I once spoke to the mountains, rivers and seas, and I never got a reply from afar, but I got ...... own unwilling voice.

— byAnlin Fish

（1）

June 1, 2031

Looking up at the sky in silence is one of my favorite movements, every time I look up and hang my head, all the sadness can pass. But this time, I saw dense raindrops woven diagonally into a net, netting Bochuan. I also saw that the overturned black ink rendered the rippling white of the sky into the rippling black. The pain hidden in my heart doesn't seem to have left.

Somehow, the boisterous voices just swirled in my ears.

I looked back and saw that the city was empty, as if I was the only one walking.

I turned my head slowly, my hair pressed against my face, perhaps my illusion - Zhang Qimeng's face appeared very clearly at the second intersection ahead.

I didn't speak, he didn't speak, I calmly curled the corners of my mouth at him, and he beckoned to me happily. I'm just standing around this corner.

In the rain, we looked at each other without saying a word, I moved, walked forward, and at the first intersection, I turned around with the most relieved smile I had at him.

If the story goes back to the beginning, I will believe that he is there.

Now that the story has come to an end, I won't believe it anymore.

He can only be regarded as a beautiful dream of mine now, and when he was still my hope, the memory left to me has been blurred.

If you want to ask me what I remember.

I still remember...... I attended his funeral and watched him be wheeled into the crematorium.

I still remember...... I received his inheritance, two suites, a piano, a computer......

I still remember...... He made the winter of 2030 very cold, and it was cold until June 2031.

I can still remember...... Maybe more, maybe not. Happy memories will be rendered by sadness, what I remember is mediocrity, and I can't remember it is a lifetime regret.

……

Then let's bother yourself.

……

After his shadow disappeared, I leaned against the wall around the corner and wiped the corners of my eyes, perhaps...... There were tears in the eyes, maybe not, just salty panic.

Crossing the road where there are no people, I can feel that our memories are there, but let me say that I can't say anything.

You can't keep the details of your memories, do you? Anyway, I didn't leave any details, but didn't I want to be a mediocre person?

Hula-hula-

The sound of the old locust tree leaves falling in love is very complicated. Its canopy swayed in the wind and rain, and the wind and rain overwhelmed the thick branch at the edge of the canopy, and the bean-sized raindrops hit my back and spread the chill like ripples, and I raised my arms and took a step back.

When it fell, I was not surprised, not afraid, but suddenly understood, I was shouting, shouting him, the ghost of him, like a discarded puppy, whimpering, all reluctant. He didn't show up, no.

I grinned and kicked the trunk of a tree, slapping myself in the face.

In this life, no one can be relied on, the backers will fall, everyone will run, and who can be relied on for a lifetime

Without him, I thought I wouldn't compromise in life, but I compromised, I compromised with everything around me.

I've always been very different, sometimes embarrassed and sad. I didn't have him to hold an umbrella for me on a rainy day, and I didn't wait for me to stop under the old locust tree on a sunny day, I was very insecure and lonely.

I want to hide under the covers, let the silence fill the lonely world, and maybe I can forget my fears.

I? Can I interpret it as homesickness?

Indeed, I feel homesick.

I saw the characteristic low buildings in the alleys of Bochuan.

The heat of the tears in my eyes contrasted with the cold of the rain hitting my body.

Family...... I'm going back soon.

（2）

Ah Jing sat in the passenger seat and held half a cigarette, while Wang Ai drove the car on the side.

Ah Jing is very charming, it is the kind of beauty that turns all beings upside down, she adjusted her sitting posture, and spit out a layer of smoke in an old-fashioned way.

The atmosphere in the car is subtle.

Ah Jing put out the cigarette butt of the small half cigarette in the ashtray of the car, hated Wang Ai's speed very much, and said in a bad tone: "You turtle hurry back and estimate that her body is cold." ”

Wang Ai sighed: "It's already very fast, okay, it's raining so hard and the highway is closed!" I guess I'm not going to have good luck this time, like last time...... How nice it would be."

"Grandson Wang, this is the excuse, I believe..."Saying that, Ah Jing took out another cigarette and put it in her mouth, looked around for a lighter, glanced at Wang Ai and turned over the mat to find the lighter in the crack: shook it in front of Wang Ai: "You hide deep enough." ”

Ah Jing pressed the button, and there were some sparks, but there was no fire, Ah Jing continued to press, and said: "You think about Zhang Qimeng, you must dislike your speed." ”

Wang Ai stepped on the accelerator deeply, saw Ah Jing lighting a cigarette, frowned, and freed up a hand to naturally smoke the cigarette in Ah Jing's mouth: "Girl, don't smoke so much!" ”

Ah Jing was not annoyed, and shook the window widely: "Cut ......"

