Once a woman falls into love, it is like a pilgrimage, there is a blind sacrificial spirit, forgetting life and death, loving heaven and earth, but forgetting to love herself.

—Epigraph

Xin Xiaoyue listened to Zhang Jiaying's words, lowered her eyes, did not speak, and her inner thoughts were like the wind blowing up and down the chaotic curtain at the floor-to-ceiling window.

It wasn't like she hadn't thought of doing that before.

But the result of doing this is nothing more than two:

One is to get Wang Xuan's response, a good couple, from then on, every minute and every second is a beautiful scenery; The other is that Wang Xuan has no intention of her, because this layer of window paper is pierced, and it will be very embarrassing for each other to get along with each other. From then on, she could no longer be near him, gradually, perhaps a light year away.

Xin Xiaoyue couldn't imagine how sweet the beautiful scenery of Liangchen was, but when she thought of not being able to stay by his side, and even greeting him naturally and casually, she felt that her breathing was painful.

She has always been brave, and in this matter, she is indeed cowardly.

She is like many girls who are in love for the first time, only to be good to him, to make herself beautiful, and then, quietly waiting, one day, or flowers.

"If there is no flower blooming day, at least you can be by his side." She wrote this sentence in her diary.

Once a woman falls into love, it is like a pilgrimage, with a blind sacrificial spirit, forgetting life and death, but forgetting herself.

"Why don't you get the hang of it?" Zhang Jiaying sighed, and then said, "Forget it, the boss is right, emotionally, you are an ostrich." ”

"You're still talking about me in private." Xin Xiaoyue seized the opportunity to change the topic.

Zhang Jiaying smiled and said, "The boss also said that when the male god comes back next time, let you tell us." We've got you covered. ”

"Don't." Xin Xiaoyue hurriedly shook her head.

"We're not helping you confess, or we're just helping you try the male god."

"Don't." Xin Xiaoyue refused very simply.

"The next time the male god comes back, remember to tell us." Zhang Jiaying ignored Xin Xiaoyue's objections, picked up a hair dryer and went to the room, and before closing the door, she turned around and said to her, "You must hurry up and make up for sleep, I'm sleepy." ”

Zhang Jiaying yawned and closed the door. Xin Xiaoyue was still sitting in the living room and did not move. The wind came in through the floor-to-ceiling windows, blowing the curtains up and down, carrying the chill of spring.

After sitting for a while, convinced that Zhang Jiaying was asleep, Xin Xiaoyue found a long blue windbreaker to put on, took a small object for self-defense, and tiptoed out the door.

It's past midnight, and even the brightly lit Jincheng is not there during the day.

Xin Xiaoyue walked out of the community, and outside was Jiangbian Road. Xin Xiaoyue is usually in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, and she can see the beautiful scenery of the Jinjiang River. And across the road at the entrance of the community, it is the riverside.

The riverside lights are brilliant, shining on the tall flowers and trees, and shining on the surging Jinjiang water. It can be used as a place where high-end communities gather, and it is still a long distance away from the commercial center, so there are few people walking around this section of the river. So, the light shone on the silence of the riverside.

Xin Xiaoyue gathered her windbreaker, crossed the road, and walked to the river. The wind of spring and March, with the cold of the steep, blew the trees up and down, and rattled.

The moon in the sky was still there, but it had become faint and indistinct.

On the other side of the river, there was a faint sound of singing, and before I could hear what it was, it dissipated in the river breeze.

This is the most romantic area of Jincheng, this side of the river is a residential park, a historic site on the bank of the Jincheng River; On the other side of the river, there are many bars and cafes, which are real nights and belong to the fashion of Jincheng.

Xin Xiaoyue stood by the river for a while, looking at the shops around her with their lights out, thinking that if she wanted to find a pharmacy that was still open, she would have to go to the other side.

So, she walked a little further, crossed an old bridge, and went to the other side.

After walking for a while, I saw a pharmacy with lights on, and most of the drugs sold were imported medicines.

Xin Xiaoyue walked in, and there was only an eldest sister in her thirties on duty, bored, and scrolling through Weibo.

When she saw Xin Xiaoyue walking in, she immediately put her phone aside and asked enthusiastically, "What do you need?" ”

"Urgent...."Xin Xiaoyue is not a person who twists, but in the end, she is a girl, and she is still a little uncomfortable when she talks about the name of this medicine.

