Wu Dayang also played football together in his hometown, called me and asked me to take care of his sister. His sister is a freshman in our business department, and her personality is straightforward and bold, and she suddenly sent me a bunch of fruits, which caught me off guard, but her personality doesn't know who she was influenced by, and the boy's personality is a bit similar, but it is also delicate, but I think this is my buddy's sister is not suitable, so I didn't accept her fruit. Later, she also signed up to enter the student union, I told Xiao Na that she was arranged to the general branch of the Youth League, maybe there were more opportunities for contact, so that he would have a sense of friendship between men and women towards me, she asked me to come out and say to me, let me be her boyfriend, I thought she was joking, like a brother and wife can not be bullied, I persuaded my buddy's sister kindly, telling her to focus on her studies, and the emotional matter is still considered relatively early, and it is very false, but this is also my occasional conscience discovery.

Cortana and her boyfriend didn't argue, saying that they decided to separate for a while because she felt like he was always ignoring her. Xiao Na didn't know who she drank a bottle of liquor with, and then chatted with me, talking about her past with Jiangshan, I was an outsider, watching her cry in front of me aggrieved, I didn't know how to help her, and the advice I provided was also to let them separate for a while to see, and feel how heavy each other is in their lives. There are a lot of questions, and Cortana keeps asking me, but I can't give answers, so I promised her that no matter what happens in the future, we will never give up, and she can call me brother.

Cortana said that she suddenly found herself in love with a flavor of "sugar", not suddenly, but suddenly found that she did, that it matched her taste, and that it was the flavor she had been looking for. She felt that she had always missed it for some reason, and now she was afraid that it would be irretrievable if she missed it, so she thought about fighting for it. Then Cortana sent me a text asking me, "Will we ever be together?" ”

Perhaps the person who can escape the most is myself, not wanting to face anything, withdrawing all the time, and then returning to my corner and looking at the sky that belongs to many people. I sent a message back to Cortana: "Calm down and plan your life, I'm a cowardly person, I don't dare to love or hate, maybe I'm scared, now I don't know love, but if we are really together, one day we find that it is not suitable, we will lose each other, I don't want to lose you, so the emotion between us is pure friendship, so that it can last for a long time, as for the future, I haven't thought about it, at least now I am alone, and when we find out that we can't do without each other, then we will be together." ”

I don't know how Cortana felt when she received my reply, she wasn't texting, and I couldn't ask. Let everything run its course, I feel so tired that I changed my screen name to Empty Wallet Loveless. Suddenly there is no direction, I want a simple life, no pressure, no burden, find an excuse for myself to escape, I am not arrogant at all.

Speaking of arrogance is because at noon with friends to Pizza Hut dinner, a person who has not seen for a long time, there is no class today, so I made an appointment to go together, mainly friends to treat, because friends pay salaries, more than 5,000 a month, work in the daily newspaper, just graduated from college and entered the unit, or formal, all kinds of benefits, divided the house, and the salary is so high, so it is very arrogant, in this place in Shijiazhuang, there are not many such good things, I know that it is because of the hard relationship. But I'm still envious, I often think about what I went to school for, what it will be like in the future, whether there really is no way out, a very troublesome thing. It is estimated that such a world will not change much in at least a hundred years. Well, I'm going to take the civil service exam in the future.

The welcome party was a great success, and all the programs were extraordinary. When it was over, everyone took a group photo on stage, as if my performance was over. After nearly a month of busyness, everyone is finally busy, and everyone is relieved. The lights go out and the event ends.

I walked to the dormitory with Fan Xiaobo and Xiao Na, and my heart was empty for a while. I sent Cortana a text: "Why is there such a fuss behind the hustle and bustle? Why do you always feel blank and tears raging in your eyes after turning around with a smile? I really want to cry out loud. ”

Cortana replied to me: "It's because it's depressed, so it's sad, and it's because I'm tired, so there are tears raging." It's because no matter how much you indulge, your soul hasn't really found a place to rely on. So I want to cry. ”

After reading her text messages, I don't know what to say, why she knows everything so clearly, even if I disguise myself as good, in the free, in her eyes, in front of her, I am always seen by her in the deepest part of my soul, and I am ashamed of myself. Why would someone who knows me so well be my sister? Smiling and sometimes afraid to face it? Because I'm afraid of becoming transparent.

Maybe when you really indulge yourself and are really bruised, you will be quiet, and you will have no strength to face your true self.

