My hands trembled uncontrollably, and I pulled out a five-point, maybe there was hope. The little black flower king ball gathered around the man, their eyes were full of anticipation, but this gaze only lasted for a few seconds, and they were full of disappointment. I knew I had lost again, and I looked at the seven points in the man's hand and pressed my face to it.

"Smack!"

My head slammed on the table, the man's strength did not decrease, I felt a little faint, and the blood in my mouth was held back without spitting it out, "It really hurts......"

I struggled to get up and draw a card again, and the desperate two reappeared, and Wang Qiu stomped his foot and rushed in front of me to block the slap for me.

"Get out! Do you look down on me? I shouted hard, blood spurted out, unable to extinguish Wang Qiu's anger, he rushed forward and was about to make a move, but was pulled by Xiao Hei's father, "Since the rules are set by people, they need to be followed, don't make me unhappy!" A simple sentence and a look made Wang Qiu unable to move. The black and red blood soaked the cards, and I began to tremble. Without backing down, he stepped forward and raised his right hand.

I fell, pulled up by Wang Qiu and pushed him away, squinting and standing unsteadily, my brain buzzing, my cheeks red and swollen and numb. I can't imagine what I'm like now. The numbness of my lips left me speechless, and I looked at the three dots in my hand and raised my head again.

The man shook the seven points in his hand in front of me, and then slapped me to the ground.

My eyes were scattered, watching the black blood flowing out of the corner of my mouth but I didn't taste the smell of blood, this is really a stupid choice, even if I slap him ten times, he only needs one blow to defeat me, I motioned to Wang Qiu to pull Teacher Yuan and let everyone stand back, I will not give in even if I am killed here today.

"Don't be reckless, admit your mistake obediently, and I won't play," the man said casually, and leisurely lit a cigarette.

"No......" I trembled and got up and replied weakly, I didn't stand up, I moved forward with the support of Wang Qiu, Teacher Yuan had already cried, leaning on the maid and crying in grief kept repeating: "It's just a child......"

took a puff of Xiao Hei's cigarette, reached out again and grabbed a five-point, the man glanced at the two in his hand, put out the cigarette, and squatted beside me obediently.

"Let's fight, I'll have fun with you today"

"Hahahaha......" I couldn't stop laughing, the blood in my mouth flowed out, and I didn't have time to swallow it in my stomach,

"You're going to ...... For this, pay the price! Licking and swallowing the blood from the corner of my mouth, I felt an unprecedented excitement fill my body, I looked at my black and red palm, the blood seemed to be coagulated together, and I raised my right hand and hit the man's cheek fiercely.

There was a loud "pop", and everyone who hit it trembled. The man fell to the ground, the corners of his mouth slightly open, unable to say a word, lying on the ground motionless for a long time. Didn't get up again.

The crowd cheered, as if to cheer for me. I looked at everyone coldly, without a single expression. Only when I saw Teacher Yuan, there was a trace of tenderness in the corners of my eyes. Wang Qiu kicked the man twice, but he didn't react, deliberately counted down to five, and dragged me to his back, Xiao Hei's father was amazed, and hurried to the man to look at it, and motioned to carry him away. He had passed out because he had been slapped by me. Blackie's father looked at me with a cold gaze, and I still looked at everyone coldly.

Almost going out with a male classmate and his father, I looked at him with tears in my eyes and remorse in my eyes, he looked at his unconscious father, and there was no trace of fierceness before. I saw a bit of self-blame, horror and remorse in his eyes. He looked at me on Wang Qiu's back with no trace of hostility, more of a fear, a fear that I couldn't understand.

I suddenly didn't feel anything, I didn't feel the slightest pain or fainting, the momentary pleasure and excitement were gone, as if I was numb after the slap. I don't know what the point of doing it is. I didn't even know the names of my male classmates and his father. His eyes made my heart ripple with a thousand waves, was it the right thing to do by myself? Is this the best for me? Have I really achieved my goal and earned my own dignity?

I began to question myself again. I hope that the father of the male classmate will sleep peacefully in the company of the moonlight tonight, and wake up warmly with the sun tomorrow.

The lights in my father's room had gone out, and since that day my father handed me the cigarette, I felt like I had truly become an adult, my father no longer cared about my affairs, he would no longer restrain my character, and for the first time I deeply experienced freedom, I would no longer count the time to go home, and I would no longer think of a thousand reasons to explain to my father the next day because I was injured when I returned late. I felt that I had received my father's approval, but I knew that I had lost my father's meager expression of love. Maybe growth will always come with loss, and no one can change it.

After smoking a cigarette in front of the door, he dragged his tired body down the stairs cautiously. My cheeks were still slightly swollen and fine, and my mood was still a little heavy, so I didn't go in, but lit a cigarette at the door. When I swallowed the clouds, I remembered the dream I had when I was a child, that childish dream.

At that time, I always felt that smoking was a symbol of my own growth, and being able to smoke at home was a symbol of the recognition of my mature parents, I had tried to imagine the various scenes and postures of my first time smoking at home thousands of times, and now it seems that everything happened so naturally, and the original sense of expectation can no longer be found, let alone a trace of satisfaction. I remember when I was sixteen years old, I sat in front of the door and imagined what I would be like when I was eighteen, and when I was eighteen, I sat in the classroom and fantasized about what I would be like and change when I was twenty years old, and when I was twenty years old, I realized that I had always been like this, nothing had changed, but time had passed, and I was still standing in the same place.

Sister Liu's snoring did not sound, and the faint light escaped through the crack in the door. It was late at night, and I hesitated and knocked on her door.

"Don't rush in, I'm changing!" Sister Liu's answer was a little impatient but gentle.

I took two steps back, waiting for Sister Liu's consent.

Not long after, Sister Liu opened the door, and I smelled a smell of wine again. She was dressed in a white nightdress, and there was a swan on her chest with her head held high as if looking at Sister Liu's cheeks, and the swan's restless feet seemed to be about to jump up and pounce on Sister Liu for comfort, but there was an extra skirt belt around her waist that limited her enthusiasm, and the swan had to be restrained.

"You're back, why are you so late?" Sister Liu closed the door to isolate the smoke from the house

"It's a bit of a problem, so I'm late to come back," I said, and found that there was no place to sit, and the room was full of tables and chairs that had been kept by the wine bottles, and there was no trace of them, except for the messy wooden bed, which seemed a little lonely.

"I'm sorry, I don't have anything to clean up, if you don't dislike it, just sit on the edge of the bed" Sister Liu saw my embarrassment and reached out to sort out a free place for me.

"Why don't you sleep so late?" I asked

"Wait for you, you just came back," Sister Liu smiled faintly