Since I was a child, I grew up surrounded by stars and moons, and I can say what I want.

Of course, I've worked hard since I was a kid to match my identity.

I want to learn everything, I want to be the best at everything, I want to be perfect.

I have no shortage of suitors, and they pursue me, perhaps because of my family background, maybe because of my appearance, or maybe some of them really like me.

But whatever it is, it doesn't matter to me, because I don't like them at all.

I know I've always been proud, and I deserve it.

The first time I saw Shen Bai was when I started my freshman year.

Shen Bai is a freshman like me.

Shen Bai was wearing a white shirt, his face was indifferent, and his eyebrows were picturesque.

I've seen a lot of people wear white shirts, and even some rich kids like to wear white shirts to hide their usual hearts, and I've always felt very hypocritical.

But Shen Bai gave me a clean and cold feeling.

At that moment, I admitted, my heart was moved.

Not only me, but I saw many girls around me blushing and peeking at Shen Bai.

I scoffed at this in my heart, disdainfully thinking that this kind of boy was only worthy of me, but I still had a cold look on my face.

Later, I asked people to investigate Shen Bai, and Shen Bai was really good, and even faintly gave me a feeling that even I was not worthy of Shen Bai.

How is this possible!

I've always been proud, and I can't bear to think like that.

So I worked harder.

I admit that maybe at first I liked Shen Bai just because of his appearance and his excellence, but as a year passed, I really liked Shen Bai.

In this year, many girls confessed to Shen Bai, but I didn't care at all, because I knew that Shen Bai would not agree to them, and they were not worthy of Shen Bai.

But in the past year, Shen Bai and I have hardly had any intersection.

In the summer vacation of my freshman year, my longing for Shen Bai reached its peak, and I never knew that liking someone would be so torturous.

On the eve of the start of my sophomore year, I had a faint thought in my heart that it would be too late if I didn't confess.

I don't know why I think this way, but it got stronger and stronger in my head, and finally I decided to confess.

Years of self-confidence made me feel that Shen Bai would not refuse me, but he still refused.

Strangely, I wasn't surprised.

But on the same day, there was news that Shen Bai and a girl were walking together.

Some people even said that Shen Bai rejected me for the sake of that girl.

How can I, who has always been proud, accept this.

So I had the girl look into her.

That girl was just an ordinary person, and she even dropped out of high school in her first year, and of course the girl in the information started going to school again, but I didn't take it seriously.

How could Shen Bai fall in love with this kind of girl, how could this kind of girl be worthy of Shen Bai!

It makes me feel ridiculous!

A strong unwillingness grows in my heart.

So after I learned that Shen Bai participated in a project, I also participated.

And the first time I asked for someone, Shen Bai's counselor promised to help me.

But that night, Shen Bai left expressionlessly in the commotion, and I knew that Shen Bai was angry, even if Shen Bai didn't say anything.

After Shen Bai left, I felt extremely embarrassed and couldn't stay for a second.

So I left.

My steps were fast, as if I wanted to escape from this place, but it was more like I wanted to catch up with Shen Bai's pace, even if I didn't want to admit it in my heart.

I did catch up with Shen Bai, but I saw Shen Bai holding a girl in his arms.

Even in the dark night, I could see the anger on Shen Bai's face and who the girl he was holding was.

At that moment, I didn't know what I was feeling in my heart.

Anger, unwillingness, and even a subtle sourness.

All kinds of mixed emotions were intertwined, and I made that decision for the first time.

I want to make that girl feel inferiority complex and let her take the initiative to leave Shen Bai.

However, things have gone wrong.

The girl did not have an inferiority complex as I imagined, but looked at me with an indifferent look that was almost as cold as Shen Bai, and even very arrogant.

She even said, "You're so pathetic. ”

Me, pathetic?

I was so angry and I thought it was ridiculous that it was the first time someone had spoken to me like that.

But I never forgot it.

Later, when I saw Yi Qi's college entrance examination scores, I felt a sense of humiliation and jealousy.

Growing up, only others were jealous of me, and I have never been jealous of others.

Because they don't deserve it.

Can ...... now

I didn't feel angry, on the contrary, I was at peace.

I remembered what Izuku had said to me again.

Then, I made a decision to study abroad.

My father had mentioned several times that I would study abroad and that studying abroad would be better for my development, and if it was before going to university, I knew I would not hesitate to agree.

But I hesitated.

What hesitation represents, even if I don't want to admit it, I know it in my heart.

And now, I've decided to study abroad, and I admit that I may have been trying to escape, and of course for my future, but for sure, I knew I had decided to give up.

The word renunciation came up for the first time in my life, but now I dare to admit that I am still proud of others.

Actually, I didn't think about fighting for it again, but I know my character, I have my pride, and I won't accept a guy who has been with another girl, no matter how good he is.

Of course, it's impossible for me to put down my body and approach a guy again and again.

But, Shen Bai, I wish you and her eternal happiness.