Because of some of my self-harm behaviors some time ago, I had to recuperate for a few more days, but if I have been living in the hospital, it will cost a lot of money, our economic conditions are limited, in order to reduce expenses, no matter how much Ai Wenxue objected to me, I insisted on being discharged, he knew that I couldn't resist me, so I had to agree, so we moved into the house given by Li Mingxuan to settle down temporarily, Ai Wenxue learned to do his own laundry and cook after several years of wandering, and he did things in a good way, his carefulness is not inferior to that of girls, With his meticulous care, I feel a lot calmer, my complexion gradually improved, and I quickly regained the vitality that young people should have.

Today's sunshine is good, see the neighbors with their children playing in the garden in front of the building, skipping rope, peek-a-boo and other games are fun, happy laughter fills the air, the happy atmosphere in front of me reminds me of the fact that I haven't been in contact with my parents for nearly two weeks since I left home, there has been no movement at the school recently, I don't know if there will be any problems, thinking about the past these days parents should be discouraged, in order not to worry them, I dialed the phone at home, but no one answered, I dialed my parents' mobile phone numbers separately, but there was still no response, I began to feel a little apprehensive in my heart, Ai Wenxue comforted that my parents may be busy with something to reassure me, maybe they will contact me when they see a missed call after they are busy, and I have no choice but to do what Ai Wenxue said.

"Let's go, let's go to the hospital today for a recheck to see how the body is recovering." I promised Ai Wenxue to go to the hospital with him for a re-examination at any time as a condition for being discharged from the hospital before, but after that, I always refused for various reasons, and dragged it out to this day, "Don't make excuses for not wanting to go, this time I must go." Ai Wenxue picked up my bag with a coercive attitude and dragged me out.

When I arrived at the hospital, I was catching up with an ambulance and stopped at the door, the door opened and saw a person being carried down, most of the sight was blocked by the doctors around me, and I could only see the part below the calf of the person, so it can be inferred from the style of the shoes I wore that the patient was a man, and the doctors and nurses hurriedly pushed him past me and Ai Wenxue, at this time I needed to give way, Ai Wenxue protected me behind me for fear of bumping into them, and only after we passed did we come around and walk into the hospital hall, When I was registering, I heard a doctor calling the patient's family in the hall: "Which one is Xiao Kai's family?" Did Xiao Kai's family come? ”

Xiao Kai, my father's name, I panicked, and subconsciously grabbed a handful of Ai Wenxue's clothes, and he noticed my actions, "Liangmao, what's wrong, why are you so nervous all of a sudden?" ”

"Wenxue, did you hear the name you just called?" I frowned.

"Xiao Kai?"

"Well, my father's name."

"Don't think about it, what if it's the same name? If it were, your mother should have called you a long time ago. ”

As soon as Ai Wenxue finished speaking, my mobile phone rang, and my heart was even more chaotic when I saw that it was my mother's call, my finger hesitated for a moment above the answer button, and the whole person seemed to be numb, and I was still silently praying for my father in the process of lifting the phone to my ear, hoping that my mother only called because she saw the previous missed call, and I hope that the person named Xiao Kai just now is just the same name as Ai Wenxue said.

It may be that I have recently lost my life to the extreme, and the more I don't want it to happen, the easier it is to happen, and the moment I connected the phone, my mother's cry came from the other side, and I asked in horror: "Mom, what's the ...... What's up? "My voice is low.

"Mao, go to the city hospital, I was on my way over, and the hospital informed me that your father was ...... He ......"

I froze for a moment, and before my mother could finish speaking, the phone slipped out of my hand, and I heard the sound of it falling to the ground, and I looked down to see the shattered screen, staggering. When a doctor was looking for Xiao Kai's family in the hospital hall again, I immediately ran forward and told the doctor that I was Xiao Kai's daughter, and the doctor asked my name and took me to the door of the emergency room, "Time is running out, go in and see your father!" ”

I entered the emergency room with tears in my eyes, my father was lying quietly on the hospital bed facing the door, and found that my father was really old at close range, he became haggard in front of him, the white hair on his head was clearly visible, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes were full of traces of time, time was spent arbitrarily in his years, and finally only gave him a face of vicissitudes, he was asleep, looking like a sleepy child. My voice trembled and I cried, "Dad." ”

My father opened his eyes and looked at me, now he was not as bright as he used to be, my father wanted to speak loudly but had no strength, but he still insisted on it intermittently, trying his best to make every word clear, "Maomao, let Dad take a good look at you again, I'm afraid I won't have a chance in the future", he stretched out his hand to me, and I also went up and held his hand, and moved the stool closer to make it easier for my father to talk to me, "You ...... Are you still blaming us for what happened that day? I'm sorry, Mao, but we were too impulsive to take your feelings into account, and you left in a fit of rage, and your mother and I were very worried. ”

"Dad, I shouldn't have disobeyed you, I'm sorry for you."

