Chapter 63: I'm Not Worthy
As long as you want,
Every day is the best day.
-Dream-
Jiang He blocked this simple sentence in his heart for a long time, and he was not happy at all after saying it, and he had to pay attention to Wang Menglai's expression to see if she would beat herself. It's good that it's not.
After all the words are spoken, what kind of cold wind is still blowing here?
So he pushed her away, "You go back, it's cold." ”
"You can go back too."
Wang Menglai walked towards his home, also urging him to go.
He smiled and said, "I see you go back and go." ”
Although I was dissatisfied with her in my heart, I still treated her like before at this time.
A simple sentence gave her a lot of comfort in her heart. It's huge. Inexplicably, her eyes were a little moist, and she hurriedly turned around and locked the door.
Walking through the dark corridor, I didn't turn on the lights, for fear of affecting Wang Mengling's sleep. Wang Mengling has been studying hard at night recently, perhaps because there are more and more excellent people around her, so she feels oppressed and begins to work harder. Although Wang Mengling didn't say it, she understood.
I watched the light on the opposite side go out before I fell asleep.
It is said that the last time I dreamed of Jiang He, I was half angry with myself, and this time I dreamed again. It's so angry, it's really angry. When I woke up, I saw that he was still angry. I don't like it.
So the next day, Jiang He was inexplicably indifferent.
This indifference happened to be the main reason for her betrayal.
One sunny morning, Jiang He was called by others to comfort the sixth little sister, and when he came back, Jiang He's eyes were full of disgust and disgust when he looked at her. Jiang He was in a state of wanting to have a showdown with her all morning, but he endured it until school in the evening.
It so happened that something unpleasant happened again in the afternoon, and this time Jiang He did not tolerate her indifference anymore. So the quarrel is on the verge of breaking out.
Wang Menglai actually guessed some of his reasoning, but it was her indifference and insistence. Indifference, after all, everyone doesn't like her indifference. Insisting on going his own way is Jin Yaohua's business. But Jin Yaohua himself doesn't hate her.
Wang Menglai guessed wrongly how much Jiang He cared about that little sister.
As soon as she got home in the afternoon, Jiang He pulled her to talk behind her home. His expression was so cold, not only did he learn Wang Menglai's indifference, but also got tired and hated on this basis, and even faintly had some hatred. Wang Menglai is smart, how can he not understand.
There was a small hill behind the house, and they were standing behind it.
Jiang He stared at her, wanting to scold but couldn't bear it, that tangled appearance made Wang Menglai very uncomfortable. He sighed all the time, lamenting his own incompetence.
Why can't you bear to face her? It's clear that she did something wrong. Why does she always look lonely and proud? It's boring.
"What's wrong with that little girl?" She asked.
He sneered and asked, "Didn't you count it in your heart?" ”
It seemed that there was a sharp knife in her eyes and heart, and Wang Menglai felt a deep hostility.
The blade had already pierced into his heart, and Wang Menglai knew that he didn't trust himself anymore, so he asked directly
"Do you hate me?"
He sneered again, and the malice in his body could not be concealed at all. sneered several times in a row, watching her wait patiently before finally speaking, "Jin Yaohua is so good to you, how did you repay him?" Are you a serpent? I thought I could change you, but I didn't expect you to bite me. ”
Wang Menglai's heart instantly cooled, recalling several changes in him, she also smiled, "How can people become so fast?" ”
Jiang He carefully looked at the calmness on her face, and his smile suddenly became bitter, "Yes, how can people become so fast." ”
She said, "You misunderstood me. This is the first time, Jianghe, I endured it. Don't have another line? Give yourself some way out. ”
"How can you be so cold-blooded? What's the use of studying well? Nobody likes you. Look at Wang Mengling, she has a good learning personality and a gentle and kind person, you look at you again, you are full of thorns, indifferent and withdrawn. ”
His tone was so fierce that her eyes were sour. He disliked her from the bottom of his heart.
Wang Menglai has always been unable to resist such a comparison, and that person is still Jianghe, she hurriedly interrupted, "Do you have to compare like this?" ”
"Yes!" Jiang He seemed to be deliberately stimulating her, so he said heavily, "What else is it better than?" What else do you have to offer? ”
She sighed and said, "Don't make a fuss. ”
"I didn't make a fuss. Wang Menglai, you are too indifferent. I can't warm you. Jiang He said.