"Emergency contraception?" The eldest sister looked unfazed.

Xin Xiaoyue saw that the eldest sister's expression was not disdainful, nor was there any yin and yang weirdness, so she relaxed slightly and nodded.

"Which brand do you want?" The eldest sister asked again.

Xin Xiaoyue naturally knew that there were various brands of everything, however, how could a girl who had never tasted anything usually study these?

She was a little embarrassed by the eldest sister's question, so she answered truthfully: "I don't know what brand it is." ”

"Oh. So do you want to be a little more expensive, or a little cheaper? The eldest sister said, skillfully taking out four or five kinds of medicine from the medicine rack behind her and placing them one by one on the counter.

"It works best." Xin Xiaoyue replied.

At this time, she had no intention of criticizing the patient's simple and crude sales art. I just want to leave no future troubles and minimize the loss this time.

"Well, it's not expensive." The eldest sister said, picking out one of them and handing it over. At the same time, she said earnestly, "You are good-looking, this is a natural advantage." You must be vigilant and don't act recklessly and waste your advantage. ”

"Thank you, big sister." Xin Xiaoyue thanked her obediently.

The eldest sister scanned the price of the medicine and said, "A good-looking girl like you will always meet all kinds of people with bad intentions and bad things. In short, a woman should take care of herself. I got this medicine once or twice. The side effects are too great, and it is a great damage to the woman. It may cause endocrine disorders, menstrual irregularities, spots and acne. ”

The eldest sister said very sincerely, and she really cared, and Xin Xiaoyue only thanked her for the kindness of strangers.

However, the next moment, the eldest sister took a bottle of medicine directly from the shelf and said, "Eating with this can reduce side effects, do you want to bring a bottle?" ”

"How much?" Xin Xiaoyue knew that the eldest sister was selling, but she also asked in passing.

"146." The eldest sister said very sincerely.

Xin Xiaoyue didn't have much money. The living expenses given by the Xin Mansion can't live for ten days with food, and she doesn't want to move the money left by Wang Xuan. Usually, she works as a tutor, translates foreign manuscripts, etc., and saves all the money she earns in case of emergency.

Now, Xiaoyang is in the hospital again, and it is the time when not a penny can be wasted, so Xin Xiaoyue shook her head and said to the eldest sister: "Thank you, I just buy this." ”

The eldest sister was not angry because she didn't buy the recommended medicine, but wrapped the medicine and handed it to her, and told her with a pleasant face: "I can see at a glance that you are very clean and so beautiful, anyway, you can't let anyone be a blessing in the future, this kind of medicine, in short, can not be taken again." ”

Xin Xiaoyue seemed to see her mother. In the past, my mother always told me like this.

Her nose was sour, she tried to smile and nod at her eldest sister, then hurriedly said "goodbye" and quickly turned around and walked out of the pharmacy.

On the riverbank in the middle of the night, there are many bars, and there are drunk fashionable men and women coming and going, drunkenly walking in the cold wind of spring and March.

Whether passionate or ethereal music, the bright lights illuminate this river as if it were day.

Xin Xiaoyue left the pharmacy, found a convenience store, bought a bottle of mineral water, walked to the riverside, found a stone bench to sit down, and swallowed the whole medicine at once.

Although I swallowed it at once, I still felt the bitterness of the pill.

On the bank of the brightly lit river, the surging river water is flowing endlessly, and the cold wind blows over, blowing Xin Xiaoyue's hair.

What she felt was not only the bitterness of the pill, but also the malice brought by fate.

So, on the bank of this empty river, facing the surging river, she dared to unscrupulously think of those hidden and ordinary pains:

The pain of her mother's death, the hard life of digging herbs and catching snakes in Yunjiagou, and always beware of harassment and injury by hooligans in the village;

When she arrived in Jincheng and found her father, Xin Xiaoyue thought that everything had improved. Unexpectedly, the so-called relatives turned out to be such goods.

Uncle is also gone, Xiaoyang has a car accident again, and he has encountered this dirty thing....

What Xin Xiaoyue didn't dare to think about was unscrupulously remembered at this time, she sat on the empty riverside, covered her face with her hands, and cried whining, tears rolling out from between her fingers.....

Because of the fragile catharsis, Xin Xiaoyue, who has always been cautious, didn't notice that someone was standing there in the flowerbed behind her, looking at her silently.