The moment I saw the man, my heart stopped beating for a moment, but my brain was still able to think normally.

How could he be here? Isn't he on the western frontier?

Strangely, however, I was surprised to see him, but my mood was surprisingly calm.

"Guest! You're in the wrong room, it's the one next to it. ”

One of the men quickly chased him to the door, and when he saw him standing still, he took out the fire breaker and lit a candlestick at the door.

The room was lit up by firelight, and I saw his eyes narrow, then widen suddenly, his gaze locked on my face.

I looked at him for a moment, and let out a secret breath.

That's it, if he and I are destined to meet, we can't hide if we want to.

His expression was strange, and he looked confused, as if he didn't know what was going on.

He tentatively stepped forward. I took a step back and distanced myself from him.

He continued to step forward, and I continued to retreat.

The guy didn't understand what was going on. "Guest?"

I said calmly, "This fellow is beging you to go out first and close the door." ”

Since you can't hide from it, let's make it clear to him.

The man left, and the two of us were the only ones left in the house. He stood like a fool.

I didn't rush to speak, but lit the other candles in the room before returning to him and standing five paces away from him.

He still didn't speak or move, as if he was discerning something, and his eyes wandered over me.

I didn't consciously look at him.

He's lost a lot of weight, and his face is more angularized than when I was with him five years ago.

It was as if he had lost his soul, and he stood so stupidly.

Gradually, a bitterness rose from my throat and spread throughout my mouth.

I smiled bitterly in my heart.

After all, I'm not hard-hearted, and it's impossible not to be emotionally moved when I see this person again.

Just, why is it so bitter?

He finally came to his senses and looked up to meet mine.

His eyes were full of doubt, amazement, and disbelief.

These emotions turned into a monstrous wave that seemed to engulf me.

I didn't say a word, I didn't do anything, I just looked back at him who was breathless.

Actually, it's not like I didn't think about what I would do if I met him again.

I've thought about it a long time ago.

Whatever he did back then, the damage he did to me is a fact.

I wouldn't forgive him anyway, but I didn't expect him to behave like this when he saw me again.

I looked at the man in front of me, felt a little sad, and sighed softly. "Empty ......"

Hearing me call him like this, his body shook slightly.

"Yan'er...... It's really your ......."

He stepped forward a few steps, his hands resting on my shoulders, his lips trembling. "It's really you ......"

When I got closer, I saw that his eyes were full of mist.

The next moment, in an extremely strong way, he took me in his arms.

He hugged me so hard that I was a little out of breath.

I wanted to push him away, but I couldn't lift my hand anyway.

Suddenly, a strong wave of grief wrapped me tightly.

I can't forgive him, but seeing him now, seeing him so close to madness because he was reunited with me, my heart still hurts inexorably......

"I'm not dreaming, am I? …… Yan'er ...... I'm not dreaming, am I? ”

His body trembled slightly.

The bitterness in my throat was about to force tears out of my eyes, so I took a deep breath, forced myself down, and said in as gentle a tone as possible, "Let's sit down first." ”

Hearing this, his body stiffened visibly.

As if he had discovered his gaffe, he sniffed lightly, and then slowly let go of me.

"Okay."

He took my hand and passed his temperature to me.

This used to be the temperature of my greed, but it was also this greed that pushed me down the abyss.

I sat down with him on a soft couch next to me.

His hand was slightly moist by him, and he wanted to withdraw his hand, but he held it tighter.

He closed his palms to my hands, and was silent for a long time before he slowly spoke:

"These five years...... How are you doing? Where have you been? I thought you were ......"

I avoided his fiery eyes and replied calmly, "I'm doing well." ”

However, it was still difficult to calm his heart, because he thought I was dead......

He didn't care about the detachment in my words, and smiled bitterly. "That's good......"

He paused before asking a little timidly, "Why didn't you come back to me all these years?" You've been ...... With whom? ……

Recently, Shen Fengyue was in Night City, this ...... Is it a coincidence? ”

The last sentence was a difficult question, and there was uneasiness in his eyes.

I smiled coldly. "Didn't you already guess everything?"

His eyes darkened, his lips moved, but he didn't utter a word. After hesitating for a moment, he said with difficulty: "He ......"

"He's been very nice to me."

"Really?" He tugged at the corners of his lips and slowly let go of my hand, and the pain in his eyes made me tremble at the sight.

I don't know what he's going to do next.

I still remember that many years ago, I drugged him and fled him to go north with Ah Ran. He was unquenchably angry when he took me back......

So what about this time?

Will he do anything extreme like he did last time?

The hand hidden in the sleeve clenched into a fist, ready for what might happen next.

To my surprise, he didn't react in any way, just grabbed my wrist and pulled me out.

I felt uneasy and broke away from him.

He turned around and smiled bitterly. "Yan'er, you go back with me, and I'll listen to you slowly, okay?"

He...... How calm is he?!

His abnormality made me even more uneasy, and I unconsciously took a step back.

He stepped forward to meet me. "Come back with me, okay?"

