"Despair is not daring to admit what you love." He crouched down and looked at me sincerely, and I didn't know how to answer, "Do you dare to admit what you want?" ”

I wanted to shake my head and say something, but my throat was choking and I didn't know what to say.

He kept looking at me like this, "You'll never wake up like this, you'll always stay here." ”

"Where to stay?" I asked angrily.

"If you stay here, you can't go anywhere, you can't have what you want, you can't have what you like."

"I can't have it anymore, don't I?"

"It's you who keep yourself here."

"What's the point of you and I discussing philosophy? You're not me, Zifeiyu,"

"Fish is not fish balls, fish balls are not crab fillet, crab fillet is not shrimp dumplings, shrimp dumplings are not a steamed dumpling king"

"Who the hell are you?"

"I used to be you."

He spread out his hand, and there was a piece of rice in his hand, which was a slender rice: "It is human food and human medicine." ”

I don't speak.

"Rice that has been sown and harvested can be cooked to feed people, and it can also be fermented and brewed into a pleasant substance."

"Wine," I said unconsciously, and my body seemed to have a pleasant memory of the substance.

"It is said that there is a rope woven from straw at the entrance of a shrine in Japan, and it is an enchantment, the boundary between man and god, and rice itself has this duality, and what it is depends on you"

"In the era of abundant food, there is surplus grain and wine, isn't it? It never depended on me, and I didn't have anything I could do. ”

He stopped talking.

I've already started to get into the nitty-gritty, what's the point of talking? He thought so, I felt tired and deflated, and I lowered my head and didn't speak.

"Obviously ........"

His voice gradually faded out, and my ears gradually surrounded the music of the eighties, I felt a little out of breath, my body instinctively raised my head to the surface, the white lights cast sparkling in the pool, and the children with various swimming caps were warming up by the pool, and suddenly a force collided behind me, I couldn't balance for a while, and my brain was blank, and then a pair of arms bent to stabilize me, and the foggy goggles made me unable to see the face of this person.

"Remember to ask for help in trouble." A thought drove me, my lips and my limbs, and I began to struggle, trying to hold on to the person in front of me, but I couldn't use any strength, just muttered "Help me, help me, help me." "I don't know if anyone heard, it was pitch black in front of my eyes.

It felt like my heart was pounding so hard that it was heartbreaking, the fear of suffocation, the pain was intense and fast, and there was still darkness in front of me. Immediately after, my lips felt warm, my chest cavity filled with oxygen, and then the heart was pounded, the fear and suffocation, and then the warm lips of another person.

The fear slowly subsided, and the feeling of suffocation faded away, and the sound of the man's breathing could be heard in his ears, as well as the unique echo of the indoor pool. I regained my breathing and opened my eyes slightly, but I still couldn't see the person in front of me.

I was so tired that I squinted again and fell asleep. I woke up again, I was in the empty white room, the strong smell of the disinfectant made me wake up, I lifted the quilt and wanted to sit up, there was a tingling pain in the back of my right hand, I saw that the needle for the hanging needle was made out by me some distance, and the bright red blood seeped out, I had no such experience, and I was stunned for a while.

"Woke up with 13 beds? How does it feel? I looked up and saw the nurse walking towards me, I still didn't have the strength to speak, just used my eyes to direct her attention to my hand, she skillfully caught my hand and handled it for me, I was relieved.

"Do you feel unwell right now?" I shook my head.

She disposed of the needle in my hand and began to check my hanging bottle, "There is still half an hour to finish hanging, press the bell at the bedside here, and we will come back to help you remove the needle." She pointed to the red button on the bedside, and I nodded.

The nurse packed up the cart and prepared to go out, "That", my voice stopped her, and she turned back to meet my gaze, "Huh?" ”

Her rhetorical question made me not know what to say for a while, and I really didn't know where to start.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"I'm swimming, and...."Slowly I remembered what had happened before, the absurd conversation in my head, the distraction and the crash, then the drowning, and the next embrace, and the crash of the heart, and ......... I was lost in thought again

"When the ambulance brought you here, you have recovered your spontaneous breathing and there is no big problem, we did some tests and found that you have a little hypoglycemia, have a good rest, you can hang this hanging bottle later, there will be a doctor round later, if you are uncomfortable, you can talk to the doctor."