I stared at my eyes wide, my mouth wide open but I couldn't breathe, I couldn't cry out for pain, I couldn't scream for pain, it was more painful than the first time I fell out of love, the feeling spread from my back to my whole body in an instant, my hands tried to cover my back for a while, and then I hammered the ground frantically, and my head was 'tearing' my neck high, as if I had to break my throat to offset the indescribable pain!!!

I don't know how long it took me to turn around and lay flat on the ground, and it was only then that a voice finally came out of my throat—

"Ahhhh!!!!h

The deafening screams made me barely feel like they were coming from me, and the sound spread to every wall of the warehouse and reflected back, the loud sound and oozing echo as if there was a mad beast in the warehouse venting the dullest anger in my heart!

Why! Why is this happening!!

My scream is not only a catharsis of pain, but also a roar of anger at Sun Aiqi and myself!

I thought I was different! I thought that after so many things, I was completely different from the past, I didn't hesitate when I held a knife, I didn't blink when I killed, I didn't get tangled when I was determined to forget, I didn't shed tears when I shot my mutated brother! But why am I still here to be branded with this virtue by this senior who has always been high up before! The advantages that I finally took for granted were always wiped out by him in the blink of an eye, and what has become of the opportunity for revenge that I have tried so hard to abandon human nature!! I......

Boom!!!

My eyes instantly went black, and the huge force hit my head, causing my body to roll out involuntarily, and I don't know how many times it rolled before stopping.

The world has finally been quiet again.

I lay on the ground, I had no idea in my head, if it wasn't for the pain in my body, I would have thought I was dead, but even if it hurt my body, I couldn't make a sound.

"Look at the way you look now," Sun Aiqi didn't chase after him, but only his voice drifted into my ears, "You don't even have the qualifications to be killed by me." ”

I didn't make a sound, and I couldn't make a sound.

"Actually, you don't want to avenge Luo Junjie at all, right?" Sun Aiqi said: "You are just trying to find an excuse for yourself to vent your heart. ”

I don't have the strength to give him a middle finger now.

"Maybe you did want to kill me out of anger when you saw me pushing Junjie into the zombie horde, but since you entered this warehouse and fought between the two of us, you shouldn't have that idea anymore, or you can't remember it at all."

"You've been scared, even though you've gotten used to people dying, at least that's what you think. It's as if you only mentioned avenging Junjie, but you didn't mention the other people who left you at school, like the soldier, and the big guy, the sick little girl, and the doctors in your team, etc., including the people who left you before. Although you feel that you are used to this parting, you are still very scared, and your eyes betray you. ”

"Not only are you afraid of the possibility of someone leaving or dying in the future, you are not only afraid of the possibility that you will die at any time, you are even more afraid of someone taking away your position as captain!"

"This doesn't mean that you are greedy for power, but because these few people in this team, or someone in the team, they are the only property you have left."

"Since the end times, I think you must have lost a lot. You said that the purpose of your life is to find your parents, but you always tell yourself to protect and protect the precious people or things around you. You thought that as long as you were fierce enough and had a sharp blade, you could protect them. But the reality has always told you that it is useless, even if you hold the toughest knife in the world, you can't stop them from leaving, this is the reality. ”

"So you feel scared, you feel scared, scared of the time when you will lose the people around you, afraid of the time when you will never see them who died again. It is a sense of fear that comes from within you, a sense of powerlessness against reality that no matter how hard you try or risk your life. You don't need to refute it, through the observation of you in the past two days and the conversations with the people around you, I have already judged this kind of thinking of yours, and I also know this kind of thinking deeply, because I have also come this way, and I have already begun to experience this before the end of the world. ”

"I've been there, so I know that this feeling of powerlessness is a concept of extreme fear, and that's enough to make a person crazy, even completely insane, into a psychopath. I think you've made all sorts of efforts to get rid of this powerlessness, and probably even used your blade to stain the blood of innocent strange survivors, so as to get the pleasure of killing and the admiration of others...... I heard that when you were at a foothold before, everyone woke up in the morning to find that you and Di Yan were both covered in injuries, and then explained to everyone that it was because of how to eat cabbage...... Only you know what is going on. ”

