- Who am I?

Whether it is in the past or the present, or in the distant future, countless ancestors, sages, and idlers have thought about it like this.

There are countless answers, and so are the answers. However, these answers are meaningless, they are just the spark of thinking based on the respondent's own world view, outlook on life, and values, and they are just the induction and summary of their own thoughts. Each individual will have their own mind, whether it is a creature or a dead thing, whether it is a fairy or a demon, this is the common character of all thinkers.

It may be influenced by the outside world, but it will never be completely assimilated...... Otherwise, life is no longer an individual.

Life is such a strange existence.

Thinking about it this way, maybe it doesn't matter who I am anymore, after all, I've been living here since I thought about it.

That's right!

It may also be the case that the collection of 'me' in the eyes of many others is the world's definition of 'me'.

It does not belong to me completely, but it belongs to the perception of the vast majority of people as an individual.

Although this 'me' is not me.

......

......

The calendar has torn off a page, and it is a new chapter.

Fenghua City Sixth Avenue, Xinjing Apartment, Room 405.

It is not far from the Third People's Hospital of Fenghua City, and the transportation is convenient.

Due to the place of work, transportation conditions and housing prices, many staff members in the hospital choose to settle down here and live temporarily. Hey, the city's traffic is always a problem that makes people shake their heads and sigh, and the **** city is even worse.

Early in the morning, Mu Lian got up early.

After brushing her teeth, washing her face, and tidying up her room a bit, she began her familiar day.

There was a bus stop not far away, and as soon as the bus stopped, a large crowd crowded up. Even though the scene in front of her was already so familiar, the huge flow of people in the morning still gave her a secret headache.

She didn't like the crowded environment.

It's Sunday, the weather is excellent, and when I look up a little, my eyes hurt from the summer sun. She narrowed her eyes and shifted her gaze across the road...... It was a couple of young men and women wandering the streets, and three of the girls were dressed up in bright colors.

In her puzzled gaze, someone beckoned to her.

"Yo, Makuren, aren't you on vacation today?" a girl wearing a hot pants vest and a very angry girl held her boyfriend's hand next to her and shouted to this side. This girl is about 165, not too tall, not fat or thin, and her figure is just right. Her little melon seed face was completely devoid of her previous cowardice, and her smile was like a flower.

"That's it, Mulian, are you sleeping? Come on, let's go back and change into cool clothes, we are going to climb Mt. Forgetful today, and then we will have lunch at the tea restaurant 'Ming Ju Ya' on the mountainside. Hehe, the food there is super delicious, so come along. ”

Makuren recognized that the three girls were her colleagues, and they were so different from when they were in the hospital and wearing white nurses' uniforms that she didn't recognize them for a while.

By the way, what are they called......

Forgot?

I don't know?

Didn't notice?

Forget it, just forget about it.

"That's it, it's rare for Xiao Mu's boyfriend to have a treat. You're welcome, we killed him today, and we quietly took our lovely little pasture away...... Ah, it's really secretive, and we didn't bump into them on a date until yesterday. ”

The two girls next to the couple began to laugh, much to the embarrassment of the somewhat shy lovers. Seriously, compared with Xiao Mu, who was in love with his ancestors, these two people also have their own merits, one is petite and delicate, and the other is sunny and cheerful.

"It's you, I'm not going today, there's something wrong. She smiled gracefully, trying to fool her around. That's it, if you continue to talk, you'll be exposed. It's really hurtful to work together for so long and not even remember their names.

"No, it's rare to have a vacation, and it's a waste to have a whole day without having fun. ”

"That's it—" The petite girl ran over, grabbed her arm and shook it, "Xiaolian, let's be together." ”

“...... That, there's really something going on today, it's not perfunctory to you~"

"I promised someone that I would take her to the park today. She laughs.

The petite girl looked like you were very bored, pouted and said, "Ahhhhhhhh By the way, what is the name of that little girl, I remember the name is a bit strange......"

