(a)

Because of nausea, she walked to the kitchen, grabbed her cup and drank water desperately, trying to hide her strong rejection of this role, coughing with tears on her face, she grabbed the microphone, "Bai Xian, I really don't want to do it." Didn't want to do it. She sobbed in pain.

Thinking about a day crawling in a cave in the ground, dealing with different unfamiliar cold faces, endless noisy words. Every day, it's like a crow throwing pebbles at the heart.

It turned out that she, when partying, always ate silently in a corner, never making loud noises, laughing and persuading wine. Now, I have to do sales work that deals with three religions and nine streams.

"Xiao Xia, you make me feel uncomfortable, my heart hurts, you are so painful, if you really don't want to do it, don't do it."

After listening to Bai Xian's words, Chang Xia suddenly came to his senses, don't do it? Is she really going to commit suicide by throwing herself to the bottom of the lake? I remembered the scene of looking for a job in the talent market, and I remembered the scene of failing the graduate school entrance examination.

She can't find a place in this world, she has to do it, and the double pain of people is that there is no way back in the choice.

She grabbed her bag and walked out. When she opened the door, she stood in the doorway with her bag in her arms, slowly squatting down, pursing her lips and twitching. In order to survive, it is necessary to train oneself into a commodity that meets the needs of society. She had to be a salesman. Writing some little dreams can't support yourself, and the high level of literati in ancient times can't support yourself in this society.

I finally found this sales job in a pharmaceutical company of reasonable scale. Except for this sales job, she has no other way to survive in this society.

She will go on against all odds.

(b)

In the bustling streets, at the intersection, a young man in a navy blue suit is waving impassionedly at the flow of people. The collar of the white shirt is prominently flipped over the collar of the suit. Look at the neat dress, like a person working for a foreign company. The passers-by, glancing at the madman, continued on their way.

Chang Xia stood still from afar, feeling a sense of kinship. It is estimated that he is a salesperson, and he is practicing his courage in front of strangers on the busy street.

In fact, doing sales is sometimes like acting, some sales actors are lively and outgoing by nature, good at dealing with different people, and they are born to do this piece of material; It's a pity not to do this. Therefore, when looking for a job, he naturally put on this outfit and was like a fish in water.

And the other kind is not, such as Chang Xia, who is completely forced by survival to find a place in the world to forage, and the job of sales happens to give her a place to forage.

reminds me of a scene in the movie "Farewell My Concubine", played by Leslie Cheung, when he was practicing, he said: "Fluttershy, I am a man", he just unconsciously and unconsciously told the truth, and the master's pipe in the movie went down and stirred in his mouth, his teeth shattered, and the corners of his mouth bleed. He is eventually beaten to the point that he has no ego, and how much he has practiced to get into the role of the woman before he says, "Fluttershy, I'm a daughter." ”。

But everything that happened at home, as soon as she arrived at the company and pressed the elevator, her reaction disappeared. She had already started another program inside her body, and another scene pattern began.

She handed over the work plan to Manager Dai and went downstairs to take the bus to the pharmacy. Constant back-and-forth with pharmacy salesmen, married cousins are the topic of children; The young little girl who is not married is all about buying clothes; What was put on the TV last night, what was eaten; Or standing in front of the pharmacy to promote, hand out flyers, and talk about a lot of advantages of the product.

After visiting the pharmacy, I went to the pharmaceutical company again, and I talked and laughed with those salesmen. In short, maintain the basic customer relationship.

Later, it seems that there is no brain, and when I see a customer, I habitually open and close my lips, like a robot, and after it is wound up, it keeps babbling and babbling.

But as soon as she left the workplace, she closed her lips tightly and didn't want to spit out a word. The mouth is empty, the heart is empty, and the eyes are empty. Spit flew all day long, and my heart was like a roll of paper kept pumping out. After work, people become a piece of waste paper, and they just want to find a place to hide.

Sometimes Bai Xian came back and saw her eyes numb and stagnant, looking at him sadly. Bai Xian is very distressed, Chang Xia is like a person who has had his throat cut, what should I do? She didn't want to talk, she didn't even want to cry. It is better to give her a quiet kiln to lock her up for a whole month, without saying a word.

(c)

As a grassroots salesperson, of course, it is hard. Visiting a pharmacy in the summer heat, the asphalt road looks like smoke. It's so hot that people's faces are deformed. Frowning, nostrils open, mouth split, eager to spit out a red tongue like a dog.

The sun shone on the top of the head, like boiling water poured on the head, and after splashing, the whole person was scalded. Despite the scorching heat, you can still see Chang Xia on the sparsely populated streets. Every day, she visits all the dozens of pharmacies in the neighborhood. Can only rely on two legs.

When Chang Xia, who was carrying a bag on the street and had dark skin, wiped the sweat that kept flowing, she seemed to have returned to her childhood, at this moment, Chang Xia did not flinch, and she felt envious of the salesmen in the pharmacy, at least they didn't have to use their feet to measure the scorching sun on the hot asphalt road in the city, At this time, her fierce father cursed no, but did she have a way out?

Her childhood.

The scorching heat of July and August, the closer it gets to noon, the hotter it seems to become.

After lunch at noon, "Go out." The father still walked in front without mercy, with a thick flat pole and a thick straw rope under his arm. Xiao Changxia cowered and went out, the cement floor on the drying floor was almost about to jump up when he stepped on it, and the cicadas screamed desperately, hitting the air as if they were about to spark.

The grass in the field was all sunburned, and its tiny bodies drooped weakly. Xiao Changxia is more like this grass, wilting behind her parents.

The same is to turn the hill on the side of the house and go to the field. Standing in the hot sun of the field, they all shivered over the heat.

The water in the paddy fields seemed to be steaming, so hot that it was like a film roasted by fire, and there seemed to be a large stove underneath that kept adding firewood to the stove. Xiao Changxia stepped on it and jumped up, it was no longer hot, and his whole body was like a chill, and he shivered.

Xiao Changxia still remembers the hard work of cutting rice in the scorching heat, in the depression, there is no cool breeze, the sun tortures people like red shrimp, and people spit out their tongues like dogs.

The hand kept waving the knife. The feet are straight in the paddy field, but the waist is always tilted forward, and the human waist is always bent at 90 degrees, prostrate on the ground, and the whole posture of cutting rice is like a dog with two front paws slightly raised.

I can't seem to stay in this environment for a second, but that's how the whole summer has passed. Therefore, Chang Xia later felt that her name was very strange, "Long Summer", it was really a long summer, she was born in a hot summer, her life, the hot and vigorous summer was very long!

In front of them are the faces of their parents who have long been indifferent by the heat. Chang Xia looked at his father's back and waist, the thick cloth on his body was already soaked, and it looked like he had just been fished out of the water. The neck was bare on the thick cloth coat, and it was already red from the sun. It's like it's sunburned. Sweat went crazy on Chang Xia's face. She looked at her father's back almost beggingly.

At that time, she longed so much for her father to wave her hand to rest under the shade of the tree, which was as cool as the Olympos, the mountain of the gods that the Trojans at war longed for, but her father could not have mercy, for such heavy labor had been dug out of the soil to feed a few children.

Silent labor, their hunched figures like cooked prawns in a pot. Xiao Changxia saw the silhouette of his father's tongue stretched out so hot. Even the frightened flying insects in the rice fields were silent and stopped flying.

At this time, her fierce father cursed and was gone, but did she have a way out? Not even more.

Survival is a thousand times harsher than a fierce face, ten thousand times worse than her fierce father. She has no other way but to choose to insist.