"If we can't go back, then," she looked at the unfamiliar river, stunned for a moment, and the following words were all blocked in her throat, and she couldn't bear to say them from the bottom of her heart.
But the river was directly broken, and it was easy to say, "We are not suitable to be friends in the first place." And we don't even have the past, where did we come from? ”
At this moment, she didn't want to say anything more, just these simple ten words, every word pierced the softest place in her heart.
He said everything to this, Wang Menglai still looked calm, and he couldn't help asking, "Don't you have anything to say?" ”
"You've said all the cruel things, what else can I say?" She laughed, her heart desolate.
Silent, the relationship gradually became stranger.
"You're far away from me." He said.
As if pleading, his mood suddenly dropped.
I regretted a little bit the moment I blurted out the words, but if you think about it, it's still like this.
Then she said, "I'm not tied to you." If you want to go, go quietly. ”
Wang Menglai is more ruthless than him. Don't say anything about the heart like a knife, it's all fake. At this moment, since Jiang He felt that it was a pain to get along with her, there was no need to force it. Fate should be broken, and she is not afraid of one more disappointment.
Maybe that's the best ending.
She thought that maybe Jiang He was just angry, so she was irrational for a while, but who would have thought that he would say so harshly, and every sentence would be poked in her heart. She felt like she had tolerated enough.
What churns up before being sad is indifference, which is a way for her to protect herself. There's nothing wrong with that. Wrong, not suitable.
A sharp knife cut Jiang He's heart, he said so much to make her change, but obviously it didn't work, so what should I do?
Let's end it.
Every word you say to me, there are swords and swords behind you, who is better than whom?
Wang Menglai's eyes gradually dimmed, and the kind of indifference that would make people subconsciously stay away filled her whole body. Seeing that Jiang He didn't speak for a long time, she didn't want to stay here, so she turned around and left. When I walked into the alley, I stopped because I heard him.
"Wang Menglai," he just wanted to call her name one last time and see how she reacted.
She didn't move, she stiffened, and she didn't plan to look back. It didn't make him look uncomfortable at all.
"Do you regret what you did?" He asked.
Wang Menglai smiled bitterly, in the blink of an eye, two lines of tears.
"It's my responsibility, and I won't shirk it," she said. Jianghe, you should trust me once in a while. ”
Misunderstanding this kind of plot is already a bad stalk, but when it comes in turns, she still can't stand it.
She had done nothing wrong, but it was as if her sin was unforgivable. This is what Jianghe gave her.
"I believe in you." He said.
The feeling of hot tears sliding down his face was felt again after a few years.
Judging from his performance just now, Wang Menglai would no longer be moved by his words.
She said, "Don't just promise, just do what you say." Trust is gone. "She is talking about the river, and it is the river that has no trust in her. She's on him, always have.
Jiang He listened to her now, and his mind was empty.
Once people are prejudiced, they will be stubborn. No matter what Wang Menglai said.
"Are you really greedy for vanity?"
Unfamiliar words continued to cross her cold heart, and then Wang Menglai's tears surged up wildly.
Jiang He didn't take a step towards her, didn't want to see her face.
Actually, he didn't mean to ask this question, but it wasn't a good time.
He wanted to hear 'really'.
Because Jiang He has never revealed his family background, if Wang Menglai is really a greedy and vain person, then he is better than Huang Huaiyou. On the first day the rumors came out, he secretly inquired.
Saying that you believe, but you can ask this kind of question, is it believing? They all doubt her character. Isn't it enough for him to understand himself for so many days of getting along as if they were fake? I don't even have that confidence.
How did Wang Menglai have the courage to answer, and in what mood he listened to his complaints.
"How is Huang Huaiyou?" He asked.
With tears in her eyes, she replied with a smile, "gentle and humble, polite, just right for jokes, knowing how to be measured, helpful, cheerful and generous"
As she spoke, she remembered him who had been so hot and warm as she had been. He had said with a cautious look that he was afraid that he would be angry, but as a result, distrust hurt more than anger, and almost destroyed all her happiness. That's the little bit she's been building up for a long time. Although he longs for warmth, he is more afraid of being hurt, so he cringes whether he gives or retracts. When the sun is too hot, what you get is ashes, and you can't hold them, and the ashes that fly away when the wind blows, and finally catch a loneliness.