The corners of Mulian's mouth curled slightly, and he immediately calmed down at the fact that he didn't remember the name of his colleague, you see, this guy is like this! She's not stupid! Even if it's stupid, she's not the only one......

Makuren thought happily, but his finger tapped lightly on the petite girl's waist and said, "Stupid, that girl's name is the fifth grammatical." You can forget such a special name......"

"What's the matter, it's not me taking care of it anyway~"

Blinked as cute, the petite girl continued to be coquettish: "Xiaolian, aren't you resting today, there will be other nurses to take care of her, it doesn't matter if you don't see it for a day." Okay, okay, let's go play together today, just once, no exception......" The girl said halfway, as if she remembered something, and suddenly exclaimed: "That's right! It's really strange to say, we have held five or six friendships before and after, but each time you are not !!"

As she spoke, she bared her teeth and danced her claws: "You are betraying the organization!!!

“...... Don't make a fuss. Feeling a little weak, he slapped the girl away on his body, and stepped onto the bus in two steps~

"Let's talk about it together next time, bye~"

Seeing her so crisply, a group of people looked at each other and sighed in unison

"Forget it, let's go hi ourselves. ”

"Alas, that's the only way, next time you must catch her, and you can't give her a chance to escape!"

Makuren is very gentle.,No matter who you talk to.,Always soft-spoken.,It's been more than a year together.,It seems that I've never seen her angry.。 No, in addition to a bland smile, the impression of her colleagues ...... It's light.

......

The bus is very crowded, and it is really uncomfortable to start and stop.

Makuren took out his mobile phone and flipped through it for a while......

She doesn't care about the news or other national events, she just flips through her phone to pass the time. She has no interest in games that interest young girls or even indulge them...... Compared with the ordinary girl next to her who was looking for hanging accessories on the mobile phone, her interests seemed a little narrow...... Well, something unusual too!

Yes, anomalous!

Abnormality is different from ordinary people, different from normal people.

She could perceive how different her small, special interests were!

However, anomalies are not something unacceptable, perhaps...... She didn't think much of it.

Half an hour later, she finally left the irritating bus and went to the hospital.

The First People's Hospital of Fenghua City, a tertiary hospital, is located in the suburbs near the Sixth Avenue of Fenghua City, and has a good reputation in the country. She became a nurse at this hospital, and it was also a job that other girls envied.

After greeting her colleagues, she walked straight to the inpatient department.

The corridors of the hospital are always neat and clean, and every once in a while, there will be a special person to do the cleaning.

But...... Along with cleanliness and hygiene, there is an unpleasant smell!

The smell of disinfectant water is pungent and unpleasant!

It stands to reason that she has been a nurse for more than a year, and she should have been accustomed to this smell for a long time, and even used to it.

However, this is not the case.

She hated the smell!

......

The First People's Hospital of Fenghua City.

A ray of sunlight shines through the gaps in the curtains, and the dust-free room doesn't even see any halos of tiny particles.

A tidy ward, a white world!

The ward is plain and white, and there is a bed in the center of the room.

She went to the bedside and pulled back the white curtains, and the morning sun poured in, staining the room with a warm glow. The brilliant light reflected on the face of the girl on the bed, leaving a little warmth.

The little patient in this room was a beautiful little girl, fourteen years old, with a somewhat thin cheek. I don't know if it's a lack of exercise, but her skin that should be pink and tender is now showing a sickly pale.

As the light fell, her eyes fluttered slightly, but she didn't react.

Lying straight on the hospital bed, like a living corpse.

"Xiaoyin, get up. The weather is very good today, we are going out to bask in the sun~~" As usual, a curtain in a white nurse's outfit walked in with a dining cart: "Xiaoyin has to be obedient, my sister will help you clean it, and you will have to brush your teeth later." ”

After gently stopping the food truck, she came to the quiet over-the-top girl and gently shook her awake

In her expectant gaze, the little girl opened her eyes and nodded at her. And then...... She looked at her expressionlessly, without even flickering her eyes, looking straight at her.

"Well, good boy, good boy~" Makuren took out a new hospital gown and gently touched her little head.