"Mao, if your father is gone, you must take care of your mother, she loves me, loves you, loves this family, I can't hear from you recently, I'm afraid you're still complaining about us, so I don't dare to take the initiative to contact, I'm going to go to school to find you several times but I went halfway and went home, I held my heart in my heart, just because I didn't close my eyes for a few days, don't make my mother sad anymore when you come back this time, since my grandmother died, the two of you are the most reassuring thing in this world, as long as you can live well, I will die blindly." After speaking, my father closed his eyes and coughed twice, tears streaming down the corners of his eyes.

"Dad, I promise you that I will never make my mother sad again from now on." Father nodded with satisfaction, "Dad, my mother will come to see you in a while, you have to get better, our family will be happy together, Dad, Dad!" Seeing that my father didn't make a sound again, I cried and shouted on his chest, feeling my father's heartbeat getting weaker and weaker, "Dad, wake up, Dad, I was wrong, I was really wrong, as long as you wake up, Mao Mao will be obedient, and I won't make you angry again, okay?" Dad, wake up! The machine that recorded the heartbeat in the midst of the shouting suddenly made a screeching sound, which was originally a fluctuating heartbeat pattern, and suddenly turned into a terrifying straight line.

I hurriedly called the medical staff, the doctors entered the emergency room again to check on my father, due to the drop in body temperature, dilated pupils, loss of pulse, when my mother arrived, the doctor had already covered my father's head with a white sheet and pronounced death, my mother still did not see my father for the last time, after my father was pushed away, my mother sat on the ground with a dull gaze and washed her face with tears, I wasted a few efforts with Ai Wenxue to help her to the chairs on both sides of the corridor to rest.

"Liangmao, if you want to cry, cry as much as you want." Ai Wen learned to see that I had red circles all the time but did not cry loudly, worried that I would be uncomfortable.

I hid in Ai Wenxue's arms, my eyes like a dam that had opened the floodgates, and my sadness poured uncontrollably with tears, "I'm just an out-and-out bastard, and my father was pissed off by me." Ai Wenxue remained silent, just listened to me repeat these two sentences over and over again.

Due to various reasons, I had to let Ai Wenxue help my family take care of my father's funeral, during which I found that he always answered the phone frequently, and every time I asked who called, he only vaguely replied that he was a friend before, but my intuition told me that everything was not as simple as he said.

In the next few days, my mother couldn't accept the fact that my father died, so I was hit hard mentally, and most of the time I was in a state of madness, and I found a lot of photos of my father at home, and then I looked at the photos and laughed alone, and kept chanting my father's name, and I would occasionally wake up from time to time every day, but I was also crying, and I learned some of my father's situation when my mother was emotionally stable - during the time I was away from home, The school found that I was seriously absent from school and decided to let me suspend my studies, called me on the phone and notified my parents to cooperate with the investigation, my father, who was already uneasy, learned that he could not eat and could not eat, resulting in repeated stomach problems, and went to the hospital to detect advanced stomach cancer, my father knew that he was unable to return to heaven, and chose to give up the treatment in order to reduce the financial burden, until that day, a large amount of work did not have time to eat, and he fell in the workshop with unbearable stomach pain.

The day after I finished talking about my father, my mother was completely crazy, she didn't even recognize me, she thought I was going to steal the photos she found, and she pushed and shoved me and Ai Wenxue out of the house, and we returned to the house given by Li Mingxuan again.

It has been said that the souls of good people fly to the sky after death, and when it is dark, they will appear as stars and continue to accompany the people who care for them in high places. So since my father died, I would like to sit alone on the windowsill at night and look out the window, the night sky is dotted with stars, I think maybe the star that my father turned into is in it, looking at the sky, will my father also look at me? I opened the music player, and instead of rock music or tearjerkers, I downloaded some nursery rhymes, including what my parents had taught me, and I remember that when I was a child, they would often hold my little hand and sing along: a pug, crouching at the gate, with dark eyes, wanting to eat meat and bones. The figure of my father will always come to mind, and I will imagine the way my father secretly looked at the family photos in private during the time I ran away from home, sometimes laughing when I look at it, sometimes I feel lost, but I can't find the innocent me I used to be.

If I were given a chance to go back to the past, I would like to see my father's young face again, and when he smiles at me, I will firmly say to him, "Please don't let go of me and my mother this time, please don't go alone", but what's the use of saying that now? Everything about the father is gone.

Ai Wenxue couldn't bear to look at my sullen appearance, he would find time to enlighten me face-to-face, "Liangmao, you have to learn to get out of adversity by yourself, after all, people will encounter a lot of things in this life, and you can't be sad for everything for a long time." ”

"Then will you promise not to leave me?" I have experienced too many joys and sorrows in a short period of time, and I am more and more afraid of losing, but he has not given me any answer to this question.