In these days when I never saw you again, I often dreamed. Originally, I couldn't remember. However, I have done it so many times that in my dreams, I can clearly know what will happen next. But even if I did it so many times, I would wake up scared and look at the dark room alone, and I couldn't find anyone to talk to.

What did I dream about, you ask? I dreamed of life without you.

Ye Tang in the dream, indifferent and empty, living the days of the walking dead every day, even though Uncle Yun has been caring about her, but she can't listen to it, and I can only watch in the dream, he is gradually disappointed in her. In the end, there was really no one left with her.

At night, when she can't sleep, she will stand on the balcony like a ghost, watching her look at the ground, and I wonder if she has no nostalgia for the world anymore. Will she also realize that she is only one person left?

She didn't make it to Boston University because, the tutor who interviewed her, said she was too gloomy to fit in. In the end, she had to leave the place. From then on, he became more silent, and even lost interest in arguing with that person. Just like Zang Kejia's poem says, some people are alive, but she is dead.

In the end, she chose to commit suicide without the slightest impression of the world. Although she looked very peaceful with her eyes closed at that time, I knew that she was not reconciled.

I wouldn't have shed tears before, but because of you, I've learned to vent my emotions. Every time I had this dream, I would burst into tears, go to the living room and play a virtual game of boxing, and when I went to school the next day, I would be able to smile at the person who greeted me.

You shouldn't know how much you've changed me, I didn't even realize it before you left. But now, I know. It turned out that the second we met, my life changed, and you subtly made me feel lonely, felt that I also needed friends, and felt the friendship between friends, thus teaching me to believe and accept these two words.

I realized that I could also get the kindness of others, and I could also reciprocate the warmth of others. Later, Uncle Yun mentioned to me his worries about me after you left. But at that time, I even learned to turn grief and anger into strength. You don't know, after I went to graduate school, I also took taekwondo classes, because without you pulling me to run, I had to learn, take care of myself, protect myself.

I still make desserts and learn a lot of new varieties and flavors, but no one tries them for me. That's right, you're my guinea pig. But I've never failed, have I?

In fact, when I think of you, I feel puzzled, we are all people who don't talk much, even if we stay together, eat or play. We will laugh, but we will not express it in words. But I learned so much from this silence.

Until now, I've finished grad school, but I still haven't let you go. But I've been slowly, slowly, trying to make myself possible without you. Soon, I'm going to do my PhD. It could be another country, another land. There, without your breath.

As for what to do after completing your PhD? If I let you go, I'll go back to Boston to teach, if I don't, then I'll take a private offer and travel around the world. That's what you said, to enjoy the world.