"Nope." I refused without hesitation.

"Why?" The pain in his eyes that had receded resurfaced.

Without waiting for me to answer, he grabbed my wrist again, this time much tougher than before.

I shook him off again, only to be pressed against the wall by his backhand.

"Why?"

"I don't like you anymore."

Questions and answers are done at almost the same time.

"What?" His voice was a little hoarse and faintly shaking.

I looked straight into his eyes. "I said, I don't like you anymore."

Little by little, his eyes lost their brilliance.

"And who do you like? …… Shen Fengyue? ”

He was almost silent when he said the last few words.

"Yes."

I replied simply, hoping it would make him die.

I clenched my fists tightly, ready for his ensuing fury.

"Okay, I got it...... You go back with me first. ”

His voice was soft, but it was like a punch to my heart.

Before I could recover from his words, he took my wrist again.

I shook it off as usual.

"Ling Niankong, I won't go back with you, didn't I say it clearly enough?!"

His reaction was so unexpected that I couldn't force my composure any longer, and my voice was raised unconsciously.

He trapped me between his chest and the wall with his arms.

"It's clear, every word is clear.

You don't like me anymore, you like someone else......

But so what?

I still like you! I still love you!!

As long as I can protect you, I won't let go! ”

Everything he said was so laborious, as if it had consumed most of his strength, but the tone was like that of a willful and stubborn child.

His eyes suddenly brightened, as if something was surging.

The last line of defense in his heart was completely shattered by his words, and the bitterness in his throat rushed straight up even more.

His eyes seemed to be filled with strong liquor, burning painfully.

Is this still the Ling Niankong I know?

When we met again, I learned that I had been with other men all these years, and he did not get angry or aggressive, but just wanted to take me back, in a good way......

No, it's not him, he's not like that......

Tears could no longer be suppressed, and they fell.

Perhaps my shock was too obvious, and he tugged at the corners of his lips.

"What? Didn't expect me to be like this? Think I'm a different person? ”

He laughed to himself again, and gently touched my cheek to wipe away my tears.

"Yan'er, you are so surprised because you don't know how I have spent all these years......"

He cupped my face and slowly pressed his forehead up.

I tried to dodge, I wanted to push him away, I wanted to run away like this, but I couldn't exert half of my strength, and my whole body was stiff like a stone.

He lowered his eyelashes slightly and said softly:

"I searched for you for five days when you fell into the water, but I still can't accept that you may have ......

I've been sending people looking for you for five years.

Every night, when I close my eyes, all sorts of thoughts come flooding back:

I wonder if you were taken by the river to a place I didn't expect, if I didn't look for it carefully enough.

If so, you won't get hurt. If you are alone, will you starve, will you feel cold, will you be afraid......

These thoughts are driving me crazy......"

He left a little and picked up my face again, his eyes glowing with bitterness, but also pity.

"So I thought, as long as you're alive, as long as you can come back to me, whatever you become, I can accept it.

You don't like me anymore, so what does it matter?

You're still alive! You're alive......

In the future, as long as I like you, it will be enough.

When we were together before, the affection you gave me was enough, enough for me to spend the rest of my life.

I don't care if I can get a response from you or not......"

Every word he said was so affectionate, but to me, it was the most bitter and painful punishment in the world.

I now know that he loves me to the point where he loves me.

But the damage he caused me at the beginning was also real.

What am I going to do?

What am I going to do?!

Do you want to accept him?

But what he did before has left an indelible scar on my heart, and it is a hurdle that I will never be able to overcome in my life.

So...... Continue to reject him?

If I refuse him with all my heart, it should not be difficult for him to tolerate me now.

But how could my heart hurt so much?

It's just a rejection of him, and it's not like nothing before, but why can't he say it anymore?

Suddenly, it became a little difficult to breathe.

Every time I inhale and exhale, my internal organs are in pain.

I couldn't hold it back anymore and started sobbing.

He continued to wipe my tears, and when he saw that I was crying more and more, his voice was a little softer:

"Yan'er, you don't like me anymore, I don't blame you.

You are a weak woman, living in a foreign country, without any support. At this time, it is human nature for a man to stand up and protect you and give you warmth, and you will like him.

What's more, you already knew him...... I can understand ......"

"Don't say it, don't say it......" I leaned weakly on his shoulder.

If...... If he had been like today, how could we have suffered the things that followed?

But everything that should have happened has already happened, and I can't forgive him, but I can't be ruthless......

He smiled and continued softly:

"Yan'er, I won't force you to forget him. I just want you to give me another chance, give us another chance, okay? ”

I gritted my teeth and said with difficulty, "No." ”

"Why?"

He saw my determination in his eyes, and the sadness in his eyes was even greater.

"Why?

I've said it all, I won't mind, but why don't you want to go back with me?

Yan'er, please don't do this to me.

I'm going to really go crazy like this......"

The pain in his eyes gradually turned to despair.

"I remember it all......"

Saying this was like exhausting all my strength.

Hearing this, he was suddenly stunned.

I slipped limply to the ground.

