"In a word, for a lifetime. A lifetime of love, a glass of wine. "I went around and around several times, and then I arrived at the door of the house again. It seems that I still have to go in, and I took out the mobile phone in my trouser pocket, "It's only half past seven, I'm afraid of running into them, and I've been hiding in the toilet for a long time, Ah Xi." ”

The eyeholes shrank and the feet stomped. "Death is death, whoever is afraid is a dog." After wandering outside for 5 or 6 hours, his stomach was already rumbling with hunger, and Zhang Fan was still listening to the movement at the door for a long time, and he couldn't muster up the courage to open the door.

"What's the matter, Zhang Fan, don't be cowardly, just open the door and go in." Zhang Fan hated himself very much, "Damn, go back to your own home, what else do they dare to do." ”

"Yes!" His hands are not shaking, his feet are not weak, and he opens the door and rushes inside. I don't know, I thought there was a little mouse.

At the moment of opening the door, Zhang Fan's parents happened to be sitting in the living room, staring directly at Zhang Fan who opened the door in a hurry, "Today, how early did you come back." Zhang Fan's mother said,

Zhang Fan's father rarely returned home, and saw Zhang Fan's back house expressionless and still bowing his head and playing with his mobile phone.

Zhang Fan's mother continued to launch a passionate attack and asked, "Let me ask you, why did you come back so early." ”

Mom's head turned in an instant, and something suddenly came to mind: "Were you fired?" ”

Faced with Zhang Fan's mother's questioning of the prisoner's dialogue, Zhang Fan felt very disgusted, making himself feel like their enemy.

Zhang Fan said impatiently: "No." Walking towards his room, Zhang Fan still didn't look at Zhang Fan's mother's eyes, because her eyes were like the eyes of an ancient demon beast about to eat people. This made Zhang Fan's mother feel like she was being ignored, and quickly walked to Zhang Fan's room.

Questioned: "Speak, dumb you?" ”

Zhang Fan stubbornly didn't speak, and still didn't look at Zhang Fan's mother's eyes, and Zhang Fan's mother's temper was instantly detonated. said something very unacceptable like a noise maker, and continued until Zhang Fan's mother had a dry mouth. Zhang Fan didn't listen, only heard that he was not allowed to eat.

When he returned to the room, he kept lying on the bed, never daring to look at Zhang Fan's mother, and ignored the insults he had. Because he has been used to it, since he was a child, he often scolds Zhang Fan for some trivial things, especially because he is used to it as numbness.

Zhang Fan thought about talking back to her several times and having a happy scolding war. But as soon as he thought of the consequences, Zhang Fan retreated, bringing homelessness and sleeping in the open, which was obviously not cost-effective.

Although Zhang Fan knew that he could call the police to deal with it, he thought that in the end, they still had to live together. After thinking about it, forget it, it's better to earn some gas by yourself and earn some money to move out.

"Wait for Lao Tzu, I don't have to be angry with you when I earn money." Gritted his teeth and tears flowed down his face, adding a bit of mature charm to his immature face.

The stomach "growls, growls." "This belly is really not angry." "Touched the skinny belly" Hahaha, good. ”

"What else do you want from me, what do you want, in the end, it's not to fall into the position of a lover......" Singing in a weakest voice is Zhang Fan's most comfortable way to relieve boredom.

Immersing yourself in music can make you forget about the pain of the moment. Zhang Fan, who lives in a cage, desperately wants to escape, leave this place where thoughts are imprisoned, and go to see the life outside, blow the wind, look at the sky and the earth, and feel new thoughts.

"It was true at the time, but how can I end this life? I've had enough of this life, I'm going crazy. ”

"The sky is sunny and waiting for the smoke and rain and I am waiting for you, I don't know what year the heavenly palace is tonight, and the high places are too cold..."

"Hahaha, I can't think of it, I can't think of it." Zhang Fan sat down on a floor, his eyes blank, lying on the floor like a beggar.

Zhang Fan, who couldn't make a decision, could only sit in front of a convenience store, and there was a broken bowl in front of him at this time, so that he could beg for a living for the rest of his life.

The passers-by beside him looked at Zhang Fan from time to time with doubts, and then walked forward casually, as if everyone was busy.

I'm not interested in any strange behavior of other people.,It's like a robot.。 hurriedly passed by Zhang Fan, and his eyes didn't want to stay on Zhang Fan for half a moment.

At this moment, a middle-aged uncle came out of the convenience store. Holding a wine bottle and drinking it, he laughed, and seemed to be muttering something next to his mouth.

Suddenly, his eyes changed, and his gaze was glazed. One accidentally fell to the ground. crawled to Zhang Fan, who was also sitting in the corner of the convenience store, and said to Zhang Fan with a mouthful full of wine: "Little brother, why are you sitting here, have you just finished riding the roller coaster." ”

Full of nonsense, Zhang Fan didn't want to deal with it, so he withdrew his face to the other side and said casually: "Get out!" ”

Who knew that the middle-aged uncle actually cried like a child, "Ahhh Rolling on the ground, this couldn't help but make Zhang Fan turn his face and take a look,

It doesn't matter if you don't look at it, this can surprise Zhang Fan at a glance, and his face is full of incredible appearance, and he exclaimed: "Dad! You... How to be here. ”

But this Hongfei didn't know whether he was too drunk or pretending to be drunk, and he couldn't even recognize his son. "Dad... Father? You're going to play with me? Leaving Dad, we went to find Mom, and after finding Mom, we went home together, cooked, and slept...... And how many things to do. ”

Zhang Fan looked at his father's nonsense, and he was at a loss and didn't know what to do. "It's... It's my dad anyway. Zhang Fan thought to himself,

"Dad, Dad, why are you drunk like this?" went up to support Hongfei, who fell, and there was no father-son affection in his eyes. Some are just forced to recognize each other by moral bondage, if no one around Hongfei is drunk and unconscious, Zhang Fan really doesn't want to pay attention to him.

Maybe you think Zhang Fan is too cautious. Didn't I just give you father's love, didn't I just didn't accompany you, your heart was too ruthless. But who knows Zhang Fan's despair and collapse during this time, are they? Did they care when they talked to them, did they think that Zhang Fan was a child, what did Zhang Fan get when he told them about his troubles, was it encouragement? Is it enlightenment? Or teach Zhang Fan how to solve the problem?

No, it's nothing, all you get is mockery, cynicism, malice.

If you can see the light, who doesn't want to live a positive life. But in Zhang Fan's view, this world is a dark world, and he can't see his five fingers, let alone be able to see people's hearts.

"I want to live for myself for the rest of my life." This is the first sentence that popped out of Zhang Fan's mind after he failed to commit suicide, "Since God doesn't accept me as a bedbug, then I want to take care of the whole world and let him see that I can live well alone." ”

Recalling these words, Zhang Fan couldn't help but smile bitterly, "It seems that I haven't grown up yet, and I can still say such childish words." ”

But why not? What's the matter, I'm going to live like a person next, as I said, whoever wants to stop me, if there is a seed, take me away. The firmness in Zhang Fan's eyes was unprecedented, "The rest of my life will not be settled." ”