Chapter 15: Gray Memories (I)

Jin Se looked at the closed door, a little speechless, she turned her head and looked at Xuan Ming with a playful expression, with a hint of provocative air in her words:

"Alas, Xuan Ming, look at Minglong like that, is he a little bit like Qingyan?" Xuan Ming looked at him coldly, there was no temperature in his eyes just now, Jin Se was feeling strange, and he heard his indifferent voice:

"Qingyan is a little girl, Minglong is also messing around, he hasn't grown up yet, and he has begun to worry about other people's affairs." Jin Se looked at Xuan Ming's face that suddenly turned yin, and was a little worried, so he asked:

"Don't talk about him. What about you? What happened to you? Is it because the wound hurts, why did your face change all of a sudden? As he spoke, Jin Se leaned closer to Xuan Ming, wanting to reach out and touch his forehead:

"Are you hungry? Why don't I go and make you something to eat? Before Jin Se's hand touched Xuan Ming's forehead, he was knocked off by Xuan Ming, he seemed a little impatient, but it was obvious that he didn't want to speak, he just shook his head. This frightened Jin Se, she looked at Xuan Ming in a daze, and couldn't say a word. Xuan Ming seemed to realize that his reaction just now was a little wrong, so he took a deep breath and said in a hoarse voice:

"I'm sorry. I'm fine, but I suddenly feel very uncomfortable, can you go back first and leave me alone for a while? After saying that, Xuan Ming turned around and looked at Jin Se, and there seemed to be an element of prayer in the emotions in his eyes. Jin Se couldn't help but feel a little distressed, but she had no way to tell Xuan Ming.

What's more, Xuan Ming has never spoken to himself like this, how helpless he was just now, Jin Se wanted to stay with him, but Jin Se knew that she couldn't, even if she cared about Xuan Ming again, there was still an invisible gap between them, and the secret in Xuan Ming's heart had no intention of sharing with him. This is the Xuan Ming she knows, she carries everything by herself, and doesn't give her a chance to care about him at all, so she pushes her away so coldly. Maybe he had his own reasons, but this kind of stubborn obstruction also made Jinse feel cold, this is the person she loves, and she has no way to disobey his thoughts.

So, Jin Se could only get up quietly and walk straight out of Xuan Ming's room, all she could do now was to leave Xuan Ming a space that only belonged to him. The moment the door closed, Jinse suddenly felt a lump of lead in her chest, and the dull feeling seemed to suffocate her, and she kept exhaling heavily, trying to slowly dissolve the lump of lead.

In the room, Xuan Ming was a little uncomfortable in the suddenly quiet environment, he sat for a while, slowly sat up straight on the bed, reached out to lift the quilt, twisted his body, and let his feet on the ground. He bowed his head deep and buried his face in the palm of his hand.

There are some things you have to face, don't you? Even though you've avoided talking about him for more than a decade, it's still there, piercing deep into your skin when you touch him inadvertently, reminding you of your inseparable relationship with it. The pain goes deep into your bones, and it's coming at you with its teeth and claws.

Shangguan Hong.

What a familiar and unfamiliar name. Xuan Ming quietly recalled that more than ten years had passed, and when he heard his name again, he would still be so disgusted, and those old memories would still reappear in his mind. He remembered the name that had been abandoned by himself:

Shangguan Xuan.

In this way, he should have called Shangguan Hong a father, but when something reappeared in his mind, that thick hatred began to surface again in his heart along with helplessness. He had to think of the only woman who brought him warmth when he was young. That's his mother.

After so many years, Xuan Ming seems to have forgotten his mother's name, but his mother's appearance has become an eternal pain in his heart. But he was so powerless. Young children, even themselves, need to be protected, and what can they do to protect others.

If according to the dignity of the normal family, Xuan Ming should be the second son of Shangguan Hong. His mother was a singer who was once famous in Kyoshi. If Emperor Zhongli, who had never been in charge of the government, had not found Shangguan Hong to assist him, there would have been no such thing as Xuan Ming's mother marrying Shangguan Hong, and there would have been no Xuan Ming's existence.

Vaguely, before Xuan Ming's mother died, when Xuan Ming was still a child. At that time, Xuan Ming was very naughty, often making his mother angry, and often his mother would cry very aggrieved after being angry, Xiao Xuan Ming didn't understand why his mother shed tears, and he didn't know how to make his mother happy. So he could only watch from a distance, not daring to take a step forward.

But again, Xuan Ming made his mother cry again, and he hid behind the door as usual, quietly watching his crying mother. Shangguan Hong didn't know when he stood behind him, and then took Xuan Ming in his arms and went to his garden.

Xuan Ming remembered that it was the only time Shangguan Hong had spoken to him a lot over the years.

The angel of that day was a very special kind of blue, as if soaked in milk, with a slightly mellow feeling, and a few wisps of white clouds swept the sky lightly. Shangguan Hong sat on the stone behind the rockery and let Xiao Xuanming sit in his arms.

That day, Shangguan Hong told Xiao Xuanming how much he loved his mother, not because of her mother's beauty, let alone because his mother was a gift from the emperor, but because Xuanming's mother made Shangguan Hong feel at ease, and that kind of care without any interests made Shangguan Hong feel very safe.

Xuan Ming still remembered that Shangguan Hong's eyes when he talked about his mother revealed this unconcealable tenderness, and at that time he knew that Shangguan Hong loved his mother. Those warm and touching words are also true.

Shangguan Hong said a lot that day, and the other Xuan Ming didn't remember, but after Shangguan Hong said so much, he looked at Xiao Xuan Ming again and told him how much his mother loved him, and she cried because Xiao Xuan Ming broke his heart. So Shangguan Hong asked Xiao Xuanming to go back and apologize to his mother.

Sure enough, he was still a child, and under the touch of those words, he really followed Shangguan Hong back.

Xuan Ming was most impressed by his mother's expression when she heard him apologize, restraining the smile on the corner of her mouth, and even pretending to be still angry and hitting Xiao Xuan Ming's body with her hand, but those high slaps on her body did not hurt at all, and even made Xuan Ming think about it in the future, it was all sweet.

Then his mother began to laugh, when his mother laughed, she looked at Shangguan Hong, and it was from then that that Xuan Ming knew how deep his mother's feelings for Shangguan Hong were, if it weren't for this, maybe after everything became cruel in the future, Xuan Ming would not hate Shangguan Hong so much, as if resentment deep in the bone marrow.

Yes, if it weren't for Shangguan Hong's deep affection for his mother, his mother might not have died.

Thinking so, Huo Di stood up from his bed, he gasped deeply, and he felt that the lead block in his heart was growing at this time. He moved to the table and reached for the jug to pour himself a glass of water, his hand holding the handle of the jug trembling a little. He walked to the window with a glass of water.