My name is Cai Xiaokui, I have always felt that I am a female dick, I am not beautiful, my education is not very high, my temper is not very good, and my cooking is not delicious.

In the words of my parents, it is a star-chasing who does not do his job every day.

Zhang Youyi is my best friend, we met in high school, at that time the two of us chased stars together, and secretly hid cosmetics in the desks together.

I still hide all the things that have nothing to do with studying in the desk, oh, such as my husband's magazine, and the new album.

Because there were so many things, the desks of the two of us were often turned over by our homeroom teacher.

So the corridor outside the office became the long-term residence of Zhang Youyi and me, because the two of us always went outside to stand.

Zhang Youyi is more popular, at that time, the two of us stood outside the corridor, and when we got out of class, people who knew Zhang Youyi would ask us, "What are you doing?" Why was he punished by the head teacher for standing in the corridor again? ”

At that time, I felt very proud and amazing, and I felt like a bad student in the movie, a woman who became a gang boss.

In fact, I look like a girl with a big grin, but I am a more delicate person, because of my various lack of confidence.

So sometimes I don't dare to try it, in high school, I once fell in love with a boy, and I liked him very, very much.

It's been so many years since I graduated, and I've been married for so many years, I've forgotten his name.

I only remember that with Zhang Youyi, the two of us gave him a nickname, called Deng Scumbag.

When I was in high school, I lived on campus, which was very stressful, and my province was a big education province, so my college entrance examination scores were very high.

And our teacher is very perverted, trying to squeeze out the last bit of our remaining strength, and live like a dog every day.

Under the pressure from my parents and teachers, I was very sensitive and unconfident, and there were too many difficulties at that time.

These difficulties were a piece of cake for adults, but they were a big deal for me at the time.

At that time, I had to discuss with Zhang Youyi when I washed my hair, how could I escape the teacher's eyes? How can I get my hands on the water pipes?

Auntie, he often has headaches, although I also have headaches sometimes, but it is obvious that I am a little better than Auntie.

This is probably the after-effect of high school, when we used to wash our hair in cool water, and some people would ask me, why don't you wash your hair with hot water?

Because there is no time, time is too precious, and there are too many people, and the water room is small, so it is already a very happy thing to be able to wash your hair with cold water.

So I vaguely remember that my aunt and I were always walking on campus, and at that time my hair was already frozen, and in the summer, the water on my hair had already soaked the school uniform.

But we can face it with a smile and make fun of the suffering, my aunt was an art student in the third year of high school, and he didn't come to school for a long time.

Later, my aunt went back to school, because he also had to take the college entrance examination, and the pressure was too great, and we were no longer like people at that time.

We are sensitive and jealous, like the ghost of a man. At that time, everyone was like they had a mask.

I liked Deng Scumbag at that time, and I liked it to the point of hopelessness, and I wanted to be with him, even if I did everything I could.

People are always like this, or people are like this, and it is best to be cheap and not get it.

I always brought him snacks, brought her hot water, and even went to see him secretly, but he never took me to heart.

Why do I like him? He also asked me this question, and I vaguely remember that I answered my aunt like this.

At that time, I had just joined the student union, and because I was a freshman in high school, I didn't have any connections, and I was also the reason why I had just joined the union, so I would encounter a lot of difficulties.

At that time, everyone was indifferent, and not even one was willing to lend a hand, however, he chose to lend a hand.

He helped me, and in my eyes, he was a sunny and handsome boy, although my aunt once told me later that he was not handsome, and even his character was not good.

But when I was younger, I didn't think so, I always thought that it was because I wasn't good enough, not good enough, that he didn't like me.

I struggled with pain every day, and I didn't know what to do myself, but when my aunt came back, she surprised me.

My aunt has a lot of friends, and most of the people in their class know my aunt, and because of my aunt, I finally had a chance to talk to her.

I carefully cherish this opportunity every day, I will carefully fetch hot water for him every day, and secretly watch him every day.

I like it very humblely, even if I look at it from a distance, it's good, and my aunt once told me that if I keep going like this, I will regret it one day.

