May 6th

Just got engaged for five days, and today we had a fight, and it was very fierce, because he said that I was too naïve, like a child who didn't grow up, and that's okay! But I couldn't stand it and he said that his family thought the same way, and he asked me to correct it??? What kind of thing, just got engaged and asked me to change? That's not what you said before you got engaged! It's unbelievable, I think it's better to cancel the marriage!

May 9th

After arguing for three days in a row, he seemed to be very angry and deleted my WeChat. I don't know if it's an illusion, but I always feel that after getting engaged, he seems to have changed, becoming more and more things, and a little disgusted with me! Is it because of the distance? Maybe it'll be fine when you get married! But will it really be good? Hey, I really don't know!

May 11th

Today, I am very happy to be reconciled, but I feel a little uncomfortable in my heart, because I opened my mouth to make peace first, and I really don't understand why I want to be cheap! Hey, isn't that the case with love, if you fall in love, you have to go all out! Come on^0^~, Xiaorou, you're great!

June 5

I had a big fight with him today.,I really didn't expect it.,He deleted my WeChat account again.,It's not married yet.,It's been deleted twice.,I don't know what's going on.,It's been deleted.。 This time, because he placed a few orders on my side, and I didn't finish it in time, he scolded me for not keeping my promises! Hey, it's really my fault, and I had a big fight with my dad about it. Sick of it!

June 9th

He took the initiative to add back my number and called me on a special basis, and I apologized to him, because it was my fault after all. He's happy, I'm happy, hahahaha!

……

October 1

We had a lot of arguments about the wedding photoshoot, and he had to ask me to go to his side, but my parents didn't agree. Also, I think it would be better for him to come by car, because after all, he can drive, and it's only an hour's drive to get here. It's not that I can't feel it, he and his family seem to be doing it on purpose, hey, they're both engaged, what can I do!

……

February 27th

I've been married for more than half a month, and I've been arguing several times. Today he regretted it again, saying that not only did he not plan to buy a house in the past few years, but also said that he would focus on his career, hey! I didn't expect to have to worry about where to live in the future! In the end, I gave in, this is an inevitable thing, no one can stop it, I feel so uncomfortable, I want to cry, as a woman, I have to give in to everything, why? I'm really drunk, I said before I got married that I didn't like to lie, and I said that I made the most important promise, but now it seems to be all the opposite! Bullshit, a whole bunch! Anyway, even if I confronted him like this, he would just fool him and ask me, "Did I say such a thing?" "Hehe, scumbag!

March 14th

Just two months after getting married, I had a falling out again today, and he scolded me and told me to get out, saying that I was not his family, just because I asked him to go to bed early! Hey, I'm talking a little louder, but is it necessary? What a fucking shameless, not a man!

April 17th

I'm so hungry, but when I eat it, I vomit, I'm scared, help, I want to die!

April 18th

It's really painful, it's so uncomfortable, some people are lucky not to have morning sickness at all, but I'm not lucky at all, it's so painful, morning sickness is not only repeated, but also getting worse and worse, it's so painful, I hope tomorrow will be fine!

June 30th

Husbands and wives should still be indifferent, it's right not to interfere with each other, it's me who is wrong, I take myself too seriously, so I will always be yelled at, I will correct my mistake in the future, just be okay with each other, I will never interfere with others anymore, just live my own life, there is no need to always interfere with others, I am wrong, I change, absolutely don't continue to do this in the future, so be it, I think I am in love, others don't think so!

……

September 17th

I went for a physical examination today, because I was a week late, and I was reprimanded by the doctor. Hey, it's all because of him, I said to go to the hospital in time, he didn't say it was okay, and said how his mother had a baby before. He also said that the physical examination is a waste of money, and there is nothing wrong with so many examinations, and it will be fine. Hey, how long have we been arguing! What's even worse is that he actually threw me with a big belly on the side of the road because he was angry, and he didn't know where to go for a spin! I'm fucking blind to such a thing! How not to die!

Sept. 17 at 12 p.m

He's still angry, and it's me who should be angry, okay? I'm just playing here, who's afraid of whom, don't sleep, I really want to die now! Although he didn't beat me, I have had enough of the cold violence again and again, what will happen in the future, I don't know, I don't want to know, I just hope that if it is over in the future, I will no longer love him!

September 19th

It's really speechless to quarrel every other day, it's better to have no feelings, it's simple and not easy to have problems, if you don't have feelings, you won't be emotional, and you don't have to care if he's good or bad, just give money to spend, but if you choose feelings, you should be responsible for feelings, right? If you don't want to be responsible, there's no need to choose love in the first place! If you choose, you should be responsible!

September 23rd

He has a bad attitude towards me again today! The good husband I have always fantasized about will never appear, I know, although I fantasize again and again, but still have no chance, I am really speechless! He will always only think of himself, and he will never be very good to me, I also hope that I will live a good life here in the future, he can do whatever he wants, I don't want to interfere, I don't care anyway!

