In addition to preparing sacrifices for his wife without moving, he must also prepare some things for the old ghost, Xiaomeng, and Uncle Niu who closes the door on the Qingming Festival. No matter what the situation of these people is in their lifetime, but after they are acquainted, they are still more enthusiastic about me, Xiaomeng needless to say, Uncle Niu is not bad, not to mention that he has to stutter a little, although the old ghost is not doing his job, but he is honest, and it is good to listen to him when he is in a bad mood.

Of course, Xinya didn't know about the existence of Xiaomeng, the old ghost and Uncle Niu, so I prepared the sacrifices for the Qingming Festival in the name of my wife.

"What's the matter with you, why are you preparing so many things this time?" Xinya found that unlike usual, my offerings this time were not only ordinary offerings, but also things for women, as well as cigarettes and alcohol.

"Qingming Festival is not a big festival, except for wine, it doesn't cost much else." I had to prevaricate, the wine was a real thing.

"Where's this dress? So trendy? When your wife died, this style wasn't on the market yet, was it? Xinya counted the things I bought and commented.

Maybe it's because of my weak heart, I always feel that Xinya has something to say.

"It's because my wife didn't catch up with the good times that I wanted her to experience the breath of modern life." It was meant to be perfunctory, but I didn't expect to poke my weakness when I talked about this, and my heart was not even better. Because my wife always stood with me in difficult and hard days, but then when the days were better, she left, and she didn't have time to enjoy it.

"I think you're getting more and more superstitious." Xinya helped me tidy up and criticized me at the same time.

I had to laugh and say, "I heard that if a person dies and has no chance to be reincarnated, life over there is also very difficult. ”

Xinya pursed her lips disapplausively: "Who are you listening to nonsense, people are just praying for psychological comfort, people are dead and a hundred, how can there be any difficulty." ”

"You enjoy the blessings of the world, so it's better not to plot with the dead?" I don't want to explain it to Cinyado.

"Okay, good, you have a good heart, I won't say it." Xinya rarely argues with me, nor does she rebuke for some unnecessary things, even if it is a major issue, she is polite and courteous.

Perhaps it was her wife-like personality that made me so accommodating to her when she made unreasonable or even absurd demands.

I suddenly remembered that Xinya rarely talked about giving her deceased parents, nor did she burn some paper money offerings for them during the New Year's holidays to express her grief and remembrance of her deceased relatives.

"By the way, do you want to prepare some paper money for your parents or something, I've never seen you mention this."

Xinya looked at me puzzled: "My father and my mother? Then he shook his head: "I don't even know what they look like, I don't have any impression at all." ”

I was also confused for a while, and forgot about her amnesia in the car accident.

But just because they don't remember doesn't mean they didn't exist.

"In the future, you still want to order your parents during the New Year's holidays, and burn some sacrifices for them, you are the closest person they live in the world, you don't remember, you can't change the fact that they raised you, you say, right?"

Xinya looked at me blankly at first, and then promised, "Okay, I'll listen to you." ”

======

After Xinya accompanied me to burn the offerings in the evening, she should have gone back to my place with me to stay under normal circumstances, because I was ready to go down that night to continue looking for my wife, so I excused herself and said that she had something to go out at night and might not come back, so she went back to her own residence.

Xinya was a little incomprehensible: "You are busy with your business, I don't get in the way of you if I live at home, why let me go back to my residence?" ”

"I... I'm afraid that I'll come back late and make you sleep, and besides, if you drink too much, I don't want you to see me drunk. ”

Xinya raised her eyebrows: "Huh? Then I have to live at home, if you drink too much and no one will pour it if you want to. If you vomit and don't clean it up in time, it will smell so bad. ”

I took myself into the ditch again.

"I'm just using the analogy, I don't drink."

Xinya looked at me even more suspiciously, her face flushed, and then asked with a smile: "You don't want to take a woman home for the night, do you?" ”

I made a gesture of reaching out to shave her: "What nonsense are you talking about, look at me like that?" ”

Xinya dodged away, and did not insist on staying with me anymore, but told me to drink less, as if in exchange, to prepare me to continue to tell her the story the next day, that is, my past with my wife.

After sending Xinya away and returning to the villa, I began to prepare to find my wife.

My lakeside villa has two floors, and there are two rooms on the second floor, one is the study and the other is the bedroom for me and my wife.

My wife has been gone for ten years, and I have not changed the furnishings in the bedroom at all, and it has completely maintained the appearance of my wife when she was alive, except for the things that my wife used often, such as cosmetics, towels, toothbrushes, toothpaste, slippers, and pajamas, and I will change them regularly and change them with new ones, everything is the same as when my wife was alive.

I prefer to create an illusory illusion as if my wife has never left me, and has always been in this house, right next to me.

And that study, after my daughter went to college abroad, was transformed by me into a starting point for me every time I went down to find the soul of my wife.

The study was originally relatively simple, except that a table of eight immortals was placed in one corner, an incense altar was placed on the table, and the portrait of his wife was hung on the wall.

Later, the study made me feel like a mourning hall, but I didn't ask anyone, it was purely according to what I knew about my wife and my own.

I added a single bed to my study, and every time I went down to look for my wife, I would lie on the bed or sit against the wall, calm down, chant mantras and hypnotize myself, and finally I felt that I had gone to another world as light as a swallow.

On the opposite side of the bed, I also added a tall strip table, and took the portrait of my wife off the wall and rested it on the strip table, so that I often took it down to clean up the dust on it, and more importantly, when I miss her, touching the portrait is like touching my wife's face, or holding it in my arms is like hugging my wife.

Directly below the long table is the miniature version of the Eight Immortals Table, on which rests an incense altar and sacrificial cups, plates, dishes and props.

Whenever I miss my wife, or have something to say to her, I will put a few pillars of incense into the incense altar and say a few words.

Although Xinya often stayed with me later, she rarely went up to the second floor, but only went to see these things and furnishings as a visitor, and in front of Xinya, I said that it was for the memorial service of my wife.

"Aren't you going too far, so you don't feel panicked when you sleep next door?" This is what Xinya said to me when she first entered this room.

"It's okay, I'm used to it."

"If your wife can still know that you are so infatuated and worried about her, she must feel that it is in vain for your wife, and she is very happy to die."

"I think my wife would have preferred to live happily."

"But the truth is that people are dead and can't be resurrected."

I smiled, not responding, and unable to respond.

What I am most worried about is whether my wife is doing well over there, whether she will feel lonely and miserable like an old ghost, whether she can receive what I give her, whether I have never forgotten her, and I have said hello to her on every holiday. If she really felt so happy and contented as Xinya said, I would naturally be much relieved.

But I just didn't hear from my wife after she died.

At 12 o'clock in the middle of the night, I turned off all the lights, left only a burning candle on the table of the Eight Immortals, completed the steps taught by the master, and then lay down on the single bed, waking up like from a dream, and floated over there......