When I was in eighth grade, for some reason, some boys in the school liked to bully the weak in groups, and this problem bothered me a lot.

I'm not naturally compassionate, because I'm also a vulnerable person, so I hate guys like that.

At that time, there was such a boy named Guo Fei in the class, he was short and thin, and the teachers often said that he was a monkey spirit, but he didn't put his mind into studying. The eyes were bright, and I was given the impression of a restless feeling of the excess enthusiasm of adolescence that had nowhere to be released.

For some reason, he is always surrounded by several boys who are taller and stronger, rough and powerful than him, fighting, mischievous, skipping classes and disrupting, resisting teachers, playing bad school bullying games, and always bullying classmates like No. 2 and Xiaohong.

After I helped a male classmate at my next table, Guo Fei found me and asked me to help him with his homework and cheat on exams, in exchange for anyone who bullied him would cover me.

I refused.

Then, the books, notebooks, pens, and bags in my desk pocket were scattered all over the floor. Guo Fei glanced at me with a hippie smile.

I didn't panic, silently picked it up, and glared at him with the same eyes, but I didn't speak. Continuing to read on my stomach, he took the book from my hand and threw it on the ground for me.

It made me angry. I looked at him angrily, and he was still looking at me with a hippie smile.

I didn't pick up my book again, I sat quietly, he still looking at me with a hippie smile. After a while, he lost his patience and left.

I chose neither humility nor arrogance, refused to give in, and refused to be bullied at school.

It reminds me of the puppy in my aunt's yard.

Once, on the July Day, I went to my aunt's house with my relatives. Her dog was leashed in the yard and barked at me. Then, I thought it was fun to learn to bark at the dog as well. My cousin smiled and said to me, "The dog barks at you, you just ignore it, is it possible that he bites you and bites you back?" ”

However, I also heard the old saying at the time, "A dog that barks doesn't bite, and a dog that bites doesn't like to bark." ”

I learn how dogs bark, and dogs don't bite me. Unless I provoke it, when I learn from my aunt's puppy, the puppy will bark more and more fiercely, and then I will bark louder and louder, and the puppy will want to pounce on me when he is anxious, but fortunately there is a chain to pull it. However, I would not be reconciled, glaring into its eyes, louder than it screamed, and walked forward. Instead, it will retreat, bark smaller and smaller, and finally hide. When I wasn't looking, he started yelling at me again. Therefore, I do not bully the weak, nor do I sympathize with the weak for no reason, and I never show weakness in my heart.

As for Guo Fei, I already know something about it in the seventh grade. From my friend Yuxiang.

In that era of youth and ignorance, Guo Fei liked and pursued Yuxiang. Although many classmates asked Yuxiang, she would only silently admit that she curled her red lips and said with a smile, "I didn't promise." ”

This makes me even more confused, I don't know how Yuxiang managed to make poverty a shining point in her, now that I think about it, maybe she was born in a difficult situation at that time, and the truth of self-improvement.

When I tried to tell others how I felt, no one wanted to accept an inferior self-esteem, and my Chinese teacher felt that I was inferior, and said, "You have to believe in yourself, if you don't believe in yourself, then who will believe in you." ”

But I've always believed in myself, I've just learned to have low self-esteem.

Forgive me for being a rich kid from a rich family, and he doesn't know what inferiority complex is. He only knows that the opposite of low self-esteem is self-confidence. To be confident is to believe in yourself.

Because he is the son of a rich family, I don't know much about him. From what he told us and what other teachers had learned from his middle school days, and then, strung together into a simple narrative timeline, for example, he was admitted to university at the age of 14, and after graduation, he traveled all over his country, and when he started his business, he sniffed out the business opportunity to make money and opened an Internet café. Before he could make much money, he had compassion for the world, closed the Internet café and engaged in the education industry.

In less than 30 years, my Chinese teacher has become a knowledgeable and experienced scholar in the education industry. Understand that the antonym of the rich is the poor, and the antonym of self-confidence is inferiority, and his parents have already suffered for him and accumulated material and psychological capital. So he understands the self-confidence of the rich, but I don't know if he also understands the inferiority of the poor child.

