What a tragic experience that was! It's still sad to think about it

It was an event that I personally experienced, which poured the drizzle of life on my childhood heart

I have a deeper understanding of life.

She, a girl, was my childhood tablemate, all day long in loneliness and sullen, thoughtful, whenever I saw her, her eyes were always red, at that time, I still didn't know the world, I didn't understand reason, I always wondered why she was like that, I just felt that she was very curious, very unique, so I asked my parents with a strange feeling, they didn't shake their heads, just

It's that the children's families don't ask about these things, maybe they don't want to say it, maybe they really don't know,

I couldn't tell at the time, but now I think my parents knew about it at that time, but it was him

It doesn't seem like a child should be in the right place.

Despite this, I still can't forget this incident, and of course I can't forget the protagonist of this incident, my tablemate ------ her, whenever I give her half of the pocket money my parents give me or something, she doesn't refuse to accept it, in my childhood soul I think she is very pitiful, very beautiful.

In the blink of an eye, the five years of primary school life has come to an end with the passage of time, I couldn't help but look at her deeply when I was leaving, she also looked back at me from time to time, and later, I went to junior high school, and she dropped out of school, since then the two of us have separated, in the days after she dropped out of school, I always secretly shed tears, I don't know why? Later, after several great changes, she left home, and since then she has not been heard from, and her thoughts have been diluted by the merciless time.

It wasn't until this summer that I finally met her on the overpass, her slender and tall body, as thin as a separate grass in the field, and her fair and lovely face became swarthy and thin, and her eyes were dull and resting on the side of the mausoleum by the "overpass". She didn't realize me, and she didn't see my existence at all, the change of conditions, the passage of time made me pity her more, and at the same time recalled the memories of the past, I didn't know what love was at that time, but now I vaguely feel that I was touched by her, and the days without her are always sad and sad, I asked deeply: "Am I in love with her?" "-------No, I absolutely not, I just sympathize with her, she is so noble and innocent in my heart. Thinking of this, I gathered in my heart of the distractions for a moment, looked up, only to see that she was facing me, her vast eyes sent out a look of despair, an eighteen-year-old girl, a young man in the rainy season of life, the experience of life is so bleak for her, the dawn of youth is so bleak to her, I feel an inexplicable injustice in my heart, secretly exclaimed: "Why is the sky right."

She's unfair".

I don't know the power that came, prompted me to gently take out the handkerchief, walked to her side, dried her tears, gently stroked her bloodless face, she suddenly smiled, laughed so easily, so naturally, I was stunned, I don't know why I was stunned, maybe it was because of her inexplicable laughter, I only felt a heart beating violently, she put her head on my chest, and cried loudly, the voice was full of anger and resentment, self-blame and contempt...... I lifted her low hair and reassured her not to cry, but she cried even more sadly, and I knew that a girl could only cry to vent when her pure heart was wounded, so I waited for her to finish crying, and she cried for a while and told me what had happened to her. It turned out that her grandfather was very cruel, after her grandmother gave birth to her father, because of her grandfather's scolding and beatings, she drove her grandmother to go insane, and after her grandmother fell ill, her grandfather raised her young father single-handedly, but he didn't tell him how his grandmother was insane.

Mother and father turned out to be cousins and brothers, blood is very close, should not be married, but the grandfather was moved by the grandfather who can speak well, so he married his daughter to her cousin, after the mother married, often scolded and beaten by the grandfather, "filial piety to parents" father, not only did not protect the "legal rights" of his wife but often helped his grandfather to insult his mother, the mother was physically and mentally hit hard, born poor, illiterate mother, even more ignorant of the law, coupled with the loss of the unfinished feudal ashes of the impact, As a result, the mother lost the instinct to resist.

It was a cold winter, the goose-feather snow was fluttering in the sky, the cold wind was roaring, the grandfather beat the mother badly, the cruel father not only did not sympathize with the mother's beating, but drove the heartbroken mother out of the door, at that time the mother was only 2 months away from giving birth, she wanted to kill herself after being abandoned by her husband, but she thought that she was pregnant with a new life in her womb, so she abandoned the idea of death, determined to raise "me".

After "I" was born, my grandfather was patriarchal, trying every means to abandon me, so that "I" became an abandoned baby in the world, after my mother sacrificed herself several times, crying and begging, so that my grandfather's vicious thoughts did not succeed, but I was beaten and scolded since I was a child, despised, in my young heart I felt that my grandfather was a hundred million fierce and cruel people, when "I" grew up to know that my mother suffered all kinds of torture for herself, I hated my grandfather even more, so that the elderly grandfather seemed more decadent, in his later years in "children and grandchildren are not filial, children are not respectful" died in the tragedy, and the father's situation was even more embarrassing, and the family of three often quarreled over the past and was unhappy for the past.

With the passage of time, "I" gradually grew up, saw and heard widely, and understood the world more thoroughly, so I often thought: "No grandfather, that father, no father, that came to myself, in the final analysis, my precious life is still given by my grandfather, thinking of my grandfather's decadence before his death, how uncomfortable my heart is, thinking of the quarrel between my parents, how sad "I" is"!

After listening to her story, I suddenly felt as if the whole world was cold and cold, and it was as if I heard a desolate voice shouting, "Mother, for me, for the sake of the whole family, you forgive your father!" I need a warm family and your love! ”

Gradually, gradually, my vision became blurred, but her miserable cry seemed to still ring in my ears, and the aftermath was endless, and it lasted for a long time.