The child's reaction was already familiar to her, and even such unusual behavior could be ignored.

Perhaps, in her eyes, this is the most normal reaction. Makuren calls it "the early reaction of the small voice".

Brush your teeth, wash your face...... Carefully put the clean hospital gown on for her.

Everything is so ordinary, so skillful, like it has been demonstrated a thousand times, without any mistakes.

And that's exactly what happened.

......

Pushing a wheelchair, walking through the pale corridor.

Nurses along the way sometimes laughed, and some of the patients who had been in the hospital for a long time smiled slightly.

These two people, it's funny.

One is a patient and the other is a nurse, and that's all their relationship.

But why does it seem so coordinated?

"Xiaoyin, what do you want to eat today?Can I buy you xiaolongbao?It's delicious~~"

In the park, Makuren is on a bench, accompanying the girl in a wheelchair in a daze. It wasn't until her stomach rumbled that she remembered that she hadn't eaten breakfast yet. Shaking her head angrily, she asked the girl beside her.

Hehe, Xiaoyin was brought out by her early, and she didn't eat breakfast either~

“......”

The girl nodded expressionlessly.

"Well, I'm going to buy it. ”

The girl's reaction was the same as before, quiet and silent.

......

"Xiaoyin, come and eat this. ”

“......”

"Xiaoyin, this kind of bun is also very good,"

“......”

"Well, sure enough, xiaolongbao is the best. ”

“......”

One feeds, the other eats, and the two of them stage their daily scene in the park.

"Now, Xiaoyin ......"

"......" The girl looked at her with some confusion.

"Do you say, 'Do people need a reason to live?'

"Yes...... I think I need it, and even if I don't have one, I'll have to find one~"

She put down the bun in her hand, walked behind Xiaoyin and hugged her gently, and whispered in her ear: "Xiaoyin also set a goal for herself, whether it is good or bad, no matter how great or small...... If you are human, you always need a goal. ”

The "......" girl did not speak, not even the calm glint in her eyes did not change.

She didn't look the girl in the eyes, the scene in her eyes never changed, she knew.

She just whispered in her ear, hoping that the little voice would stay a little longer.

Inexplicably, she knew that an important moment was coming.

"If you have a goal, you can live, even if it's one more day. ”

......

By noon, the park was less crowded, and the summer heat was still unbearable.

After Xiaoyin finished lunch, Makuren pushed her to the ward.

After that she was scolded by the nurse on duty......

......

At noon, when she returned home, she lay aimlessly on the bed.

This room is too simple for a young girl. There are no cute pendants at the head of the bed, no fluffy dolls, and no piles of all kinds of clothes in the cupboard next to the bed.

Except for the sound on TV, there is not much breath of life here.

'What are the other people doing at home?'

'Isn't it all so boring......

'What do other people do when they go out?'

'Hang out, watch TV, surf the internet, chat...... Don't they feel empty?' Makuren touched his empty heart, pondering with doubt.

'Let's go to the hospital in the middle of the night, Xiaoyin......'

Lying on the bed in a daze, she said to herself in her heart...... The empty heart is much better.

As soon as she is out of her sight, she ...... It's so empty. ’

What do people do when they are alone?

I think a lot of people will reminisce about it – reminiscing about the past, reminiscing about the past.

A good memory, or a memory that makes your heart ache.

Do you feel lonely when you are alone when you are out of the crowd?

Yes.

That...... When you feel lonely, do you try to remember and seek solace in your own memories?

Maybe that memory is not good, and it may even be sad.

But ah, this memory is the most beautiful treasure of 'people'!

It is a very important part of the being that makes up the 'me' as an individual.

"What about my past......"

Holding his head, Makuren struggled to remember.

When will she be happy?

When does she feel sad?

Who did she meet and when?

What happened to her at what point and when?

When......

She would be happy when she was shy to see her help to go to the toilet, sad when she saw Xiaoyin lying motionless, who would be with her when she rushed to see Xiaoyin in the morning, and last week, the head nurse wanted her to take care of another patient, but she politely refused......... A lot of things, a lot of things.