So he can speak righteously and impassionedly: a girl is no different from raising a pig, and a boy is like a mule blindfolded without education. You should really go to the prisons and see those who have sinned in society without reading and let them tell you how important it is to study. You should really go to the poor mountainous area to see an old man in his sixties, walking more than 20 kilometers with his luggage, but he doesn't even know 20 yuan. You ought to have seen the dry smile on the face of a woman with her head covered and in tatters, holding a child and begging in the cold wind......"

My Chinese teacher, with his rich experience and inspirational words, inspired us poor and confused children to go to the right path in the world, I am deeply grateful.

But it still didn't solve my survival problems. I'm just a kid, and I can't think of a way to solve a problem.

I just tried hard for a while, and I got even more confused. Why did his words make me feel guilty for my parents and make me feel even inferior.

Later, I slowly understood a truth: my inferiority complex stemmed from the material and spiritual deprivation of the previous generation. Who to talk to, how to speak, and answering questions do not make me feel that I am not inferior, but because the speaker is well-informed and knowledgeable, always saying things that I have not heard or seen, and my heart is more eager and envious, and I fall into a deep inferiority complex.

It's not that I didn't study hard, but I had too many questions in my head that I couldn't figure out, and I couldn't answer them, so my memory was confused.

I think most people will ask me how it is possible, and the teacher will say, "Reading can change your fate." ”

But what is fate? How did you change through reading? Admission to university? So why do there still exist people like college students Yao Jiahui and Wu Xie Yu?

So, I think the self-confidence of the rich and the inferiority of the poor are essentially survival skills. Perhaps there is no need to eliminate the inferiority of the poor because of the self-confidence of the rich. If a poor person is not inferior in his heart, it means that he has spoiled himself for the sake of the environment.

So, it comes back to the question of whether human nature is inherently good or inherently evil.

In fact, in order to adapt to the environment, people change their nature only to fight for the resources of survival, and there is no good or evil.

At the level of survival, the inferiority of the poor is a pursuit of advantages and avoidance of disadvantages for the poor themselves, who are both materially and spiritually lacking.

Therefore, the poor do not have to feel inferior because of inferiority, and philosophically speaking, the negation of negation is affirmation. If you have low self-esteem, then find the source of your inferiority complex and satisfy yourself. Either on a material level or on a spiritual level.

But this way of satisfying oneself can easily make more people lost and confused. Material satisfaction is often easier and simpler than spiritual satisfaction. This gave rise to the word nouveau riche, and at the same time there will be a word to match it, "if virtue is not matched, there will be disaster", but the degree and form of this disaster are different.

And spiritual satisfaction is inseparable from the foundation of eating, drinking, and sleeping, so in order to eat, drink, and sleep better, we all need to have some spiritual pursuits. Material and spiritual pursuits are like the DNA double helix structure in human genetics, which can be passed on to our next generation through biological evolution, ideally, from generation to generation.

When I was in junior high school, maybe because I read too little and thought too much, I wouldn't have such a deep understanding, but I often had such a cranky mind that it was difficult to calm down and even I would be disgusted to want to destroy it, so I couldn't tell it, let alone other people.

Although I am vulnerable, I am only poor and I need someone to tell me how to get out of this situation and not be protected. I can't bully classmates who are weaker than me, people like Xiaohong and No. 2, although they sometimes have a nasty side.

So, I rejected Guo Fei.

He threw my books and bag on the ground, and I didn't say a word, because I already had a knife on my heart.

Therefore, even though I had a sweet smile, suitable for all ages, no pollution, and my image of being voted by democracy for the top three good students in the exam, I just silently tore it to pieces and threw it in the trash when no one was paying attention.

Guo Fei has become an alternative to the school, and the superfluous enthusiasm of youth has nowhere to vent, for some reason, he often does some bad things, smashes the glass with his hands, the teacher coaxes in class, skips class for several days, and fights with other classmates......

My homeroom teacher finally couldn't help but go to his house to invite his father, and we learned that his father was a butcher and he didn't have a mother. When his father learned of his deeds at school, he took off his shoes and tried to beat him in the classroom, and he dropped out of school. After dropping out of school, we often passed by a car repair shop to repair other people's cars, and when we often went to and from school, we could see him covered in paint, gray-headed and dirty on the bottom line of the car, holding a wrench.

It is said that he was married when I was in college. The bride was a girl in our eighth grade class, and she had a happy ending.