In June, the weather was hot, and my mother moved out the fans that had been packed up at home very early, she didn't like the cold air of the air conditioner, and felt that the ceiling fans were more comfortable and environmentally friendly, so in the summer, only two ceiling fans in our house would be installed in her room.

It's already the beginning of the semester, but there aren't many things going on in the academy, and the elective courses I took in modern photography this semester are all concentrated in the month before the start of school, and by June 7th, it is the last class before the end of the course. My mother had agreed with me early on that when I had time to spare and I had no work schedule, she would take me to the mall all day to buy dresses and shoes to wear all summer.

She used to raise me as a princess like her family, and whenever the seasons changed, she always prepared early and bought the clothes for me for the season, of course, she liked it the most, and looked forward to the summer the most. Just as mothers all over the world want to pamper their daughters as princesses, and put on the most beautiful dresses and the most expensive and worthy of the crystal slippers, my mother also chooses the clothes for her daughter, hoping that the best dresses in the world will be worn on her, which is a thing for her to be proud and happy for.

During my years abroad, especially after I became obsessed with photography, I always felt that wearing a skirt outside was always not as convenient as pants, so I rarely wore skirts like before, but my mother still prepared some skirts for me as always, and sometimes she couldn't wait for me to be with her, so she would take my size and buy it herself, and when I got home, I saw the clothes she prepared for me hanging in the cabinet.

She was thrilled for today, but thankfully she didn't wake me up early to stay up late to process photos. It wasn't until 10 a.m., when we had breakfast at Mrs. Carr's house, that my mother took me out of the house for the first time with her apprehensive skills.

After the shopping mall, my mother told me that she had another task today, which was to cut my hair.

My hair has always been shoulder-length, which is the best length for me to maintain and easy to change, but I've been neglecting it for a few months and it's now grown below my shoulder blades.

When I told me about cutting my hair, I told my mother at home, and she was determined to do it for me herself, so she took scissors and a comb from the stylist and took over her work.

"Baby, I haven't seen your hair for years, and Mommy is a little nervous." She took a deep breath and said.

Miss Charlie and I looked at each other in the mirror and smiled at each other. I patted my mother's hand resting on my shoulder and told her, "It's okay, you can cut it boldly, you are my mother, and no one makes me believe more."

Miss Charlie heard me say that she winked at me again in the mirror, indicating that she was still skeptical and hesitant.

She said to me: "Xiaoxi really admires you, I have never asked my mother to cut my hair, let her cut my hair is better than just shaving my head." ”

The mother replied to her while cutting her hair: "What's this, in our place, the first time a child cuts his hair after he is born, it is cut by his elders." It is very important for children to shave their children's hair, and some parents will keep their children's hair as a very precious gift as a souvenir. She looked into my eyes in the mirror, "When He Xi was full moon, it was her father who shaved her fetal hair, and we also asked a master to make a brush, her grandfather and father both had one, and later we also sent one to her enlightenment teacher." ”

"Wow, really, it feels great." Miss Charlie first heard about this custom, and she felt it novel.

My mother said to me: "Xiaoxi, do you remember that when you went to your grandfather's house to practice calligraphy, your grandfather put the brush on the pen stand in the study, and when he was in a good mood, he would use it to practice calligraphy, and he also taught you to use it, but he was usually reluctant." I nodded, and she said, "Actually, your dad has it too, but he always keeps it as a treasure and rarely uses it." ”

She combed my hair with her hands, "It's been a long time since I've helped my daughter comb my hair like this, as if you were still when you were a child, you lay next to me, and I combed it with my hands like this, thank God my little padded jacket slept peacefully in my arms tonight." ”

I said, "If you want to cut it in the future, it's up to you to cut it well, just like before." ”

She blinked and handed the scissors to Charlie: "I'll cut it, I'll give Charlie the rest, I'll wait for you on the side." ”

Miss Charlie was a little confused, and she whispered to me as she washed my hair, "Why do you feel that Aunt Luo is suddenly a little sad?" ”

I replied, "Every mom is going to be sad if their daughter grows up too fast." ”

"It turns out that my mother was like this for a while, and that's why." Miss Charlie suddenly realized, and she was very happy to ask me, "Xiaoxi, what hairstyle do you want to do today?" ”

When I went back, it was already evening, and this time I changed the car, and Mrs. Carr was kind enough to ask us to have dinner with her family, but she was a little disappointed to hear that we had already eaten in the city.