"Ling Niankong, I remembered everything.

I remembered who I was, I remembered what you had done, I remembered what choices I was forced to make......

Ling Niankong, I really want to forgive you, but I'm sorry, I'm still too cautious, I can't do it......"

After a long silence, he slowly squatted down, his face pale.

"I really didn't want to hurt you back then.

I'll admit that I did have another purpose in approaching you in the first place, but I really like you.

Even if you couldn't tell my sincerity at first, but after you came back, we were together again, and I liked what you were like, you couldn't be clearer......"

"Really? Heh......"

I suddenly thought it was funny.

"Ling Niankong......" I looked up at him with a panicked face, and continued: "What I gambled on back then was your sincerity. But I lost the bet, and I lost...... It's fate. ”

I looked at him with a mocking smile, despite the tears on my face.

Back then, I was a cold and shallow person, and I was careful to watch out for anyone around me, but I was negligent to him.

Between him and Ah Ran, I resolutely chose him, but what about him?

Only then did I realize that my decision was a big gamble, or a big gamble that I was sure to lose.

When he heard what I said, he grabbed my arms sharply, and the green tendons on his forehead bulged.

"What do you mean? What are you talking about? Didn't you ...... because of the emperor's condemnation back then?"

His words paused, and he pondered for a moment before he continued:

"There must be something I don't know, right?

Tell me! I don't want us to be separated just because of a misunderstanding. ”

Seeing him like this, my mind calmed down.

"Misunderstanding? Yes, it was a misunderstanding. Back then, I mistakenly thought you were sincere to me. ”

"Yan'er, I'm sincere, I'm sincere!"

His hands holding my arms unconsciously exerted force, and the chagrin and panic in his eyes were something I had never seen before.

"I can explain what happened back then.

Your father and brother are still alive though they have been condemned, and I have replaced them before the execution, and I am afraid that you will ......."

"I don't have to explain."

I interrupted him.

"I don't want to hear it."

"Yan'er!"

As if he had nothing to do, he angrily pressed me against the wall.

I was caught off guard and grunted uncontrollably.

He suddenly woke up, relieved his strength, and breathed a sigh of relief, before he said in a depressed manner:

"Don't you want to see your father and brother?"

The tears on my cheeks had long since dried, and I hooked my lips slightly, and my words did not carry a trace of emotion:

"If I'm not mistaken, they must have thought I was dead, right?

There's nothing wrong with that, after all, I'm really the same person now.

In that case, it is better to ...... It's gone. ”

Hearing me say this, the brilliance in his eyes dimmed completely, and as soon as he let go of his hand, he let go of me.

Little by little, his head drooped, as if he had lost his life.

Looking at the man squatting in front of me, I finally didn't want to stimulate him anymore, so I lowered my voice:

"Ling Niankong, thank you for looking for me all these years, thank you for not acting as radically as before, thank you for ......"

Before I could finish my sentence, he looked up suddenly.

"What happened back then that I don't know? Tell me! ”

His eyes were frighteningly red.

"So want to know? Okay, then let me ask you a question, do you know to whom my chastity has been given? ”

This matter, even when I was with him again after my return, was a tacit taboo for the two of us. And the person who cares more about the answer to this question is undoubtedly him.

Sure enough, he was suffocated when he heard the words, his eyes suddenly widened, and his lips trembled, but he didn't say half a word.

"Don't you want to know what really happened? Now, do you still dare to listen? ”

I looked at him and waited for his answer.

Ling Niankong is a smart person, if I say this, he must be able to roughly guess what happened at that time, and naturally think that if I really tell him the situation at that time, then we will be completely finished.

For a long time, he did not speak again.

I also felt the need to stay any longer, so I stood up.

Because I squatted for too long, as soon as I stood up, I felt dizzy, so I leaned against the wall uncontrollably.

When he opened his eyes again, he was already on his feet.

"Do you really want to go back to him?"

He regained his composure, and he was like two people who had just lost his temper.

"Yes."

"He's from the North."

I didn't understand what he meant, but I saw frost in his eyes.

"I can't share the sky with the north.

If you are with him, you are my enemy. ”

Is he inseparable from the North?

I looked at him in amazement.

He pursed his lips tightly, his expression was very cold, and it didn't look like he was lying.

Could it be that he has a grudge against Beili? But how come I don't know at all?

"Do you really want to be my enemy?"

He looked me in the eye and waited for my answer.

"I don't want to be an enemy of anyone, but I must stay with him. If that makes you see me as an enemy, then we'll be enemies. ”

He suddenly sneered.

"Yan Linxuan, you have to think clearly, it's not a pleasant thing to be my enemy."

I smiled too.

"Really?

But I seem to remember you saying that fortunately I am not your enemy, otherwise you would not dare to think about the consequences.

But now, you can start thinking about it. ”

After speaking, I stopped looking at him and walked straight out the door. This time he didn't stop me again.

But when I reached the door, I heard him gritting his teeth and hating:

"Yan Linxuan, don't ...... Regret! ”