I often joke with my friends that I am a second-rate scholar, a third-rate writer, and a poet who is not in the stream.

In the past eight years, I have published dozens of papers, and I have conquered CSSCI source journals and Chinese core journals that I once thought were unattainable. I have won dozens of various awards, and I have also been rated as an outstanding talent in social science research for young and middle-aged people in the city.

The title of a second-rate scholar can be said to be well deserved.

(Publishing papers is a very difficult thing to do for people who are not engaged in academic research and have a very low level of research, and I can easily publish so many papers that I may be regarded as a "great god.") Actually, I'm just an ordinary cultural worker. ）

When I was in college, I started writing poetry, and I wrote hundreds of poems and published a few in newspapers.

I used to think that the poems I wrote were okay. When I became friends with real poets, I realized that my poetry can only be said to have occasional good verses, but the overall level is very low.

Kan Wenyuan in this film is the prototype of myself more than ten years ago. And Wu Dao's remark to Kan Wenyuan that "there is more emotion, but not enough spirituality" is my evaluation of the poems I wrote back then.

For a true poet, writing poetry is both a literary creation and a way of life.

I once tried to be a poet, to live the way I was, and to write a few real poems in the vast expanse of the Northwest.

But since I left the Northwest, I've found it hard to be inspired. As time went on, I became more and more "cheesy", and although I occasionally wrote a few poems, I no longer had the urge to write poems.

It's been a long time since I left the poet's way of life.

For me, it's appropriate to be a non-mainstream poet.

The title of third-rate writer has long been undeserved, because I have only published a handful of essays and an equally small number of crosstalk scripts. Although the cross talk script has won awards and won bonuses, none of the cross talk has ever been put on the stage.

In the process of coming into contact with several writer friends from the local writers' association, I was encouraged, or "stimulated", to start writing long-form novels.

When I was an undergraduate, I wrote one by hand. To rewrite, I started by revising the book. But because the overall framework has not been broken, I can't write anymore when I reach 170,000 words. After that, I began to conceive of the next one, which is "Return is You and Poetry".

"Return is You and Poetry" is an existential philosophical film in which the protagonist Wu Dao is constantly faced with various dilemmas of choice, he hopes for freedom and love, but his choices keep him away from them.

At the same time, this one is also realistic. While most of the story is fictional, important characters have archetypes in reality.

In the field of philosophy, existentialism has been "obsolete" for decades. But for me, it's impacted my life for the last decade or so, and it's going to continue to do so in the future.

For a long time, I have loved great tragedies like "Hamlet" and "Dream of the Red Chamber", and I have been deeply affected.

In the original vision, the ending of this film was also a great tragedy. Meng Yihong was diagnosed with advanced cancer and passed away not long after. When Wu Dao was forty-two years old, he went to study for a doctorate, and on the way to the train, he received a text message from Si Baifang, asking him to meet him in Jeju.

At this time, Si Baifang was about to turn forty years old, and after experiencing two failed marriages, she understood that Wu Dao was the only person she could trust, and remembered the "Forty-Year-Old Covenant" that year.

Wu Dao decided to be with Si Baifang and sent a text message to Shi Qingqing to file for divorce. Because of serious stimulation in his heart, Shi Qingqing had a car accident while driving. Wu Yisheng was also in the car and died on the spot.

Shi Qingqing was already pregnant at the time, the child was miscarried, and she herself fell into a severe coma. Wu Dao had to give up the opportunity to study for a doctorate, and separated from Si Baifang and returned to Fangzhou to take care of Shi Qingqing.

After Shi Qingqing woke up, she learned the news of Wu Yisheng's death and the abortion of the child, and she went insane.

Soon, Si Baifang had nothing to love and committed suicide. On the same day, Shi Qingqing also died.

Only Wu Dao is left alone in the world. Later, because of severe depression, Wu Dao was admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

After receiving the contract, I reflected on whether the ending I originally envisioned was too tragic, so I began to re-conceive it, so that Meng Yihong would not die of cancer, Si Baifang would not commit suicide, and Wu Dao would have the opportunity to be with the person he liked.

I would like to thank Zongheng Chinese Network for giving me the opportunity and motivation to write, and thank Mao Na, the editor in charge of hard work.

I've reviewed manuscripts myself, edited magazines, and often worked overtime when I was busy. Web editors have a much larger workload than magazine editors, and authors should really be considerate of the editors in charge.

Out of gratitude, I deliberately arranged for the website and the editor to "appear" in it.

This book has a lot of flaws, and it's hard to say it's a success, but it gave me a real understanding of online literary writing.

Thanks to Zongheng Chinese Network for signing this book, so that my title of "second-rate scholar, third-rate writer, and non-mainstream poet" has finally been completed.

At the same time, in the process of writing, I also got to know a lot of writers with characteristics. Although we are thousands of miles away and have never met, we have the same heart. This is perhaps the biggest takeaway from writing this book.

Thanks to Muhua, Duckweed Drifting, Shen Ji, Shushu, Kelly, Yiyi in Shenxiang, Fengyan Blue, Xiao Jingya, Shentong Xiaowei, a rookie, Fu Ji, Chu Xiu, Jiangnan Memory, Jing Xiaochi, Mu Mo Hibiscus ......

Finally, I gave a poem I wrote when I climbed Jinggang Mountain in Jiangxi a few years ago to people who were lucky enough to read this book:

Climb Jinggang Mountain

Familiar with the history books for many years,

Today Fang Dengjinggang Mountain.

I don't know the Red Army Road in the middle of the night,

Only to see the sky full of stars.

Jingping is full of red flag exhibitions,

Everyone is a member of the Mao Committee.

Try to compare all difficulties with leisure,

There is no place in life.

July 2020