【0302】

I started posting online in 2010. Ten years of net purification, I have already tossed me so much that I can't move. When you guess again and again which word is forbidden and repeatedly delete it for access, love and dignity are worn away day by day. Those tortuous metaphors, substitutions, and borrowings have unconsciously become my habits and become part of my creation. By the time I found out, censorship had reshaped me. The wall is within the skeleton of my story. Anger is in my soul.

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【0303】

The two days have been a bit of a big hit. Probably the natural and man-made disasters in reality superimposed on the sense of mental isolation, finally a little overloaded. Walking on the road, I felt a throbbing pain in my chest, and I couldn't lift my shoulders.

Yesterday I said that the wall is in my skeleton, which sounds very negative, but it is not exactly negative. It is not only the wall that has left a deep imprint on me, but also the consciousness of rebellion and the unstoppable thinking about it. It may prevent me from being another lighter and freer person, but it also gives me a part of my essence. I have a painful face in the mirror, but I also have bright eyes. I don't dislike her. Friends, we are fossils in the shadow of history, and we are also the ladder to the future, and we hold power in the palms of our weathered hands.

I'm not desperate. Or rather, despair when I wrote the first line ten minutes ago. But the words were like a layer of filter paper blocking the overly dark parts, leading me in the direction of a glimmer of light. Something like this happened all the time, like a topless rapid, lifting me up to the gentle rippling surface of the water again and again. Sometimes I blame it, thinking it's acquired inertia that prevents my sharp instincts. Sometimes, like this moment, I think that communication is beneficial, and that creation is indeed a kind of salvation.

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【0311】

Can't sleep. I would like to share with you some of my feelings about writing a long-form original card recently.

It is now customary to divide each chapter into paragraphs, and each paragraph is responsible for a certain plot. But this plot is often only a few numbers, and it means that one thing happens. Specifically, we have to write and think about it again.

When I can't write a preset paragraph, I often remind myself: I can't write because there are no details, there are no details because there are no characters, and there are no characters because there is no story. Think about it in this order, and you can fill the branches and fill in more content until the paragraph is filled.

No details of course means all kinds of details, and this key line is something I have in my outline. I'm going to say this, how to say it, how the other party responds, whether it's raining in the background.

If I don't know how this person is going to say this, it means that I don't understand the character enough, and I don't understand what way of expression is most effective for him, and what details can best set off the atmosphere at the moment. What seemingly unrelated accident can bring back memories for him. Some of my fleeting supporting characters have had a life experience in this thought process. Because I found myself needing to enrich the details of their actions.

No story means that complex characters can't appear out of thin air, and their lives need context. And these backgrounds can be intertwined. If I can't think of enough rich characters, it could be that there are too few things going on in the land. If there is a major event in the local area, it can create countless groups affected by it. Their outlook on life is thus different, showing different attitudes when the protagonist mentions specific events. According to this line of thinking, I started the plot of "a group of robbers blocking the road" in the outline, and made up a major case that affected the whole country fifteen years ago, and also derived several incidents involving the main characters (. Although it is hardly reflected in this storyline (.

It's certainly not the most efficient thing to do! But it helped me overcome the emptiness of the narrative and the boredom that comes with it, which haunts me when I write a text that has nothing to say. And if there is something hidden in this seemingly bland sentence, a sense of accomplishment arises spontaneously. This may seem complicated, but if you read more material, you can get twice the result with half the effort than if you meditate. No matter what type of material it is, as long as it's a story, it can inspire you.

That being said, there are times when I can't write about it. That is, you break down paragraphs into synopses, and synopsis into each sentence, until it's clear what you're going to say in each sentence, and still don't have enough motivation to organize them into the final sentence. It's like a firewood knife that cuts down bamboo and makes furniture, but cutting off the branches, filing off the spikes, and polishing them into handy utensils can only be done by grinding water. This process is the most tormenting part of me at this stage, because for me, when I have sorted out the plot, the motivation that attracted me to the story has disappeared. And the process of polishing them, the motivation required is presentation - and I really lack this will. To be honest, I'm a little scared if I see too many people. So I sit in front of the computer every day. The outline is written in two thousand words, and there are no three or five complete sentences.

Recently, I have been thinking about it, not only the presentation itself, but also the interest in language arts. This is certainly not to say the type of flowery, as said before, useless words only trigger boredom. I'm talking about the part of the use of language that engages you and gives you a sense of accomplishment...... Those of you who know me well will probably know that I've been struggling for years to be as plain as possible, and the process is like fighting with stones. Looking back at this moment, rediscovering the charm of language is a bit of a loss. Writing is too hard. I really want to eat Kung Pao Chicken.

#停灯向晓#故事写不出来感想倒有不少

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【0311】

There are two types of authors' dilemmas:

Write too much and think too little; Write too little and think too much.

#比如我#别骂了