I don't know if I'll regret it, but I really liked him until one night he walked up to my aunt, or rather walked in front of us.

I remember that she looked at my aunt coldly, I was so scared, my palms were in a cold sweat, I never knew that the boy I liked had such a side.

He spat at in front of us, looked at me with disdain, and said to my aunt, "Don't look at me if you're fucking fine, I'm not fucking rare for you." ”

At that time, when I heard him say this, my tears flowed, and at that time, my aunt stood in front of me and looked at Deng scumbag coldly.

Zhang Youyi smiled casually, he looked up at him, and asked Deng scumbag in a somewhat cold voice, "Do you know that Cai Xiaokui likes you?" Do you know that she fetched you the hot water every day? ”

"Forget it, I won't ask, I can tell from your expression that you know that while enjoying the pursuit of others, you also feel disgusting to others."

The aunt said coldly, the face of the Deng scumbag was very bad, it was obvious that the aunt said what was on her mind, he clenched his fists and rushed to the aunt.

Zhang Youyi looked at Deng scumbag sarcastically and said to him, "You don't dare." ”

After saying that, my aunt pushed Deng scumbag aside and pulled me away, and after I returned to the classroom, I felt that my life was very subverted, and I cried.

Because it was so uncomfortable, I felt that my life was like this, and it was meaningless, because I was so bad that it hurt my friends.

That night, my aunt took me to skip class for the first time, and you took me out of the school building with a leave slip, and I stood on the playground with my aunt that night.

The playground was dark, I was crying out of breath, I was really sad, I felt that life was really not worth it.

I cried vaguely and said to my aunt, "I'm sorry, it's all because of me, I hurt you to offend others, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." ”

I don't know how many sorry I said, and I don't know who the sorry person is.

That night for the first time I felt that the playground was so big, the school was so big, but I was so lonely.

However, time passed quickly, and after a while, the bell rang, and it was time for us to go back to the dormitory, and we had to rush to the dormitory to wash up.

Because we were one step late, we didn't have a chance to wash, and when I looked up, my aunt stood quietly like this.

After a long time, he sighed and said to me, "Actually, I am not a good person, I have left all my tenderness to others. ”

"It's not very good for you, I just need you to be my friend for the time being, even if I know he doesn't like you, but if you're happy, I'm willing to give a little bit."

"I know that adding fuel to the fire, but one thing you have to understand is that if you want others to look up to you in this life, you must first look up to yourself."

So my aunt dragged me back to the dormitory, and that night I saw for the first time a sad look on my aunt's face, and I had heard about my aunt before.

It's that I never see sadness on my aunt's face, because my aunt hides it too well, or there is nothing in his world that is worth his grief.

Later, my aunt and I separated, we went to different schools for each other, and the friends who used to think they had a good relationship lost contact in the blink of an eye.

But my aunt and I didn't break off, I knew that my aunt was not a ruthless person, even if he portrayed himself as a ruthless person.

But I know that he is a gentle man because he always gives me a direction when necessary.

In my sophomore year, I had a boyfriend in college, and the funny thing is that my boyfriend was also surnamed Deng, and he cheated on him.

Only I knew at the time that when he split his legs, I didn't feel anything, just playing with each other, but I didn't expect him to be so excessive.

My aunt arrived overnight by train and was angry for me, but I didn't expect that I met a man whose name was Ji Hanyu.

He was followed by a smiling tiger named Li Jun, but in the end I married Li Jun, and Li Jun and I were also fated because of Chi Hanyu.

At that time, I was very scared and hated this man, because this man gave me a feeling that made me feel scared.

Although I don't know what this feeling is, Xiaoyi soon left China and went to study in Yoma.

At that time, I knew that maybe life was not peaceful, but I really hoped that my aunt could be happy, in fact, I knew that my aunt was a sensitive person.

Because the two of us are too similar, so we can become very good friends, both of our tempers are unwilling to accommodate, so there are not many friends, we have our own principles of doing things, but many people don't understand.

Alas, I find myself getting older and always thinking about some messy things, alas, really is.