September 24th

He doesn't think about my feelings at all when he's angry, even if I'm pregnant, it doesn't matter to him as long as it makes me uncomfortable and makes me uncomfortable! So he's immature and thinks only about himself! I don't know what will happen in the future, but I have to stick to myself and can't give in anymore, come on! I hope everything is okay!

September 27th

I used to be sad, but now again and again, I don't know what sadness is, haha, eventually I will lose all my feelings for him, in fact, what does it matter, it doesn't matter!

……

December 1

I came to live with my parents, and he didn't care about me at all, he didn't care about my children, I really didn't know what he did! He didn't think his parents were wrong at all, he still thought I was wrong, and he really wanted to get a divorce! Hurry up and leave, I will never have to face his parents again in the future, I really don't want to face his parents, I don't want to see him again in this life! His look of not caring about me at all let me know I had chosen the wrong person! I don't want to go on anymore because it's so painful! Although I was reconciled verbally, I felt that I was not happy, but instead suffered more every day, and had nightmares all night long! It's better to end all this quickly, and when it's over, it's all over! Always dominated by him, and finally found himself a slave, too painful, too sad......

……

Huo Xiaorou was lying on the bed, looking at the diary she wrote (writing a diary is a habit she has maintained since high school), she couldn't help but complain to herself while flipping and sighing: "Is this really what I wrote?" It's unbelievable! I know what kind of person it is, and I understand how I was hurt, but why did I let myself fall into a painful predicament and couldn't extricate myself? Ay! In the end, I made myself look like a retard, stupid or not! ”

The diary records all the things about her and He Weiye, but there is obviously more pain than happiness, happiness is like the shell in a pile of sand that is occasionally turned out, if you don't rummage through it carefully, you may not even notice it.

"Tsk! Why did I write so many complaints? And even swearing? I feel like a resentful woman, it's disgusting! Ha-" Huo Xiaorou took a deep breath, thinking that she had always hated people who only knew how to complain, who would have thought that she would unknowingly become the kind of person she hated the most!

"Suddenly I feel a little sad, why am I getting worse and worse? If you think about it, is it really his fault that all the faults are true? No one forced me to do anything, did they? It's just me who really traps me! If he doesn't love me, do I have to stop loving myself as he wants? Why? Why? ”

Before getting married, Huo Xiaorou once wanted to meet a destined person, and then follow that person to make progress together and move towards the end of happiness. She never thought that she would marry someone who didn't care about her, and ran non-stop towards the road that got worse and worse. She felt like a virgin, constantly reflecting on her mistakes, then giving in without principle, and finally moving herself to tears, but all this was just taken for granted in the eyes of others!

"It's ridiculous! Hehe! Huo Xiaorou recalled his disdainful look when she saw He Weiye in the morning, and flipped through the self-righteous "words of concern" he sent on WeChat, and couldn't help but sneer. Wiping away the tears that flowed from her eyes, she put her hand in her mouth and bit it a few times, then raised her hand high, looking sadly at the tooth marks on her hand, she took a deep breath and let the tears fall.

"I, because I care too much, I've always been afraid, because I've always been afraid, so I've been giving in, and as a result, in the end, I've lost myself after all. After losing myself, I realized that no one in that family cared about me at all, including the lover I chose. I went over and over because I was afraid of losing, and now, I figured out that there was nothing to be afraid of losing, and the reason why I was scared was because I never really had it, it was I who I was naïve, and it was me who was wrong, so it had to be corrected, and from now on, I wanted to be myself again. I'm sorry, He Weiye, I can't keep my original promise, but marriage itself is a mutual promise, and the promise you broke a long time ago tied me to death, you know? I want to move forward, I don't want to go back, I don't want to guard this relationship that has never been cherished by you anymore, because I want to look at myself again, see myself again......"

Huo Xiaorou clearly understood at this moment that even if he forgave He Weiye, he would not be able to live together without any guilt as before, not to mention that his parents were so unreasonable! If you think about it carefully, He Weiye can't be regarded as a bad person in the real sense of the word - he can't be a bad person, he is always like a fool who doesn't know what he wants to do, and a word from anyone can shake him; is like a child who is spoiled by his parents, no matter who the object is, he knows how to lie on the ground and play tricks when he makes mistakes.

And she knows that her vain attempt to change a person's temperament through marriage is a wrong idea in itself, which has nothing to do with love or not! Anyone who doesn't know themselves at all will only solve problems the way they have learned to think since childhood, and firmly believe that they are right! Because of this, she also knew that her current self would still be shaken by his apology, if he had, and she also knew that she would strangle any weed in her heart called "too soft-hearted", and no one could stop her determination, not even herself.