Minor Tone Minor Tone ...... Whisper.

It's all over!

For other people, other normal people, this memory may be pale and eerie.

'But, as weird as it is, I ......'

The curtain covers his heart, and it is always warm there.

That's her anomaly.

The person named the Fifth Voicelover filled her memory with her life, and could no longer tolerate anything else.

&

Time is spent in the ordinary daily life

Every day, every day, is spent like this.

I came to the ward every morning and took care of her getting up.

Sometimes he would accompany her until noon and take her back to the ward.

Sometimes he would stay with her all day, until late at night.

During this time, the people in the hospital thought about letting someone else take care of the girl, but they were all inadvertently inadvertently manipulated by Makuren. When the others reacted, Makuren took care of Xiaoyin as if it was already a set and would not change.

......

She only knew that she needed to be by Xiaoyin's side, looking at this girl and accompanying her.

As for why?

'Ahh......h Seemingly, there is no reason for such a thing either. ’

......

......

In the early morning, the green trees outside the window stretch out their branches and shimmer in the brilliant light.

There was rain last night, and it didn't stop until the early hours of the morning, and there were still small pools of water on the road.

"Xiaoyin, why do you keep looking out the window lately, do you have anything you like?"

When the curtain came, Xiaoyin had already gotten up, and she was half-leaning on the bed, looking out the window in a daze.

“.........”

"Forget it, let's change your clothes first, then brush your teeth and wash your face, and take you out for a walk today. Makuren didn't care very much, took the hospital gown, and looked at the girl's thin and weak body.

She closed the door and stripped off her clothes. Her body was emaciated, and her hands and legs were crisscrossed with scars. His legs were thin and his joints were exposed, and the meridians of his arms were broken, and he couldn't lift his strength. There was a red mark on her white neck that cut her throat. And on the lower abdomen, which should have been white and soft, there are hideous wounds with good scalpel marks and jack healing.

"Xiaoyin, the wound has healed, Xiaoyin can live. Everything will pass, everything is already in the past, and this moment is also in the past. The girl got dressed as she swayed, her expression a little confused.

Mu Lian suddenly stopped his movements, and it wasn't until Xiaoyin looked at her in confusion that she showed a smile: "Maybe I'm wrong...... Since Xiaoyin has decided, let's do it. Whether it's here or now, you won't be alone, that's my promise. ”

......

Recently, it has been raining continuously, which is unpleasant.

Holding up an umbrella, Makuren got out of the crowded and humid bus.

She didn't go straight home, but took a leisurely stroll through the streets.

'Why are these people in a hurry to go home?'

'Is there anything to be nostalgic for at home?'

'I don't understand ......'

Looking at the crowd shuttling around him, Makuren tilted his head slightly in distress.

Family...... That room?

Well, it doesn't mean anything special to her.

That night, she walked for a long time and finally stopped at a gazebo.

Leaning against the cold pillar, she looked out of the gazebo.

At night, the summer night is foggy and rainy, and in the hazy rain and fog, huge water droplets fall, flickering and shining under the street lamps.

'Rain...... Beautiful?'

Yes.

It doesn't seem to be...... Makuren carefully tasted the taste in his heart, there was nothing special.

'Little Voice...... For example, this rain is an interest for some people, and Xiaoyin is also an interest for her. Although it is very problematic to regard one as one's own interest, in one's own heart, it is like this. What I really care about is always ...... The man. ’

There is no particular reason for this, and the answer has been there since the beginning of thinking about it. ’

Maybe all this is abnormal in the eyes of others, but in my own heart, it is so ordinary. ’

Thinking about it, she gently closed her eyes and took a nap.

'Let's go to her again after dawn...'

.........

The rain of the summer night came and went in a hurry, and by midnight, the thick rain clouds had dispersed.

In the distant sky, there is a bright moon hanging in the sky.

Suddenly, Makuren opened his eyes.

She shook her fists and walked quickly away from the gazebo.

&

Xiaoyin died, that night.