I was a member of a swim club, and we went swimming together on the weekends.

He's in good shape at this age, and he's a good swimmer.

I casually asked him, when did he learn to swim?

He also replied casually, saying that there was a small river in his hometown, and he would roll in the river when he was young, and swimming was pediatric for him.

Hearing his answer that day, a chill rushed down my spine on a hot day.

Yan Lina, in fact, I know her, when she was a student at the Academy of Fine Arts, she was a relatively famous model, and the teacher always praised her for her good figure.

It takes a lot of courage to be a woman who can be a mannequin in an art academy, and the courage to be a model is even more visible.

Later, I heard that she had found a backer and would never have to come out again.

When the teacher is in class, he sometimes regrets a few words, saying that such a model is rare to meet.

In fact, I recognized her the first time she came to Zhang Bai, and the two of them were arguing in the studio.

I realized that the backer she found was Zhang Bai.

I've been looking for an opportunity to ask Zhang Jianjun what happened to him and my aunt back then, so that he couldn't save his aunt who fell into the water?

Several attempts ended in failure, which frustrated me.

On the eve of the Mid-Autumn Festival, I went back to my hometown to see my grandmother and Yufei.

Yu Fei lives a very idle life in that kind of place where people are outstanding.

She said that since she went to the countryside, she took her medicine on time every day under the supervision of her grandmother, and the man in black rarely appeared in her world. Every day, I help my grandmother grow vegetables, raise chickens, and play with my grandmother's domestic dog Rhubarb, and my life is full and idle.

When I was in school, I used to write about things on and off, mostly bits and pieces between me and my aunt when I was a child.

Among them, the love affair between Zhang Jianjun and his aunt is written in rich and colorful colors, of course, literary works come from life and are higher than life. In that fruitless love story, I sublimated and glorified their previous love.

I named these things "My Aunt", in fact, my original intention is also very simple, I just want to write something to commemorate my dear aunt in heaven who is indelible in my memory.

I brought these fragmentary manuscripts back to Chunyang.

On the day of the Mid-Autumn Festival, Zhang Jianjun cooked several dishes, and I took a bottle of good wine out of the wine cabinet.

Originally, Zhang Jianjun didn't drink it, saying that it was not good for his health.

I just persuaded a few words, saying that during the Mid-Autumn Festival, the bright moon is in the sky, how can you be worthy of such a beautiful day without drinking two cups.

Unexpectedly, I don't usually see how he drinks, and the amount of alcohol is quite good.

A bottle of wine was almost at the bottom, and he didn't seem to be drunk.

Just when I thought it was hopeless to use wine to cover his words, he was really drunk, and it turned out that the alcohol was more energetic.

I first asked him what was the tattoo on the back of his neck?

He said that who has not been young and vigorous, and that tattoo means that he has also been young.

I repeated the old story and asked him who the girl in "The Girl on the Bamboo Row" was.

Although he was drunk and hazy, he was still very sensitive to the topic, and at first squeaked and refused to say it.

Then I had to guide him.

I said, "Is that girl your first girlfriend?" ”

His eyes were foggy, and he shook his head first, then nodded.

I said, "Is it or not, you haven't been married for so many years, is it because of her?" Where is she now? ”

He sat back in his chair, still silent.

I said, "If you don't make it clear, I'm sad, it seems that I am far less important to the girl in your heart." ”

His eyes became more and more hazy in the moonlight, and his mouth was choked.

"She, she's gone."

Of course I knew that the girl in the painting was gone, and I wanted to know why.

This time, I didn't ask, and he continued: "I hurt her, I am sorry for her." ”

I struck while the iron was hot: "Does her death have anything to do with you?" Is this the reason why you haven't started a family for so many years? Are you guilty or because you can't forget her? ”

I was in a bit of a hurry, and he didn't know which one to answer because of the series of questions.

That night, he was very drunk, and for a time he took me for an aunt and talked nonsense.

One of them struck me out.

He said, "Judy, please forgive me, I was forced to do that. ”

I had no choice but to calculate: "Zhang Jianjun, you can swim, why didn't you save me at that time?" ”

He wept bitterly: "I'm sorry, Judy, I have a problem that I have to have. ”

I asked, "What do you have to worry about?" ”

He didn't give a clear answer: "Judy, why do you ask me when you know that?" "Yunnan

In other words, the aunt rowed the bamboo row alone not because the picture was good-looking, but what happened between the two people at that time?

