"In the past week, do you feel that Song Bingran's suicide by jumping off a building has been bothering you?"

"Yes."

"Do you often think of the picture of her deathbed?"

"Yes."

"When you think of her dying in front of you, are you as sad now as you were the day you learned of her death?"

"It's not the same. Now I'm even sadder. ”

"Do you think Song Bingran's death has anything to do with you?"

"I ...... I do not know. I think there should be. ”

"Do you think you brought misfortune to Song Bingran?"

"My sanity tells me no, but I can't help myself from thinking so."

"Are you going to avoid your dorm building? That's where she jumped off. ”

"Yes, I don't live in the dormitory anymore. Didn't live in our rental house either, I now rent another house. ”

"Do you feel like your classmates are alienating you?"

"I don't know. I haven't been back to school for almost two weeks. ”

"Have you been feeling irritable lately? Isn't it easy to control your emotions? ”

"Nope. I feel like I'm at peace. I lost interest in a lot of things. ”

Su Xi was lying on a comfortable recliner with no expression on his face, just calmly answering Ai Chengming's question.

The latter sat across from her, holding a tablet in his hand, typing quickly and taking notes based on Su Hee's answers.

Two and a half weeks have passed since Song Bingran committed suicide by jumping off a building.

Ai Chengming knew about this relatively early, and was the first doctor to call her among all the people Su Xi knew, and he was also the first doctor to invite her to his consulting company for psychotherapy.

He has been working as a psychiatrist for several years, and over the years he has received many students who suffer from mental illness - junior high school students, high school students, college students, mostly female students.

Accompanying students are often their parents and guardians.

These girls, because of various problems, are either pessimistic and misanthropic and refuse to go to school, or often reveal a clear suicide plan, and even put their emotions into action.

Some were saved, while others lost their lives forever and never returned to the people who loved her.

Ai Chengming used to be in the obstetrics and gynecology department, and most of the time at work was surrounded by two emotions: nervousness and joy.

Nervous because of the nervousness of the lives and health of pregnant women and newborns, the lives of mothers and children (daughters) are pinned on him, and he cannot help but be nervous;

And after the tension, most of the time there will be a perfect ending, the adults and children are safe, and the family will go to his office to thank him.

But since that accident, he has been forced to leave his favorite profession and pursue a career as a psychiatrist.

Over the years, he has been exposed to a variety of mental illness patients, and he has felt more of a sense of deprivation.

What impressed me was a girl in her third year of high school.

Until now, she was a regular visitor to his nightmarish dreams.

The girl is very beautiful, studying in the key experimental middle school, and has been his patient since high school.

She said to him

"Dr. Ai, I can't accept that I'm not perfect."

Therefore, as long as she falls out of the top three in her grade in the exam, she will cry all day, without eating, drinking, or sleeping, just crying;

Therefore, she will suddenly not say hello to anyone, a person disappeared and left home for 48 hours, the first few times she made trouble with her parents to report JG to find someone, and later learned that she was like this, and gradually treated it coldly;

So, starting in the summer of her freshman year of high school, she never wore short sleeves again. Because the arms are all evidence of her hurting herself, with a knife, with a ballpoint pen, with a compass, all sharp objects can be her tools to hurt herself.

The girl's parents were exhausted.

Paranoia makes their daughters excellent, but paranoia also makes their daughters miserable.

Ai Chengming has developed a variety of treatment plans, but none of them are ideal, all of them are effective for the first week or two, and then gradually lose their effectiveness.

Ai Chengming highly suspected that the girl did not take the medicine as instructed by the doctor. But her parents insisted that they were staring at her every day to take medicine, and it was impossible not to take it.

It wasn't until the girl's death that the parents found out when they were packing up their belongings

All the drugs for depression were secretly replaced by her with vitamin tablets.

He worked so hard to save his life, treated the patient so carefully, and finally made his choice.

Ai Chengming always couldn't help but think

What was she thinking about every time she secretly swapped out the real medication and replaced it with vitamin tablets?

Does she wish for sooner relief, or does she wish someone could see her struggles and pain?

As a doctor, what exactly is the right thing to do?

In the past, as an obstetrician and gynecologist, the purpose was always clear so that patients could live and be cured, so that patients could be healthy and happy.

And in the face of patients with mental illness -

Will it set her free, or will it forcibly leave her in this world that is painful for her?

Retracting his thoughts, he looked at the patient who was now in front of him.

For him, Su Mengxi is a very special patient.

Ever since that particular incident at the hospital, he has been paying attention to his life away from her.

It wasn't until a few weeks ago that he finally confirmed that he could intervene in her life.

Now, the girl who could change the fate of her life is lying in her consultation room, her eyes are quietly closed, her long eyelashes are trembling, her limbs are thin, and her fair skin is faintly shining.

She believed him.

But he doesn't know if he is qualified to accept that trust.

If she knew the truth, would she still lie in his consultation room like this, discussing her most secret feelings with herself?

Ai Chengming was distracted unconsciously, but Su Xi suddenly spoke

"Dr. Ai, can I tell you something? I haven't told anyone about it yet. ”

"You say."

"It's like, the other day — probably the day before Bingran's accident — I had a dream."

Ai Chengming stopped tapping on the keyboard, his heart was beating like thunder, but he was still calm on the surface.

"What did you dream about?"

Su Xi blinked

"It's a strange dream, I know ...... Obviously, when I first woke up from the dream, I tried very hard to record it with a memo on my mobile phone. But when I opened the memo the next day, I found that I had recorded a lot of spaces. And the spaces are all very important.

But I care about this dream very much, and I always feel that this dream is not done for no reason. Dr. Ai, can you do me a favor? Can you help me recover this dream? ”

Ai Chengming pressed the end of the gel pen, retracted the refill back into the barrel, paused, and replied in a jerky voice

"Yes."

Su Xi rarely smiled slightly, "Thank you, Doctor Ai." The extra time fee for psychotherapy will be settled at the front desk when I go out. ”

"Student Su, you don't have to worry about this, now your task is the same as mine, which is to restore you to a normal psychological state as soon as possible."

"I see, Dr. Ai."

"Then let's get started."

Su Xi adjusted a lying position and closed his eyes.