National Day, the 57th birthday of our great motherland, and the festival of the people of the whole country, Xiao Na and I spent it together on the train back to Chengde. She asked me if I could leave Chengde, and I happened to go to Chengde to see my grandmother. Normally, when I go back to my hometown, I go to Beijing, and then go home directly from Beijing, and rarely go to Chengde, because I have to take the 4452 green train to Chengde, which departs from Shijiazhuang at 9 o'clock in the evening and arrives in Chengde at 6 o'clock the next morning. I only took it once in my memory, this green train makes me feel a little scary, maybe a bit too much, but every holiday, the original carriage loaded 112 people, now to fit more than 200 people, so many extra people have no place to stand, if you go to the toilet, from the middle of the carriage to the side you have to walk for half an hour, stuffy and hot carriage, full of all kinds of smells.

However, Cortana booked a ticket for me in advance, and the two of us were together, chatting and eating snacks together, and the journey was not too long, and the time flowed in eating and talking, and I went to sleep when I was bored. Cortana said that I was a god of food, I would eat when I woke up, and I could eat even more if I didn't sleep, and from the moment I got in the car, I knew she wanted to say that I was a pig.

In fact, I still know that when I was asleep, Cortana hugged me from behind, and I didn't dare to wake up, so I pretended to sleep, and waited for her to let go. I know Cortana's hints, I hope she understands my rejection, I know that what she likes about me is the ease and nothing she likes for her, I want her to see my unsteadiness and contradictions, and we may both suffer from ambiguity.

When I got off the car in Chengde in the morning, I felt that the autumn was high and cool, especially cool, and I had to shiver a little. When I was separated from Cortana, she stuffed me with a letter and asked me to read it after she left, saying that she was going to prepare for the graduate school entrance examination when she went back after eleven, which made me confused for a while.

Cortana was gone, and I sat in the cab and watched the letters she wrote to me.

"Sugar: From the first sorority party when the Department of Information and Management merged, to the establishment of the Department of Commerce, our joint efforts, until the brother-sister relationship, have always been full of affection for you, no matter how many stories you tell me, no matter how unscrupulously you describe buddy life in front of me? I'm all the same, keep the first good impression you gave me.

In my heart, only you love like a brother, through frequent work and conversation, I know that you are indeed a capable person and a developed person. For some reason, we missed, when regretting, wanting to turn back, hehe has long been in the past. After the recent period of distress, happiness, laughter, and tears, I muster up the courage to write this letter today, I think we can't go back on our word again and again, we should really let go of all our baggage and prepare for the graduate school entrance examination and the future.

We don't want any more promises, okay? Back to the past, back to me and Jiangshan, when you and XXX were good, of course you don't want them, as long as we were happy to be brothers and sisters together at that time. What's together? What is not to be abandoned? Abandon them all, just be happy and do it every day. It's easy for us all.

Thank you very much for taking care of me in the past two years, thank you for your love like a brother, and thank you for your tolerance of my unreasonable troubles, thank you for taking me to eat so many delicious foods, and we will talk freely to each other in the future, okay? In the future, we will go shopping together and have a big meal, okay? In the future, will you still coax me with candy like before?

Forget about this period of messy life, maybe I don't have the blessings of a thousand years of cultivation, hand in hand and walk together, but we can be very happy to go on forever, is this the true meaning of the sea shell you gave me "bergamot"?

I'm sober, and suddenly I'm relieved of my feelings, and it may take time to slowly erase the traces, so please promise me that if I happen to meet who you're with, just say hello naturally, and don't look at me with sad eyes that are afraid of me. I think I'll do everything I say, because I guess you're not happy and I'm not happy when I use words to sharpen you!

Well, this is the end of the party's instructions!

Wishing us a happy day!

Ikyu said, that's it, goodbye!

29 September 2006"

Cortana's handwriting was square, and my mind was messy. I didn't expect that I would bring her so much distress and sadness, I reflected on whether what I did was based on my brother's feelings for my sister, or was it really as she experienced, my care and care has gone beyond the scope of the so-called brother and sister, then I should pay attention to my words and deeds.

She's going to graduate school, I bless her.

Ambiguity makes people feel wronged

No evidence of love could be found

When it's time to move forward

When it's time to give up

After all, there are some things that can't be done

More than friendship

It's not love yet

Ambiguity makes people greedy

Until waiting loses its meaning

Helpless me and you

Can't write the ending