It's as if it just needs an outlet out.

Ai Xiaoxi didn't care about my slow reply, but took care of herself, sending me a message and talking about her past experience.

"I'm an illegitimate daughter."

"From the day he was born, he never received any news from his mother about his father."

"I live with my mother in an old alley in Shanghai, and the wisteria trellises are built on the mottled old walls, but I never seem to have seen wisteria flowers bloom in my memory."

"Until I was 14 years old, I walked through the alleys with my head down, enduring the fingering behind my back."

"When I was 16 years old, I met an old man, I forgot how I knew him, but I remember his hand caressing my cold face for the first time."

"It was the first time someone touched me gently, and I don't know why, but I seem to have decided to follow him."

"I followed him, I went to play billiards, I went to drink, I went to the depths of the dimly lit alley to buy that little packet of powder, I didn't know what it was, but then I knew."

"I was actually very scared, he chased me several times, but he couldn't get rid of me. It's not that I don't understand that this old man is actually a decadent guy who has lost his life, but in my heart, that warm touch is more important than anything else. ”

"After a fan smoke, he forcibly asked for me."

"I felt like my whole body was being ripped apart, and I was scared all of a sudden, desperately trying to escape from his onslaught, and the sheets were wet, with tears and blood."

"This time it completely ruined me. When I woke up, he was gone. ”

"I tried self-harm, and then I became obsessed with the pain of cutting my wrists with a blade."

"Then I vowed to stay away from it all, so in the last two years of high school, I studied hard and left Shanghai. When I was about to graduate from college, I met Su Junjie. ”

"I thought I had found my true destiny, but unfortunately the bubble would burst after all, but I didn't expect him to have a wife and children."

"Am I a slut, you say?"

Looking at the text messages on my phone, I seemed to see Ai Xiaoxi on the other end of the phone, crying alone.

I didn't expect her experience to be so miserable.

I thought she was just a rebellious girl, from a wealthy family, spoiled like a princess all day long, lacking life experience, so she would do things impulsively and without consideration.

I didn't think about it, but it was the opposite.

I was on my phone, slowly typing away the reply to her.

"Konishi, people often have doubts, is the world a little unkind to themselves?

So there will be escape, there will be anesthesia, there will be pain......

But you have to know that every card in front of you has two sides.

Without that old man, there would be no you who are desperately trying to escape from the past now;

Without Su Junjie, there would be no you who discovered your true nature and wanted to prove yourself in the hope of being a studio;

You know, there is so much beauty in this world......

The morning sun, the evening breeze now, the sweet milk tea, the blessing of a stranger......

These beautiful moments will live on in your life.

Including the guy who will love you in the future.

So, don't be fooled by the darkness in front of you.

You have to believe that you are worthy of all the good things in this world. ”

I hesitated for a long time on the "send" button before clicking lightly.

Today, I officially know Ai Xiaoxi, right?

Maybe it's because I'm a stranger, so she can tell me the secrets in her heart unscrupulously.

It's like a tree hole.

After the secret is finished, no one knows.

I turned off my phone.

I don't think she'll reply to my message.

She has finished pouring out the anguish in her heart, and the rest will be left to a peaceful sleep.

Good dreams, Ai Xiaoxi.

Good dreams, Chen Yiyao.

I looked at Chen Yiyao, who was sleeping lightly, and sadness couldn't help but spread in my heart.

I turned my head and looked out the window at the stars and moon hanging in the sky.

They are so close, yet so far away.

I suddenly realized a problem.

A question that I have been subconsciously avoiding and dare not face-

I don't know anything about Chen Yiyao's life for more than ten years!

Now she is like the most beautiful moon in the sky.

And I, on the other hand, am a faint star.

For the past few days, I have been immersed in a false impulse and passion.

I don't even know if Chen Yiyao is married or has children......

I don't even know what she does now.

She has been abroad for more than ten years, and after returning to China, the intimacy with me in the past few days is really as sincere as ever, or is it because I gave her enough comfort when she was most lonely, so that she ......

We became hedgehogs to keep each other warm?

When I closed my eyes, my world began to crumble and fall, and endless darkness enveloped me.

It made me more and more frightened and tried to escape.

I don't know how long I closed my eyes until her voice rang in my ears.

I opened my eyes, and Chen Yiyao looked at me with a smile.

"Are you asleep too?" She asked.

"No...... Just a little tired. I said, "You slept soundly." ”

"Well, just close your eyes for a while, and you feel refreshed." She stretched slightly, "You seem to have something on your mind?" ”

I was silent for a long time before I decided to ask her: "Chen Yiyao, did you ...... Why did you leave? ”

She was stunned for a moment, as if she didn't expect me to ask her this question, and her expression was a little surprised.

The smile slowly faded from her face, and she just looked at me quietly, while my mood became tense.

"Why do you ask this?" She said leisurely, "It's been all these years......

"This should be a ......knot in my heart," I said, "I just wanted to see if I could untie it." ”

Her expression was a little dazed: "If I say that it is because of my mother's body, do you believe it or not?" ”

I shook my head.

She sighed, was quiet for a moment, and shook her head.

"Forget it, it's been so long, there's no point in talking about it now." She sighed, "You're not trying to ask me that, are you?" ”

Chen Yiyao, are you a roundworm in my stomach?

I struggled for a long time, but I decided to ask her, "I actually ...... Particularly...... Exceptional......

I've been special several times, and I haven't said anything special.

"You especially want to know how I've come here for so many years?" She asked me.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and nodded: "Chen Yiyao, when I close my eyes in the past two days, I feel that you are me, and I am you." It's so addictive, but it's so unreal......"

"Hmm...... I understand ......."

"I especially want to know your life, you ......" I plucked up my courage and looked her in the eye, "I don't know, if you are married, if you have children, if you have your own life, if you have stayed abroad, and never want to come back...... I don't know anything...... I want to know, but I'm afraid to know ......."

She had been quiet all the time, as if she had known that I was going to say these words, and just listened to me quietly.

"Ah Chen......" She didn't answer directly, but asked me, "Do you want me to stay?" ”

"I don't want to." I replied categorically without hesitation.

I've been mentally building up for a long time, and I'm very resolute about her departure.

Because I'm not sure what Brother Mazi is going to do.

He will even find someone to kill Xu Dapeng in prison, who knows if he will do something crazy......

Chen Yiyao stared at me for a long time, and I stuck to my guard and looked at her.

"yes, I see." She looked away first, "Then you think it won't be misleading to me to ask me these questions now?" I probably don't want to go. ”

"Okay...... though I held on to my guard, I didn't take the last soft gun, "as if I didn't ask anything." ”

Her expression seemed to darken.

I regretted that I couldn't resist asking her those questions.

I have a lot of questions of my own......

"It's late, I'm a little tired and want to go back to the hotel." She said.

"Well, I'll send you." I'm ready to get up.

"No, Ah Chen, I'll go by myself." She stopped me, "Otherwise, I don't know if I'll make up my mind to leave ......"