Mu Dian was unable to refute it.

She said many things that hurt Chang Qianfo, all in order to push him away, but they were not true.

Chang Qianfo's voice was soft, and it was a soft and lowered request: "Dian Ke, can you tell me what is in your heart?" Talk about you and Jin Yanchen, and you will treat me. ”

She always wraps herself in a hard shell. Even these days, she let go of herself, always revealing a soft and delicate side in front of him, but she was always separated by a layer of fog, and she couldn't see it really in a fog.

He has always trusted himself, but this time, he has some gains and losses.

He was met with Mu Dianke's silence.

The long, seemingly endless, silence consumed the enthusiasm and hope of Chang Qianfo, as well as Mu Dianke's restraint and patience.

She finally spoke softly.

"When I was very young, I knew I wanted to marry him when I grew up. He ...... to me Very good. ”

She thought for a moment and said, "It's a very good kind." ”

Even after so many years, she can no longer superimpose Jin Yanchen with the spring breeze boy in her memory, she is still grateful for the kindness he once treated her, and she can't erase it with one stroke.

"The elders of both families are willing to put me with him. I myself would like to follow him.

So at that time, I spent more than half of my time in the Jin family, and I was with him.

I thought I'd live like this for the rest of my life.

Later, something happened to the Jin family, and I was also expelled from Luoyang by Mu Cangping and exiled to Xiliang.

He found me in Xiliang and took me back to the Ming Palace, where he still treated me very well.

But my fourth aunt didn't like me, so he slowly distanced himself from me.

Later, he became more and more bad towards me, avoiding me like a plague. I've been sad and tried to keep it, but to no avail.

Later, I got tired of it, so I thought about leaving.

I've run away three times.

The first time, he sent someone to arrest me and detained me for half a month. Then he released me and sent his maid Funen to keep me in the watch.

The second time was when Fu Nian let me go, and he killed Fu Nian. Except for Zhaoyang and Zhaohui, he didn't leave any of the people who served around me.

I had to go back again.

Then I escaped again. After settling down the people around me, I walked through the desert alone to the Western Regions, wanting to find the culprit who poisoned the Jin family back then.

Later, I met my enemies in the desert, and I was caught in a hurricane while fighting. When I woke up, I found myself rescued by a caravan trafficking in silk.

I walked in the desert with the caravan for more than 20 days, and when I was about to leave the desert, I went back again.

Because I found that I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. Without his protection, I am like a lonely boat on the sea, a lonely camel in the desert, and it is difficult to even survive, let alone take revenge on my own.

Staying by his side, at least you don't have to worry about your livelihood, and there are people who can take advantage of it, which is better than fooling around without knowing anything......"

Her voice was calm, like a deep lake with no wind or waves, and the waves were not exciting.

But Chang Qianfo was distressed when he heard it.

How much pain does a seventeen-year-old girl have to go through to be able to tell such a cruel past in such a calm tone.

He still remembers that when Su Yi was ten years old, he once ran alone to Kun Mountain behind Changjiabao to collect medicine, but got lost in the mountains. When he found Suyi, it was almost dark, and he looked at her panicked and helpless appearance, and her lips that were dry and peeled from dehydration, and he felt that his heart was about to break.

Su Yi was only trapped in the back mountains for one day, while Mu Dianke walked in the desert for more than twenty days.

He couldn't imagine what kind of desperate and lonely mood she had, trudging through the reckless yellow sand under the scorching sun.

He stretched out his hand and hugged her into his arms, his voice low and full of pain: "Dian Ke, you still have me." Without his protection, I can protect you. ”

Mu Dianke shook his head slightly: "Actually, the first time I saw you on Luoxia Street, I noticed you."

You stand in the crowd, and you are so eye-catching, like the light of the sun, no matter how you hide it, you can't hide it.

That's when I knew we weren't the same.

You are the pride of the sky, born destined to walk in the sun, hang the pot to help the world, and accept the admiration of all the world.

And I'm just a demon witch with bloody hands. A body of murder is not tolerated in the world.

You shouldn't let yourself be contaminated with the smell of rivers and lakes for my sake. ”

Chang Qianfo said: "I'm not as good as you think, and I've also killed people." Dian Ke, I'm a man first, then a doctor. If I can't even protect the person I want to protect the most, how can I help the world and help others? ”

He finally asked, "Dian Ke, do you love me?" Just like you once loved Jin Yanchen and want to be with him for the rest of your life? ”

Mu Dianke said: "Do you still remember the words of Siwuzhai? Rain's 'rain lives in the clouds, and the water falls to the rocks to see the sky'? ”

Chang Qianfo said: "Remember." The shopkeeper of Siwuzhai said, "You always look at it, but you don't buy it." ”

Mu Dianke said softly: "I like that painting very much. ”

Her eyes looked at the void, as if she had nothing to send, and she was extremely helpless: "You are like the word in Siwuzhai, upright, open, what I yearn for, but what I am afraid of, what I can't hope for." ”

Chang Qianfo knew that Mu Dianke had been running away from herself, but she didn't know that she had such an inferiority complex. In addition to the distress, there was an uncontrollable excitement rising from the bottom of his heart, making his voice tremble a little, repeating her words again: "I am the ...... you yearn for"

He was embarrassed by himself, and he didn't know what to do with her in his arms, and muttered: "I know, I know." ”

took her hand and put it on her face: "Dian Ke, you look at me, you touch me, I am in front of you, you are within reach." ”

Mu Dianke gently rubbed Chang Qianfo's face, the corners of his lips were slightly curved into a smile, but his eyes were sad.

"Thousand Buddhas, I can't promise you anything. I don't know when that day will come. Three years, five years, or ten or twenty years? I didn't even know if I would make it to that day.

Even if that day were, so what? No matter how big Changjiabao is, it can't accommodate a little me after all. ”

She choked, looked at him, and two lines of tears flowed straight down: "A thousand Buddhas, people will not love only one person in their lifetime." Once, I also thought that Jin Yanchen was my heaven, and I couldn't live without him. I also thought that I would never love someone again in my life......

You will meet the girl you like again, you will want to be nice to her, and you want to take her back to Changjiabao to protect her for the rest of your life...... It's just that you don't tell her that you used to be kind to me, and she will be unhappy......"

She choked up and couldn't say more, don't turn her head, avoid his gaze, gritted her teeth, and said ruthlessly: "I, I will soon forget ......"

Before he finished speaking, there was a sudden darkness in front of him.

Chang Qianfo bowed her head sharply and sealed her lips with her mouth.

He pressed his face to her forehead, and his always gentle voice was stubborn, like an aggrieved child protesting: "I will not like any other girl again, and I will not allow you to forget me." ”