While I was changing, my mother was in the room to help me pack my things, she took out the new clothes, put the part that I was going to wear recently into my suitcase, and the rest into my cloakroom.

"The Communist Party didn't rest for a few days, and it had to run out again." She heard my voice and said to me as she folded her clothes, "Tell Katsuki when the day will pass?" ”

"Wednesday."

The last time I had a video with Mr. An, my roommate who lived with him that day was also there, and we said hello, and his roommate suddenly asked me if I would go over to attend their graduation ceremony, and Mr. An was about to tell me, and he also asked me if I wanted to go.

I said that such an important day, of course, I should attend, and then Mr. Ann said that it could be passed a few days earlier, and he planned to take me to play around Ann Arbor for a few days. It just so happened that the school was going to be closed at that time, and of course I didn't refuse, and I also told my mother that I would go to Mr. An's school as soon as the school was over.

"Kashu is a good boy, not to mention his character, knowledge and talent. I also watched him grow up, that child hasn't changed for so many years, and he really loves you. Mother said.

I said, "I haven't changed over the years, and I'm better for him." ”

Mother smiled: "You, you, it's still the same as if you haven't grown up, you also have to have a measurement." ”

"I'm serious, you see that he has also taken the initiative to contact me over the years, I wrote to him in the first two years and he didn't reply, and then I wrote him an email on his birthday and New Year's Day, and he always replied very little. Am I not more in love than he is? ”

The mother paused, opened her mouth to say something, but did not say it.

"Okay, good, you love a lot, you win, okay?"

I muttered, "I'm not here to win, I just want you to know, lest if I quarrel with Katsuki in the future, you only help him and not me." ”

"You clever ghost." My mother smiled and turned around to pinch my nose, "You are my child, even if Katsuki is good, even if he is wrong to you, I will protect you." ”

"That's great, thank you Mom." I hugged her waist and said coquettishly.

I think she's in a better mood than when she came back, and she's happy.

"When are you going to tell the hospital about your resignation?"

I said, "Wait until the semester is over." ”

We talked about this topic on the phone with my teacher last week, I want to open my own gallery and studio, and I don't have so much time and energy to do other things, so I had better quit my job at the hospital.

I told my teacher that I would never forget what he said, that to become a good photographer, there is a long way to go, and we must continue to learn and not cut off the communication in art. The school is an important place to maintain the exchange of artistic creation, back to basics, and if it is possible in the future, I am still willing to go back to teaching.

"Got it figured?" Mother asked this time.

"Yes, I've figured it out."

"I'm not coming back this time, I'm going straight to Springs?"

I said, "Yes, from Durango then." "As for going to Durango, I'll always be with Mr. Ann.

"Is it okay for you to go alone?"

"No problem, Jean Ge

Take a break for a while. I said, "They have photographers on their team, and this time I'm mainly working with them." ”

"Okay." The mother sighed, and said, "It's so good to be a daughter, and you can't even worry about being a mother." ”

I said, "How can there be a child who doesn't let parents worry about it?" I pointed to the suitcase, and then to the shopping bags I had brought back, "These are all these, and you don't have to worry about much more than that." ”

The mother said, "It's not enough." ”

"Come here, daughter." My mother sat down on the couch and gave me her hand, and I reached out to hold hers and squatted down in front of her.

She combed her hands and ran her fingertips around my hair, caressing them gently.

"Baby, I remember when I was pregnant with you, and I don't know if it was a boy or a girl, and your father and I prayed every day to give us a beautiful little princess. In the late stages of pregnancy, your grandfather couldn't wait any longer and wanted the doctor to tell us, but your father and I insisted on waiting for a surprise. When you were carried out of the delivery room, your father did not dare to hold you, and he did not want to take his eyes off you, I waited anxiously in the delivery room, wanting you to return to me as soon as possible. Later, when we brought you home, we were reluctant to let anyone touch you, even if we didn't want to look at you more, and your father and I couldn't even believe that we really had a daughter for a long time. No one understands how much joy we have, so much apprehension. ”

I asked her, "Why are you talking about this all of a sudden?" ”

When I was a child, Yun Niang often told me about my infancy, because I didn't have a memory of what happened at that time, and she retold it to me. My mother was a new mother and was very nervous about everything about me, and if she didn't see me for more than half an hour, she would worry about whether something bad had happened to me. Later, when I went to sleep in the nursery alone after I was one year old, Yun Niang and my father persuaded me for a long time, saying that it would help cultivate the child's independence, and my mother was willing to agree.