"Because of this powerlessness, in addition to leading people to survive, you will also seek all kinds of ways to free yourself from the torment brought by your own mind. You give yourself the title of captain, on the one hand, because your character will never be controlled by others, on the other hand, it is also to add a motivation to your sense of powerlessness, so that you can be more decisive and decisive, although you are not a qualified captain, but this name gradually invisibly makes you a lot stronger, and the responsibility brought by this name is also reduced or covered up your ' The powerlessness and fear that comes with losing, although you didn't want to be controlled by others and didn't want to share responsibilities and troubles, but you have to admit that you fell in love with the feeling of being a captain, which can also help you find a lot of excuses when doing things, such as 'do it for the sake of the team' or 'avenge whom'. ”

"But when you meet me, there is a sense of fear, maybe you used to have it, but now you really realize that now you are very afraid of losing the title of captain, losing your only remaining team member, you are afraid of being deprived of your team, because you also know that you are not up to the job, and you also know that there are many people in your team who are better than you. So you're afraid of the people who want to separate your team, you're afraid of me, you're afraid of being left with nothing again, and then you're going to be tormented by that fear and powerlessness. ”

"So you have to strengthen your captain's reputation by killing the people who split your team, and prove yourself stronger by killing your enemies, including your teammates. Because my appearance just gave you the object to prove yourself, I have always been an insurmountable figure in your heart in the past, and now if you can kill me, it will bring you a lot of motivation and support, and make you more established in your position. And Junjie's death just gave you the conditions and opportunities. So you don't care who you're avenging for, because revenge is just an excuse. ”

Sun Aiqi didn't have any pride or contempt when he spoke, he just told these words plainly.

I don't think I should listen to him so honestly, I think I should cut his mouth open with a knife, but I can't do it, not only because the pain in my body doesn't allow it, because I feel that I can stand up, but I feel that I can't stand up, as if I am pressed by a mountain, no matter how hard I struggle, it is completely useless, and even my upper and lower mouths can't even move to reject Sun Aiqi's statement is wrong.

"Get up," Sun Aiqi finally ended his tirade and said in a slightly relaxed tone, "If you want to prove me wrong, then stand up and tell me." Get up, my junior, and the one I used to care about the most. ”

After listening to this, I felt that the 'mountain' on my back suddenly disappeared, and I didn't get curious, but slowly climbed up.

Until I stood up completely, images flashed in my mind, and there was a memory of the person in front of me—

It was the first time he took me to the dormitory assigned by the school; It used to be him who told me all the interesting things about the college campus with a smile on his face; It used to be him on the basketball court in the evening, so I was staring at the basket, not allowed to shoot, only dribbling hard; It was he who stood up and helped me stop the punishment when I was arrested for skipping class many times and staying in the dormitory to sleep; It used to be him, a big star in the academy, who was ridiculed by me fiercely when he blushed because he saw Zhou Xue, and beat me up again......

I didn't say much, just took a few steps forward and picked up the real night on the ground again.

"I know you're in pain," Sun Aiqi said, "and I knew from the time I heard that there was a girl in high school who left you because of an accident. Although Junjie is your best brother in college, he can't get into your heart either, let alone others, let alone in this last days. Maybe the only one who can help you share it now is the little fat guy who used to come to you when he was in school...... So I don't expect a few words to move you, but at least you know that I will forgive you for whatever you have done, and you can hate me and kill me, but I will not hate you. I just hope you'll be braver. ”

I rushed up again, staggeringly.

The air-splitting Maya cut through the dark corner of the warehouse with the afterglow of the blade, only to experience sharp pain in the wrists and shoulders, and the handle of the knife once again came out of his hand.

I can't even hold a knife.

The blow to my chest made me almost lose my breath, and the elbow that followed almost smashed my jaw out of place, and the crunch of my teeth shook half of my face.

After a blow to the jaw, my brain sank deeper into chaos again. Then the familiar feeling of being kicked went from my body to the top of my head, but I couldn't even feel what I was kicking.

My body flew upside down like an off-string kite, and it slammed into an iron lump on my back before sliding to the ground, and a pile of discarded empty cardboard boxes was smashed up and flying again, and in the blink of an eye, it almost buried me in this dimly lit corner.

At this moment, it was as if I had lost all sensation in my body, my limbs could not move at all, and my eyes were completely dark, but I could feel the blood dripping from my nose and mouth.

The feeling of pressure brought by the weight of 10,000 pounds in front of me told me that there were many things that smashed on my face, although I was a little out of breath, but I still couldn't stretch out my arms and easily pushed them away, so I could only let it be.

Whoosh!!

