One of the most divine things about the big man is that the buddies in their dormitory took some walnuts from home and brought them to us to eat, when we ate walnuts, we squeezed through the door, and the big man was very disdainful of seeing us eat walnuts like this, so he took a walnut and put it on the table, and then directly slapped the walnuts into pieces. I almost fell out of my eyes when I saw this scene, and I just wanted to know if this big brother would have such a stunt as "breaking a big stone in his chest", because there was a girl from Cangzhou in our class who had practiced martial arts. The big guy has a big cup, the transparent one, and the things in the boys' dormitory have always been shared, and whoever is thirsty can drink it if he takes a cup with water, but only the big man has to smell it before we dare to drink it. Because once I witnessed him pouring two bottles of knives into his large cup, which was empty less than 500 meters from the school gate to the library, supposedly because he had been rejected for confessing to a petite girl in our class.

Summer in Shijiazhuang is not ordinarily hot, there is no air conditioning in the dormitory, and the way we go to the heat is to splash cold water directly on our bodies. The big one was troublesome, so he went to sleep on the lawn behind the teaching building with a mat. In order to resist mosquito bites, he deliberately wore socks, and slept on the lawn at night, where he could see the stars in the sky and feel the cool breeze, which was very pleasant. Helplessly, people are not as good as the sky, and it rained in the second half of the night.

I told Xiao Dong about a few gods in our class, she was very quiet, and she burst into tears and laughed after listening to me. The wine in our hands was gone, the night was slightly cool, and we came down from the roof.

"Are you sleeping here today?" I tried to keep Xiao Dong here for the night.

"No, I'm going to live at my sister's house today. Have fun, you guys. "Xiao Dong has no intention of staying.

"Well, okay, thank you for coming over with me, then I'll send you back."

"No need, I'll take a taxi and go back directly, it's not very far."

"Alright then, tell me when you get home." I sent Xiao Dong downstairs and accompanied her to stand under the street lamp and wait for the taxi.

After watching her get into the taxi, looking at her back and the taillights of the taxi, I stood for a while and went back to the rental house. I think she didn't stay, probably because I was afraid that I would mention it or we tacitly remember her past what she just said, this question haunts people's hearts, just like the virgin complex for men, I know I don't have a virgin complex, but I think of what Xiao Dong has experienced, I am very depressed.

Upstairs, Wei Laoer, Yuan Erye and a few of them were still playing computer games, and I shouted and asked them if they still had any wine.

"No, why didn't anyone stay, I left this house for the two of you." Wei Lao Er said angrily.

"Leave a fart, it's a big holiday, this is how to drink that and that, I'll buy some more, and I'll come back and drink it later." I think I should use alcohol to numb myself and avoid cranky thoughts.

"Okay, then you can buy it, who is afraid of whom." Wei Lao Er said.

"If you want to drink it, I won't drink it." Yuan Erye was a little cowardly.

"Whoever doesn't drink is a grandson, let Hongyun move wine with me." I pulled Ren Hongyun downstairs and bought two beers at the store downstairs.

There is no Xiao Dong, a few of us old men, you and I stubbornly fight together, none of them know what I talked to Xiao Dong, I can't tell anyone this secret, and then I was drunk.

In the days that followed, Xiao Dong and I decorated her daily rental house very warmly, trying to make the guests feel like home, and when there was no business, we would come here to shabu-shabu together, watch TV together, and laugh together. In this way, I may let myself forget all my unhappiness and sorrows, so I will miss the warm feeling of the smooth silk being in contact with the skin, I will miss the faint smell of shampoo on Xiao Dong's hair and the charming smell on the body, I will miss the morning sun shining into the house, I will lie lazily in bed and watch her prepare breakfast, I will snicker and thank God for letting me have such a blessing, I am satisfied at the moment.

But none of us can escape the fact that Xiao Dong is going to graduate, which means that she is leaving, it means that she may have to go to appointments, and it means that she has to face a lot of unknowns. We live happily, but the day of her departure is getting closer and closer, which invisibly makes people feel that the pain of parting is greater than the ruthlessness of reality, so I say that the biggest enemy in front of love is the extremely sharp knife of reality. I'm a hurt person and I'm afraid to get hurt again. Who would open their hearts naked for people to stab? I'm protecting all of this with a hard shell, well, very well protected.

One afternoon, with a slight breeze, we made an appointment to meet by the lotus pond at the school. The lotus leaves are green and soaked in the water, and there is not a single flower.

"Xiaofu, do you love me?" Xiao Dong asked me.

