When I was a child, I had the habit of keeping a diary, and everything was recorded in a notebook, but then I couldn't find it in the notebook, and I forgot everything.

Eight months ago, I met a very interesting boy, and the things I was busy with came to an end, and I suddenly wanted to start remembering something again, whether I was happy or sad, I just felt that it was so rare that I didn't want to forget.

I call him Paige and he calls me Lele.

Not to mention the past eight months.

Yesterday I apologized to Paige. I drank too much and lost contact, and I managed to get forty or fifty more missed calls on my phone. It's ridiculous to say, I'm a person who doesn't like to apologize, and even if I apologize, I don't get off the hook. I've discussed these things a little with Page before, but the results aren't clear.

I'm very disdainful of things that I think are mindless, like 'all she wants is your apology blablabla'. I always try to deal with the relationship between two people with reason, thinking that everyone should be harmonious and not quarrel about anything, but because of this, there are a lot of conflicts between me and Paige, and in the end of the argument he often says, "Is it so difficult that I just want an apology?" "At this time, I always thought that I was generous enough to cooperate with him and say sorry, which added fuel to the fire and made him even more angry. Although Mr. Page has no less charm than the characters in the novel, but the angry Page does not make me have the mentality of the protagonist of the novel, this boy is so cute when he is angry, it turns out that no matter how beautiful a boy is, when he is angry, he can be comparable to a Tyrannosaurus rex, and there is not much difference between a girl who comes to the aunt. He will first reason with you calmly, and then brew for a while and the storm will hit, and finally he will become like a Tyrannosaurus rex forced to eat greens with grievances and disappointment in greens, and hang up the phone to make you think about it...... Presumably it was too late to say these sorry before, after all, Tyrannosaurus rex eats meat, what is a plate of sorry vegetables?

And yesterday, in the face of forty or fifty missed calls, my unreasonable heart was empty, thinking about it again and again, I held the mentality of saying sorry anyway, and simply said sorry first, but I didn't expect that in my mouth, he often unreasonable asked for only 10 days not to drink, and then easily turned the page. In fact, I'm a little confused and unaccustomed to it now, and I'm thinking a lot of things, including he's afraid he doesn't love me, isn't he uncomfortable, and then is, he's really not angry? Shall I apologize again? In the end, this was the end of the matter???

I think very few people can really recognize their mistakes and apologize willingly, including me, the straight woman of steel, never think that they are wrong in their hearts, and don't want to say sorry even if they say it is very reluctant type, after this incident I began to think back to the previous quarrel, in fact, every time I finally said sorry, part of it was forced not to continue the quarrel, and the bigger part was to go along with his mind and didn't want him to be angry again, I thought he should be happy that he had made a step back and gave in, but otherwise, every time it ended miserably. And this time, he apologized before he broke out, there was no need to argue and argue, and it didn't take long for him to be happy again. I was at fault, I shouldn't have drunk so much alone without him, and I drank until I lost contact. Actually, I'm not afraid of him getting angry, I just don't want him to be unhappy, but why can't I get over that hurdle in my heart before and don't want to say I'm sorry, and saying I'm sorry a little earlier can avoid a lot of contradictions and make him happier. I used the skills I have learned all my life to reason with him, and it is not as useful as a small initiative to be useful.

The boy I like, I will love you well tomorrow and make you so cute all the time.