She shook her head: "Xiaoxi, when you become a parent, you will know what your parents' hearts are, and you may not understand it now." When you are already able to hold our hands with your little hands, your father and I swear that we will give you the best in the world, and that we will block out all the wind and rain for you as you grow up, and you will be free to do whatever you feel right. But when you were 17 years old, you were still holding our hands, and my father and I let you go first. Later, I can no longer protect you as before, and you don't rely on me as much as before, and sometimes I think to myself, I don't even know why, my baby is getting older, and the little girl who should have been hiding in my arms has to take care of me and take care of this family. ”

I looked at her, and there were tears in her eyes, but she was smiling.

In fact, I can understand her very well, as a mother, no matter whether she has the ability or not, she always hopes that her children can always be sheltered by herself and not suffer from the cold and persecution of the outside world. She was already ashamed of not being able to give me a complete home, and she always wondered if she had failed to fulfill her responsibilities when I was pursuing my life goals alone. Although she can't usually express it, it can be seen in her eyes.

But it is only natural that children will eventually grow up and one day leave their parents. Only when parents are still parents, and when children are still children, their hearts are still connected.

I also remember when she first found out I was smoking at home, she was sad all night. She panicked and blamed herself, afraid that she didn't know what happened to me, because the mother would know the nature of her child, and if he really learned badly, she would blame herself, and our hearts were still connected at that time.

Mother also said that the last time Jing Yao had an accident, she was not in China at the time, and she knew the news because Jiang Li called her. She didn't know exactly what happened on the wedding day, only that Jiang Li had said that my situation was worse. She was like crazy trying to make sure I was okay, but I was in a coma at the time, Jiang Li was by my side, and I wasn't sure when I would wake up.

I still have a vague memory of that time, I only remember that I fell from the second floor with Jing Yao that day, and then when I woke up, I saw my father and mother together at Jiang Li's house. Later, when I returned to Vancouver because of urgent problems to deal with at work, what happened in China during this period was relayed to me by my mother much later.

None of us expected that Jing Yao would choose such an extreme way to leave us on the wedding day, everything happened suddenly, and everyone was caught off guard. Although the wedding was held in a private place, and the scene was blocked as soon as the incident occurred, Mayor Chen was taken away by the police at his own daughter's wedding in full view of everyone.

Jing Yao, as she said in her letter, gave her father the most deadly revenge without hesitation, and the rest of the people will respect the will of the deceased no matter how sorry they are.

It was in the spring and summer of 16 that I returned to China to visit my father, and I went to the cemetery to pay respects to Jing Yao. I was not the only one holding the lily of the valley flower that day, and Mr. Feinan, whom we had met two years ago, and we had a few words, and it was he who told me that the letter was found and sent to me when he was sorting out Jing Yao's relics.

Mr. Feinan told me that Jing Yao's mental state had been unstable a few years ago, but she had been taking medication, so they all thought that Jing Yao would be fine eventually. He also told me that before they got married, they had a fight over work, and he always regretted it, and often wondered if Jing Yao hadn't been disappointed in him that day, would she not have made the same choice at their wedding.

The Si people have passed away, and there is only long thinking. I am not a witness to the love or not love between him and Jing Yao, or the feeling of not loving enough, for Mr. Feinan, I regret it, I can't comfort him, but I also hope that he can live a good life in the future.

My mother confessed to me later that what happened to Jing Yao made her sad and sad, and suddenly made her understand the truth of being a parent. She said that Lao Ma once told her that children grow up watching the backs of their parents, and what children see in their parents, they will grow up. She saw that Lao Ma Aizi had made a mistake and embarked on the road of no return to crime, and she also saw the sadness of Jing Yao's life experience. It was only after seeing this that she was afraid of what would happen if her marriage to her father broke down and caused me irreparable damage, so she was glad that I was stronger than she thought.