I can't think of why, and I imagine multiple reasons.

It is also possible for couples to quarrel with each other and make an unpleasant fuss. But these are no other reasons not to save my aunt.

I asked him again, "Zhang Jianjun, do you love Judy?" ”

He replied firmly: "Love, Judy is the only woman I have ever loved in my life." ”

When he said that, I burst into tears.

I said loudly: "Zhang Jianjun, why didn't you save me?" ”

That night, he said his last word, and he didn't talk to me anymore, no matter what I said.

He said, "Judy, you know my secret, why do you have to force me to tell it?" If you love me, why can't you turn my secret into a secret shared by both of us? ”

What's the secret? I still don't know.

But I know that my aunt's death is related to Zhang Jianjun's secret.

Ironically, the painting Zhang Jianjun painted back then became a stepping stone to his fame.

That painting, and the reason why he was single and didn't marry for so many years, was because of the guilt of his aunt and his own punishment.

I thought of many ways to punish Zhang Jianjun, but I never put it into action.

This man, this old man, I have a feeling of contradiction and entanglement towards him.

But after he actually left this world, I regretted it.

My book, "My Aunt," was renamed "The Girl on the Bamboo Row." The sample came out and it was lying in my drawer for days.

That afternoon, after thinking about it, I decided to show it to Zhang Jianjun.

He had doubts about the name of the book and asked me why.

I said, "You're the main character in the story, and you'll understand it when you look at it." ”

I didn't want to embarrass him too much, so I moved my easel and went to the carrot field to paint, and the weather was exceptionally nice that day, and the pale blue sky in the distance connected with the ridge with a beautiful color.

It's a good landscape for a painter.

Of course I knew when Yan Lina came, and I saw the black car when it turned in from that bend.

What's more, she is wearing that red dress, and it is difficult not to make people pay attention.

I continued to paint my paintings, why did she come to Zhang Jianjun I know, just asking for money, it was a love debt caused by Zhang Jianjun, it had nothing to do with me, and I didn't want to get involved in the matter between them.

After Yan Lina left, I went back to drink water, and Zhang Jianjun sat in the courtyard, looking haggard.

He looked at me fixedly: "Are you Zhu Lin?" No wonder you look so much like Judy.

”

I said, "Does it matter who I am?" The important thing is why my aunt died, aren't you going to tell me until now? ”

He was silent for a long time, and I looked at the book on the table and said coldly.

"This book is just a sample, and it is still one ending away, and you should tell me this ending."

His face was rather ugly, pale and pale.

He said, "Can you give me a little time?" ”

I went back to the vegetable patch and continued my unfinished painting.

This painting is very messy, and I was expecting this ending, but I was afraid that it would not be the ending I wanted.

But I know that no matter what the outcome is, it is time for me and Zhang Jianjun to part ways.

The process is extremely painful and extremely long.

By the time I got back into the yard again, he was leaning back on the recliner and was out of breath.

Diabetes mellitus is a syndrome characterized by hyperglycemia, but hypoglycemia is a relatively common adverse reaction and one of the common emergencies in the course of long-term treatment, especially in the course of drug therapy with insulin and insulin secretagogues.

Therefore, there are always chocolate candy at home, and there is sugar on the tea table in the living room on the first floor. In the past, he would eat two pills whenever he was not feeling well.

But that day, he didn't eat sugar. His phone was on the desktop in front of him, and he could have called me if he wasn't really feeling well, but he didn't.

He had an unsent message on his phone that was meant to be sent to me.

That message was just three words: I'm sorry.

These three words contain too many meanings, and he did it on purpose, in a special way to atone for his sins.

What that secret is, I still don't know.

But I regret it, my aunt has been dead for nearly 20 years, why do I keep holding on to that obsession?

I once thought about letting Zhang Jianjun go to another world to make amends to my aunt.

But when he actually went to another world, I knew that this was not what I wanted.

I gave away all the property he left me, which was another way to atone for my sins.