"Ah, why do you ask that, don't you feel it?" I looked at the lotus leaf with a somewhat wandering gaze, and did not look at Xiao Dong's eyes.

"I'll ask you to answer whether I love it or not, and you'll have to give me an affirmative answer." Xiao Dong asked me.

"Does it matter? Isn't it okay to be happy together? I prevaricated.

"It's important." Xiao Dong said very resolutely: "Then will you marry me?" Seeing that I hadn't answered her question, she continued to ask me.

"Huh? What's going on? What's wrong with you today, how did you ask these questions, I don't know how to answer you. "I'm a little puzzled about Xiao Dong's state today, why after making an appointment with me, it was a real meal, such a sharp question, I really haven't thought of the answer.

Xiao Dong didn't speak, just looked at me like that, I knew she was waiting for my answer, but I really didn't know how to answer her, I thought of her good, understood her thoughtfulness, but all the wishful thinking couldn't withstand the thought in my heart, it was like drilling the tip of a bull's horns.

"What's wrong with you today?" I know she's not the same today as she always is.

"I don't have much, you don't have to answer me, I know your answer." Xiao Dong said very aggrieved.

"What do you know? This question you asked is a bit old, I don't know how to answer you, I don't know what the future will be like. I explained.

"Then you don't even have the courage to say love? Even if you're lying to me. Xiao Dong was very excited, "Today my dad called me and asked me to deal with the school's affairs and go to Kunming when I graduate." Do you know what that means? ”

I nodded, I knew that I had disappointed Xiao Dong, the kind that was very disappointed.

"Xiaofu, do you think I'm playing with you, do you think I'm cheap?" Xiao Dong said excitedly.

"No, absolutely not, how can you think that, it's me who is not good, I am the one who disappointed you, I don't think so."

"Xiaofu, let me tell you, I love you. I'm doing this for my own happiness. Without the words of a matchmaker with no emotional foundation, do you think I will be happy? I've done my sister's and my grandmother's job, and I'm my dad's, and they've seen you, and if you give me a yes, I think I'll throw everything away. And you? Xiao Dong looked at me and said with some resentment, tears flowing clearly on her face.

And I, yes, I, I'm running away, I don't dare to love, I don't dare to give her a single promise.

"Xiao Dong, don't be like this, I'm sorry, I really can't give you any promises. You've graduated, you're gone, and I'm going to go on for two more years, will you wait for me for two years? Who am I to ask you to wait for me? Can I say that if I love you, you will not hesitate? "I don't feel good in my heart, I know I'm a bastard, I didn't say I don't want to be responsible, but I can't afford this responsibility now, this may be the reason for my strong words and quibbles, which reminds me of Yang, remembering that when she was about to leave Shijiazhuang, I didn't hysterically stay, I didn't put extravagant hopes into action, and clearly told her not to go. Now I am indecisive in the face of Xiao Dong, in the face of Xiao Dong's sincere feelings and practical problems.

I chose to run away again.

We all cried, crying without a voice.

"Give me back the ring!" Wiping away his tears, Xiao Dong told me.

"Why? Can't I leave it as a memento? I looked at her resolute expression.

"No, since you didn't choose me, what's the use of keeping it?" Xiao Dong said with a crying voice, tears rolling in his eyes.

I shirked it for a long time, maybe it was reluctance to give up this relationship, or it was unwilling for her to leave, or even annoyed with my own indisputability, although I struggled for a long time, I finally took off the ring.

Xiao Dong took it, took off his ring, kissed it lightly on the ring, and threw it into the lotus pond. She threw it freely, but she didn't take away the wound in her eyes. I've seen it all.

"Xiaofu, if you ask me, I will wait for you." After she finished speaking, she turned to leave.

I grabbed her: "Don't be like this, we're still friends, right?" Promise me never to cut me off, okay? Let each other know how we're doing, let each other know where we are, okay? ”

Xiao Dong had tears in the corners of her eyes, she nodded, turned around and left.

I looked at her back blankly, Xiao Dong, I want to hug you again, why am I suddenly disqualified.

Xiao Dong, it's not that I don't love you, but I can't afford to love you anymore. Do you understand this? Remember we agreed not to break the contact, and we both nodded.

Looking at the ripples on the water surface of the lotus pond, the afterglow of the slanting sun hit it, flashing a little yellow light, like a pair of yellow rings, and suddenly felt that it was like a tomb, burying my love with Xiao Dong, which was not beautiful at all.

Wipe away your tears, turn around, and leave.

We all need a new life.