I don't know what the weight of my body collapsed, and I collapsed down again, this time falling steadily to the ground, but there seemed to be a lot of cardboard between my back and the ground.

"As a captain in the last days, the most important concept is to be resolute and strong, and the most important responsibility is to decide and bear."

Sun Aiqi's voice came again, and it was only when I knew that there were only ears in my body.

"Obviously you're still far from it. Rest assured, I won't kill you. I just hope that through this time you can understand something, and then become stronger, and at that time, if you are still alive, I will come to you. Don't think I'm crazy, I know exactly what I'm doing and what I can do. ”

"By the way, and the word revenge is nonsense at all. People mention this word all the time, and that just proves your incompetence. You promised your relatives and friends to protect them well, but something happened, and then you forgot your promise and lived for revenge. But don't forget that your promise was to protect them before something happens, not to avenge them. The word is nothing more than an excuse to escape the guilt in the heart, and finally the revenge is successful, and then go to any random place to count a tombstone and ask for their forgiveness. But the person you promised to protect has already left, and you will only deceive yourself about what you do, and then after a while you will slowly forget, and then you will make promises to others. This is a terrifying reincarnation, and it is also a universal nature that people cannot abandon. ”

"So for the sake of the people around you, you also have to become stronger, so that you can protect them and not avenge them."

After being silent for a while, Sun Aiqi spoke again: "It seems that your friends can't wait, then I should leave too." I won't kill you, my team members who were killed by you, they are dead, and I won't pursue it anymore. I will do this because I live for a different purpose than people like you, so you won't understand it. Now, I need you to help me get out of here. ”

When he said this, I vaguely heard a knocking sound from the other side of the gate, as if Lin Yue was shouting something......

I said that I was going to wait for me in the car, who asked you to come over, see if I turn around and don't spank you......

I had a boring thought, and then I heard Sun Aiqi's footsteps getting closer and closer.

……………………

Before I started writing this diary, I had a casual chat with Di Yan, and after listening to my retelling of Sun Aiqi's words, he just said thoughtfully: "I didn't expect that there would really be such an ambitious madman......"

Maybe I won't be able to understand what Sun Aiqi did for a long time to come, or maybe I'll never know.

On Monday, February 25, 2013, in the afternoon, in the back lane warehouse of Goku World KTV.

"Infidelity is a condition that can only be cured by death."

Among the few sentences that Sun Aiqi just said briefly, this one impressed me the most, and it seemed to explain to me the reason why he killed Luo Junjie.

The reason why he was still in the mood to talk to this was because I was now lying among the clutter between the two rows of shelves, and my body strength had long been drained, and my weak arms were so weak that I couldn't even push the box on my face...... Of course, I was branded by him for this virtue.

Now, it seems that the battle for the warehouse is finally coming to an end, and the result will undoubtedly end in my fiasco. And from what Sun Aiqi said just now, it is not difficult to hear that he wants to use me as a shield next, so as to force my teammates to let him go.

At this time, Lin Yue's voices were outside the warehouse gate, I don't know if they had any reason to violate my order to keep them in the car, but they came now, but they were blocked by the warehouse door, and the door was stuck with a stick when I came in by myself.

Listening to Sun Aiqi's footsteps approaching, the word 'self-inflicted' just popped up in my head.

The footsteps disappeared around me, and then the clutter on my face and body was lifted open, and the first sight of the skylight made my eyes shake at the same time, but I quickly got used to it.

Sun Aiqi was beside me at this time, and seeing that I was still open, he leaned forward again, his body blocked the afterglow from behind, and said with a smile: "We should go." ”

Boast!!

At the end of Sun Aiqi's exit, there was the sound of a bag of heavy objects falling to the ground, which made Sun Aiqi immediately take a step back before looking at the source of the sound.

I also subconsciously squinted to look, but with just a slight movement, my head drooped to the side, and even my eyes hung down weakly...... Luckily, the head was hanging in the right place, and I could see exactly where the sound was coming from.

It was the innermost corner of the warehouse, and a hole appeared in the wall about a man high, and beams of light rushed through it. Thinking of the sound of the landing just now, it seems that something that was originally blocked there fell for some reason, thus revealing the hole that had long been broken but hidden.

A few seconds after the entrance of the cave was in front of him, an elegant figure slowly paced out and stood on all fours at the entrance of the cave. From here, the light from outside hit the back of the thin black body, making it even more dim.