Wang Ai made a turn in the car, and the watch lit up.

He stepped on the accelerator deeper, his finger joints were faintly white, and the whole person began to panic

looked at Yang Wenqian's quiet expression: "Cut what to cut, don't smoke until you die in front of the small fish"

Ah Jing frowned: "If Lao Tzu wants to die, he will also pull you as a backstop"

Wang Ai sighed and turned his head to look at Yang Wenqian.

He was tempted to tell her that she was back.

Yang Wenqian smoothed her hair: "Look at the road, we still have time, she won't die at home." We'll be able to get back. ”

"How do you know what I'm trying to say?"

Yang Wenqian snorted coldly: "The last time I saw you tinkering with the door, I just saw your bracelet light up." ”

Wang Aiwei smiled, she guessed right, and looked at the road

"I guess, she still has to take a shower, drink a drink, and then decorate the bedroom......" Saying, Yang Wenqian snatched the lighter, lit the cigarette, and asked Wang Ai with the cigarette: "Will she be like this?" Do everything with a sense of ceremony? ”

Wang Ai couldn't answer her, he saved An Linyu three times, but this time, he couldn't guarantee that he could catch up as before.

The air was wet and smelled of nicotine.

"Yes, definitely"

Wang Ai's expression gradually became solemn.

The rain outside the window is getting lighter

（3）

As soon as I entered the alley, the rain was light, and when I entered the gate, the rain was about to stop. My little white dress was dirty, and I looked at the glass room surrounded by flowers, and the grand piano didn't match the dirty dress.

The old bell at the gate shook lightly, the yard exuded the smell of earth, and on one side was another courtyard, which had just torn down the two walls that separated the two courtyards, and connected the two courtyards together.

The two courtyards did not belong to me before, but now they belong to me. Now the yard where I am is is left to me by Zhang Qimeng, and the yard next to me is left to me by my grandmother.

Both courtyards are full of memories.

I opened the door with my fingerprints, and the lock beeped for a long time.

I gently pulled the door open.

Zhang Qimeng opened the door and smiled slightly, and his appearance suddenly hit my brain.

How many years has that scene been with me? I forgot.

The Dutch poodle pounced on me and coquettishly slammed into my arms, and I came to my senses, patted my head, closed the door and walked straight to the kitchen.

It's an illusion, I said to myself.

I was very sick, unconscious, numb, fantasizing, unable to remember things...... These reactions have been disturbing my peaceful, backwatery life.

Push open the cupboard – take out the goblet.

Then boil a pot of hot water. Bubbles gurgled out of the spout.

It just so happened that there was still hot water in the water heater, so I took a hot shower, picked up my embarrassed self, and changed into the black dress that was placed in Zhang Qimeng's house.

I brought that dress not long ago, and it was drawn and designed by Zhang Qimeng himself, and I invited some famous tailors to make it.

Zhang Qimeng said, I am the most suitable for this dress.

Indeed, I am beautiful and have a better temperament.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I thought of Ah Jing. Ah Jing always said that I was too ritualistic, and I was always a beat slower than people (commonly known as urine), but I didn't agree with it, I just hated being embarrassed.

When you come out of the bathroom, you can still see the daylight.

I patted the crayon on the head, went into the kitchen, poured the freshly boiled water into the cup, the wall of the cup instantly condensed a layer of fog, took out a small paper bag from the cupboard, and poured the white powder full of paper into the cup.

The white goblet is filled with a mixture of white powder and water. I shook it slightly, letting it dissolve as much as I could, and walked out of the kitchen

A ray of sunshine sprinkled in my goblet.

I looked up at the cup, and the white powder at the bottom of the cup bubbled out of the water, like a dream, and woke me up from my lost thoughts.

The white powder is a sleeping pill, and I have been saving it up for the past few months, and I am afraid that it will be discovered, so I grind it into powder and hide it, intending to finish myself after everything is over.

I've done it all, congratulations! Maybe I'm still so cowardly, but I'm brave enough to break with them today.

I returned the humiliation and discomfort to the perpetrator, but I found an interesting phenomenon at the scene, who is the perpetrator?

My mom? My brother? Zhu Xi? Or those journalists? It seems that everyone is there, but no one seems to be at all.

