"I went back to my hometown, Hexi Village, and only in this small village in the middle of nowhere can I escape from reality and pain, and forget the past. I can live incognito and obscurity here. I have no future, no dreams, I just want to live this life numbly like a bug. Li Fugui said sadly: "I just want to honor my father and mother as much as possible, and then live honestly." ”

"I used my hard-earned savings and scholarship to buy gifts and new clothes, and when I returned to the village, the people in the village were shocked and very lively.

"The people in the village didn't know what happened to me at school, and when I came back wearing a new set of clothes, they thought I had become a big official or a rich man and returned home." Li Fugui said: "The village chief treated me as a guest, and the people who looked down on me also flattered me. In order not to make my father and mother sad, I lied and did not tell them what would make them sad, I just said that I did not work in the city after grad school, but came back to do a study, which is very good for crop cultivation, and the villagers believed it, and they were full of praise for me, and they kept flattering me. ”

"Ding Dazhu, Ding Erzhu and others, who bullied me when they were children, nodded when they saw me again, they looked very kind, and they seemed to be close brothers with me. I haven't seen them for a few years, and they have all grown up, and they seem to have changed a lot in front of me, and they seem to be reasonable, and they are not as arrogant and unreasonable as they were when they were children. Li Fugui said: "These people prepared a banquet for me, they praised me for being smart from time to time, they said how to know that I was a dragon since I was a child, and I must be a blockbuster when I grow up, and I must say that I am promising, and I am a nobleman." ”

"I know that they are pretending to be affectionate on the surface, but they are actually trying to trick me into making a fortune for them, wanting me to take care of them and help them get rich." Li Fugui said: "The village chief also wants to wash the dust for me, saying that I am the great champion of Hexi Village, and Wenqu Xing will definitely be able to be a big official like the ancestors of Hexi Village, and lead Hexi Village to a more prosperous future." After all these years of experience, I know that people are warm and cold, and they do it because they think that I have become a person with power and money, and the people in the village are very practical, and they all want to have a relationship with me, compared to when I was younger, when I was admitted to university, no one even whipped me to celebrate, and their attitude has changed so much now. The only thing that makes me feel warm is that Wang Chunhua is still very good to me, Chunhua was very close to me when I was a child, like my sister, she was very happy to see me come back. From the look in her eyes, I knew she was genuinely happy. ”

"I felt ridiculous when I saw the disgusting appearance of the village chief and others, but I also felt pity for myself, because I couldn't last long. As soon as they know I have nothing, they will show their old faces. ”

Li Fugui said lightly: "Sure enough, after a while, the people in the village found that I was the same as before, still doing nothing, and their original abacus was empty. They believed that I was a graduate student, but because I was too cowardly, they reverted to their attitude towards me. ”

"I have always tried my best to help others in the village, although the people in the village have always looked down on me, sometimes bullied me, sometimes I get angry, but I have held back and never thought of retaliating against them. I'm not crazy, others just look down on me, I can just tolerate it, why should I take revenge on others because of this? Li Fugui said: "I just want to live quietly, I have no dreams, I have completely given up what I have learned, and I don't want to have a career anymore." ”

"During this period, through quiet thinking, I discovered more and more my character, I am indeed too cowardly, too timid and afraid, without courage and assertiveness, such indisputable." Li Fugui said: "Others call me a coward, scold me for being a waste, and say I'm useless, all for a reason." This world is the rule of the jungle, I am so weak, how can I not be bullied by the strong? ”

Li Fugui paused and said: "Character determines fate, I calmed down and thought, how can I succeed with such a cowardly and incompetent character?" His tone became strange: "I often watch the animal world, I am very loving, I see those cute little animals being swallowed alive by pythons, eaten by wolves, those antelope zebra herds are unfortunately captured by lions and hyenas and cheetahs, I am sad." I thought, why are herbivores always eaten by carnivores, and they have always been brutally killed for thousands of years? Instead of choosing to fight back? ”

"I don't understand, after thousands of years of evolution, why the docile lamb will always innocently open its frightened and desperate eyes when it is eaten by wild beasts, but will not resist desperately and let others slaughter. When the poor fawn was bitten off by a lion, it would only struggle uselessly, never besieging the lion first. When a mouse meets a cat or a snake, it loses its fighting spirit and waits for death. Why are some species destined to be weak by nature and to be bullied and humiliated by others? Why are some animals and some people destined to be weak? Doomed to failure, destined to live in fear? And some animals are born strong and can do whatever they want? ”

"Although I majored in chemical engineering in college, I usually love biology, medicine, and animal behavior. I am a lamb character, weak and powerless, so I will fail, destined to be a weakling. ”

"Why?" Li Fugui said: "Why does this world stipulate strong and weak characters? Saint journalist, you tell me, why is that? Who has the power to doom people like me from birth? Doomed to fall prey to someone else? ”

The Sage Soldier was silent.

Li Fugui smiled sadly: "Even a character like you, you can't answer it, right?!" You can say that this is a creation of heaven, there must be a reason, or the result of the evolution of different species in different environments, is the product of the survival of the fittest, which is the inevitable survival of the fittest in nature to maintain biological balance. But I ask, even if it is the Creator, what right does He have to sacrifice some of the weak? It's not fair! Just like me, why is my character so weak, why can't I be a strong person? Look at these people around you, just like these folks, who have fallen victim in our struggle, why is that? Because they are weak? Why should they become victims? Why is that? ”

The Sage Soldier said coldly: "There is no point in us discussing this issue, I don't care if the world is random or predestined, the strong are the strong, the weak are the weak, and the weak are eliminated!" It's useless to always think about why you are weak and weak, just like these villagers. If you're weak, find ways to be strong. He went on to say, "You didn't resign yourself to failure, so you controlled them." ”

"At that moment, I thought very clearly, I was going to make a change." Li Fugui said: "No matter how the natural world developed and evolved to the current situation, whether it is fair or not, whether it is correct or not, I want to change it!" ”

The Sage soldier asked, "How did you do that?" ”

"I'm going to change my personality! Change your weak character! Why can't I change? Why can't I have the character of a strong man? I'm going to be strong. I'm going from a sheep to a lion! Originally, this is just empty talk, people's temperament is fixed, as the saying goes, three years old knows old, when a certain age, people will not change, I know that the idea of changing people's character and temperament is very unrealistic. ”

"But I had my chance! Prompted me to have this idea! Li Fugui said: "I sometimes go to the second uncle's house to help, help him do his work, I am not interested in the second uncle's superstitious things, I see a lot of ancestral antiquities in his house, I am very interested in those cultural relics, especially there are a few ancient books in it." ”

"These ancient books are old, different styles, put in a wooden box, the preservation of the handed down is not very good, some are damaged, they are all genuine antiquities, among them even have the Qin Dynasty and the Spring and Autumn Period before the Warring States period left over from the bamboo slips, the second uncle does not know their value, he also can't understand these ancient books, that is, as the ancestors handed down the heirloom preserved."

"When I saw these ancient books, I thought that there was once an official of the Ming Dynasty in our village, who was a squire of the Ministry of Works, and these mysterious ancient books were probably collected and preserved by him, and then these books were handed down, including an ancient medical book."