"Okay, I got it." In her mouth, Huang Huaiyou is incomparably good.
He interrupted in a hurry, unable to listen any longer. One more word of listening will not be able to face tomorrow. Because tomorrow Wang Menglai will continue to talk to Huang Huaiyou. So I had a chill in my heart.
Wang Menglai had a great grievance in her heart, but she left without saying a word, without even choking once, and didn't let him hear that something was wrong.
Walking through this alley was the beginning of their hostility, and they knew each other well. But she didn't stop, and he didn't stop. Perhaps these two people are inherently hostile. It really doesn't fit.
The trust she gave was crushed and sent back, and the warmth he sent was blown cold and thrown away.
It's all wrong, but no one notices.
It's good that they don't notice it, but someone does.
Wang Zhishu was sleeping in the house, listening to the familiar voice outside the window, he couldn't sleep, the more he listened, the more wrong he became, and he knew that there was a conflict between the two children halfway through it. Waiting for Wang Menglai to take the initiative to tell them that it was impossible, the child had always wanted to repay their old couple, how could they worry, besides, Jiang He was still their grandson, so he must be able to endure it.
When she heard Jiang He's mouth say, 'Do you really love vanity?', she was angry in her heart, and her eyes were blurry. At that moment, she was extremely distressed Wang Menglai, the crack between them must have appeared for a long time, and she had already noticed it from the beginning of her appearance, watching him slowly become stranger, her heart became colder and colder. It is rare for Wang Menglai to be able to give trust, and he still doesn't cherish it.
The palms and backs of his hands are full of meat, and Wang Zhishu still prefers Wang Meng. If Wang Menglai is not a girl who is the head of the ninja, then she will definitely not blame Jiang He.
But he had already blamed Jiang He last time, and he didn't listen to his own words, so this time he still asked Cheng Dali to persuade him. But Cheng Dali was reluctant to come forward
"That's the children's business, what do you care so much about? They still need to run in, and Jiang He has too many thorns on his body. ”
Just now, Jiang He asked Menglai if she really loves vanity, Menglai has been working hard to be a gentleman, which is a great insult! How sad must she be? ”
"I can't bear the wolf. Sooner or later, she had to take this step, and she couldn't run away from it because she was afraid. You have to learn to be on your own. People have social attributes, and she can't live in her own world all her life. ”
"Alas!"
"You should not know about the children, and let them go. There's really no way to take care of it. Jianghe is not stupid, he can understand. ”
The river behind the hillside is on the verge of getting out of control, but there is no way to take Wang Menglai. That time he said that he was afraid that she would be angry and he never lost his temper with her again, but now he is really uncomfortable and entangled.
He hadn't struggled so much since he was a child. There's really no way to take her. If she really loves vanity, as long as she says it, he can give her a lot, more than Huang Huaiyou can give, but she just doesn't say it. And my grandparents like her so much, how sad would it be to know that she is such a person?
Although there are a lot of people in the school who don't like her, it's nothing, you don't like me to hide, but it seems that she won't be happy to go with him.
Who wants to believe that such a clean and lovely girl is such a person? He didn't want to.
The pain is unbearable, the pain is unbearable!
Wang Menglai, Wang Menglai, what should I do with you?
Can you not always be silent, as long as you say no, I can block all the gossip for you.
But why don't you speak?
He couldn't think of a reason, and he had to stop and dwell on it after taking a few steps. It's hard to guess what a girl thinks! If he believed in his heart that Wang Menglai was that kind of person, he would naturally be unwilling, but the reality was laid out naked.
After a few entanglements, he was just fated to see those tears on the ground. The dripping on the dry cement is not very obvious, but the shape can still be faintly seen. There are several drops, and by the way, a few weeds are nourished.
Jiang He didn't want to believe that these were her tears, because how could a girl who had always been strong cry because of these things? It's impossible to think about. When her parents quarreled, they were just uncomfortable, hiding under the quilt, their eyes were not red and their noses were not sour, and they were even stranger.
Is he worthy?
As far as his understanding of Wang Menglai these days is concerned,
He doesn't deserve it.
。
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