If I want to complain, can I blame everyone? If I want to retaliate, can I take revenge on everyone?

No, I am my perpetrator, I can not blame anyone, and no one can retaliate.

I can't retaliate against anyone......

I'm so cowardly, so weak that no one dares to complain, or even make an excuse for myself to exonerate myself.

I stood in the living room, laughing at myself, pitying myself, hating myself, and finally raising my glass to the light outside the window that slowly pierced through the dark clouds, gently, gently, as if afraid to disturb the quiet present: "chee

s！ ”

Even if the voice is still soft, it finally breaks through the silence now

The dark red lipstick leaves a crimson mark on the wall of the cup. The liquid in the cup all flowed down my throat into my esophagus and into my stomach, where it was hot and ran down my stomach to dispel my chills.

I put the cup on the dining table and turned to go into the bedroom.

Somehow Crayon followed me, and I climbed onto the bed, lifted the covers, and closed my eyes.

Greedily sucking in the air.

Even the air is free and quiet, and soon, I'm going to indulge in this silence.

I stroked the crayon's hair, and the crayon purred comfortably.

With the passage of time.

The sun snapped the wings of the clouds and illuminated the blue, heart-warming sky.

And little by little my thoughts were confused, Zhang Qimeng appeared clearly in my world.

Little by little, gold fills the whole world.

The world in front of me seemed to be mosaic, blurred little by little, and the rich gold slowly turned black

He said that we must wander together......

I don't know if I can do it or not.

（4）

Dark, dark.

I saw a light in the darkness.

It is colored.

I let go of the hand that was pressing on my heart in the dark, and slowly opened my eyes, waiting for the sound of the spring breeze.

My youth he was not absent.

He didn't sit on my life.

He didn't dislike my world

I believe that he will not be absent from the final ceremony.

Because Zhang Qimeng never lies.

The tears hanging from the corners of his eyes floated upward, but they never ended.

It contains Zhang Qimeng.

At that time, I pushed his bulky wheelchair and stepped on his shadow, not so many big dreams, just hoping for a little happy seasoning in life.

Now, I want to wait for him to appear, and then just chase his shadow and say to him, I've grown up.

It contained Ah Jing.

At that time, we hooked our shoulders, held skewers in our hands, and laughed heartlessly.

What does she do? Now it is estimated that she bullied Wang Ai and then rushed home, she must be very uncomfortable, she is afraid of motion sickness.

It contains fruit and warmth.

That girl who loves to laugh.

Now she must be hiding in a corner and crying secretly.

The mouth must say sorry.

There are still a lot of people in the tears, grandparents sitting in the yard, dad who happily pushes open the door, mean mom and brother, Fu Youlu, and ...... Deeply sorry Zhao Doujiao and Yuan Xiuwen...

That's a lot of people!

"Ding Dong"

Tears spread out in circles of light

Scatter the shadow of Zhang Qimeng.

He came towards me in his wheelchair and stopped just an arm's length in front of me.

With a faint smile, he will always look like a humble gentleman.

"Little fry is so disobedient!"

His slender fingers slowly lowered them in front of me

I looked at Zhang Qimeng, stretched out my hand, and didn't shake Zhang Qimeng's hand

Zhang Qimeng was stunned, smiled and patted my head, leaned forward and held my hand, and violently escaped from the wheelchair.

A ray of sunlight pierced the darkness, and the surrounding area became the alley that I cherished the most.

In the small yard, my grandmother dried pickles, looked at me with a smile and waved her hand to me: "Go"

Zhang Qimeng took my hand and walked towards the end of the alley in the sun: "Let's go wandering..."

I held his hand firmly and followed him, and saw the sunset, the people I loved appeared one by one and were waving to me, and I was leaving them, towards the light...

（5）

Ah Jing got out of Wang Ai's car, Wang Ai didn't park the car, and jumped into the Bochuan alley with Ah Jing and opened the door of the house.

Nothing has changed at home.

Ah Jing instinctively followed the crayon's call to the door of An Linyu's room.

Pushing open the door, Crayon lay under An Linyu's hand and barked wildly.

An Linyu closed her eyes and looked out the window serenely, and the corners of her eyes were full of makeup.

Wang Ai was stunned.

Ah Jing walked towards An Linyu, sat down in front of An Linyu, held An Linyu's hand that had not cooled down, and the tears in her eyes knocked on the floor.

They were late, and she was already asleep...

Wang Ai wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes, slowly went over to cover An Linyu's face with the quilt, and his trembling fingers stopped under An Linyu's nose......