shimmered with silver stars, and several colored rays of light were red, green, and blue, and they intertwined into a beautiful light, complementing the snowy ground below.

Tian Xiaoxiao sat on the sled dog and took the camera to take pictures of the current scene, there are some things that need to be recorded with the camera.

He took out a small notebook and wrote:

Patches of stars swayed in the almost gradual sky, and the light fell on the sky, as if frozen for a second, and the aurora here was as beautiful as the last time I saw it.

I love it, it's what I see in my dreams.

The true meaning of life is fleeting beauty, but unfortunately it is too short, I can't help but want to grasp it, but I can't catch it.

Tian Xiaoxiao went to visit the hotel, but found that the hotel had long been closed and changed to a late-night canteen, and I heard that the former innkeeper Lingche embarked on a journey to find the aurora, because there was no aurora in Norway for a while.

Some people came, some people scattered, intertwined into a landscape of sighs and sighs.

Next stop: Notre Dame Cathedral.

Once upon a time, I knew something about Notre Dame Cathedral in Hugo's "Les Miserables", and I remember the bell tower monster Quasimodo, a deformed child abandoned by his parents in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, a thin hunchback, kind-hearted but ugly and deaf bell tower monster.

Quasimodo was in love with Esmeralda, but he didn't dare to tell her, and then he lost the girl he loved, and eventually his beloved bell tower.

On April 15, 2019, a fire burned down Notre Dame Cathedral in France.

It was as if what she saw in front of Tian Xiaoxiao was that brick by brick was being rebuilt, and she hadn't had time to see the original appearance of Notre Dame Cathedral.

How......

Tian Xiaoxiao took out her camera to capture that scene, and then took out a small notebook.

She writes:

It's long gone from the original amazement in the pictures, only the building is being rebuilt, and I still look forward to its rebirth, and I hope that the next time I come here, I can see it in real life.

The true meaning of life seems to be to rebuild after destruction, and never give up again and again.

One last place.

Back to where we started.

Tian Xiaoxiao once again came to the home where she had lived with her mother, and she was still standing outside the door and watching.

But I don't know what is worth recording, but an old man who pedals three wheels passed by and let Tian Xiaoxiao know what to shoot, Tian Xiaoxiao took out the camera and took a picture of the smiling face of the uncle staring at the three-wheeled and his granddaughter behind the tricycle.

Tian Xiaoxiao took out a notebook of travel notes and wrote on it:

I saw a very thin old man, and his lovely granddaughter, and the granddaughter laughed and the old man laughed along.

It makes me feel that the true meaning of life is that ordinary is true.

However, Tian Xiaoxiao still couldn't find the photo she was looking for, so what is the meaning of photographer Martin's life?

A phone call from the manager came, "Q Dong, the negative has been found." ”

Later, the magazine was published, and the cover was actually Tian Xiaoxiao.

Martin recorded with the camera that Tian Xiaoxiao was wearing unkempt pants and an old man's vest, she was holding a thick stack, walking forward while walking, the mobile phone holder was on her shoulder and her head was against it, and she was holding a cigarette in her hand, which was a pack of inferior cigarettes for five yuan, obviously smiling at the corners of her mouth, but there were tears in her eyes that were as clear as crystal.

That was after Tian Xiaoxiao learned that her mother had died, but she still had to work hard to live and get out of her small shell.