South City

In a building with a sense of age, the No. 5 dormitory of the machinery factory...............

"Zhang Fan, I'm about to get up, I'm going to be late for work." A middle-aged woman came out of the kitchen with a bowl of porridge, and when she saw the empty dining table, she was angry.

Zhang Fan's mother, who was standing in the same place, had a fire in her eyes, erupted a volcano that she had endured for a long time, and shouted into the room: "The surname Zhang, get up for Lao Tzu, if this month's salary is deducted again, I will let you know why the flowers are so red......"

Zhang Fan's mother threw the porridge on the dining table casually and walked towards Zhang Fan's room menacingly. After slamming open the door, he looked at Zhang Fan, who was still asleep on the bed, and immediately stepped forward and pulled Zhang Fan's ears up with his greasy hands.

Zhang Fan, who was pretending to be asleep, couldn't help but break out in a cold sweat with fear on his back after being dragged up. His body trembled slightly, and he muttered in a low voice, "Get up, get up." But he still didn't dare to look at Zhang Fan's mother, who was angry.

Zhang Fan's mother stared at Zhang Fan with fierce eyes, and Zhang Fan was submissive. "Little bunny, hurry up." After Zhang Fan's mother turned to leave, she immediately read at the corner of her mouth: "How did I raise such a useless son." ”

Although the voice was not loud, it was enough for Zhang Fan to hear. At this time, Zhang Fan felt deep despair in his heart, and held back the tears that were crumbling in the corners of his eyes.

In his heart, he said, "What is the murder! I'm just a 16-year-old, why should I be pressured by adults? Facing the intrigue in the adult world, dealing with the disgusting interpersonal relationships in the adult world. I... Tired. Zhang Fan seemed to have thought of something that could solve the problem, so the corners of his mouth rose slightly: "Isn't there a knife in the kitchen?" ”

Hearing the sound of the door closing, Zhang Fan's heart breathed a sigh of relief. After Zhang Fan's mother's tossing in the morning, Zhang Fan's body was already tired and weaker. The tense nerves did not relax with Zhang Fan's mother's departure, and seemed to be even more afraid of Zhang Fan's mother's attack again.

The breakfast on the table was just leftovers from last night, mixed together and heated. As for why he didn't give money to let Zhang Fan go out for breakfast, probably because it was too expensive, Zhang Fan didn't deserve it.

Zhang Fan didn't choose to eat his mother's breakfast, maybe because he was angry, maybe it was really hard to swallow.

Since Zhang Fan came out to work for the first time, he didn't have any money, and his salary was almost deducted because he was often late. There was only 20 yuan in his pocket to help Zhang Fan's father buy cigarettes, but Zhang Fan's father didn't ask for it, and Zhang Fan didn't give it.

On the way to work, Zhang Fan watched the pedestrians coming and going on the road. I suddenly sighed in my heart: "I am a member of society." ”

Zhang Fan also has an alias called Zhang Dazui, because when he laughed when he was a child, his mouth would be very big, so his elementary school classmates would often bully and make fun of him. Although his mouth slowly returned to normal after growing up, this name was kept by people who like to bully Zhang Fan.

No one knows the sadness in his heart, and there is nowhere to say, this may be Zhang Fan's most annoying place.

Zhang Fan, who was a student, had no friends and his grades were not good because of psychological reasons. However, Zhang Fan's parents did not pay attention to it, and the partiality of the teachers ignored it, resulting in Zhang Fan now having a serious mental illness and being unable to communicate with ordinary people.

"I hope they're not my parents." Zhang Fan said with a smile on the road,

A month later.........

Zhang Fan has been out to work for 3 months, and after a small talk of restaurant management was overheard by Zhang Fan, he came up with the idea of resigning.

A fat woman said to a thin woman with a discriminatory expression: "If it weren't for this young man, there is a grandmother to take care of, and he would have been kicked out a long time ago." ”

The grandmother mentioned by the fat woman is not Zhang Fan's grandmother. In fact, it was Zhang Fan's aunt, who also worked in this restaurant, but looking at her age, they mistakenly thought that she was Zhang Fan's grandmother, and Zhang Fan had already explained this, but they didn't seem to believe it, thinking that Zhang Fan was lying, and after explaining many times to no avail, Zhang Fan didn't care about it.

Zhang Fan, who worked hard, heard that he was left to work here because he was pitiful and charitable, and there was no one to tell him about his heartache and grievances, and there was nowhere to vent. The violent fire in his heart rushed to his head.

When he returned home, he didn't understand, and he was not recognized when he didn't go well at work, and countless grievances and sadness in Zhang Fan's heart came to his heart. In order not to be discovered by others, I had to secretly wipe away the tears that were about to be left, and then continue to work as if nothing happened.

After getting off work, Zhang Fan, as usual, walked home with a heavy heart. "I finally realized the sadness and pain of the people at the bottom." Shaking his head helplessly, he continued: "But why should I suffer this pain at this age? ”

Passing by a bridge, I put my hands on the edge of the bridge and looked into the distance. "The people on this boat seem to be smiling so happily, why can't I be like them?"

Zhang Fan's face showed an envious smile, "Why is the gap between people and people so big?" After saying that, he looked at the dark sky, and the street lamps illuminated the people who were hurrying home.

"For others, home can be a warm and comfortable place. But for me, home is a hell of a nose, a place that tortures my spirit and body. Thinking of the sad and sad things, Zhang Fan's eyes turned red again, Zhang Fan, who was full of self-esteem, did not allow others to see his tears, especially in a public place like the street, which would make Zhang Fan feel like a clown.

"Should I leave this world, for them I am just an unimportant person, I have not integrated into this world again, without me, the sun will still rise tomorrow, and the world will still run as usual." Zhang Fan's face was smiling, but this smile made people panic, and his heart felt like he had been pierced by ten thousand arrows, and his heart was extremely painful.

It's 9:30 a.m., and the cars and pedestrians on the street are still coming and going. Zhang Fan, who has a strong sense of self-esteem, naturally would not choose to end his life here.

Because there are too many passers-by here, if you attempt suicide and are rescued by passers-by on the shore, it will inevitably be preached, which is really embarrassing.

"Okay, I'm not playing, bye to this disgusting world." After Zhang Fan finished speaking in his heart, he was still a little looking forward to what the world would be like after death, how ridiculous and ridiculous.

God seems to be against Zhang Fan, no matter what he does, he will not let Zhang Fan go along with him. This unlucky little boy is extremely unlucky, and he can't get his own sense of identity in this world.

The place where Zhang Fan committed suicide was Nancheng Tower. It's just a short walk from home, about 15 minutes to the northwest.

Usually the Nancheng Tower at this point is no longer empty, and the scenery is excellent, you can see the beautiful night view of the Nancheng, which is undoubtedly the best place for Zhang Fan to end his life.

Of course, it also requires strong physical strength to climb up, which makes Zhang Fan, who has been serving plates for a day, even more exhausted.

"I can't imagine that when I come, I will have to suffer physical torture." Zhang Fan bent over, holding his knees with his hands and panting,

Zhang Fan, who finally climbed to the top of the mountain, Nancheng Tower was not as empty as he imagined. Zhang Fan looked around and said, "There is no way, I have to wait for them to leave first." ”

Usually Zhang Fan has no friends and is at home when he rests, so it is the first time he has come to Nancheng Tower.

It's just that this is the first time, and it will be the last time.