In the afternoon, the two of them rested for a while on the recliner at the fat sister-in-law's house. In just half an hour, Chen Jiayi fell asleep and had a long and absurd dream.

In the dream, she went back to when she was a child, about seven or eight years old, and she was helping her grandfather sort wood blocks in the yard of her hometown, that is, sorting the discarded wood again. She must have been picking for a while, because she felt tired and sleepy, but she still persevered. If she doesn't do these jobs, she wants her grandmother to do them. The more she does, the less grandma can do...... At this time, Chen Jiabao, whose face was a little blurred, walked over, holding a blazing torch in his hand. In fact, in the dream, Chen Jiayi didn't see Chen Jiabao's appearance clearly, but he had an intuition of his. Although there was a sense of absurdity, Chen Jiayi was still a little flustered in her dream, obviously she could lift a very heavy wooden block, but she couldn't stop Chen Jiabao from reaching out the torch to the wood she had already built, and watched the pile of wood turn into a pile of flames......

Shang Xiaoshu and Chen Jiayi were lying side by side on the recliner placed under the pergola, while Chen Jiayi was falling asleep, Shang Xiaoshu was playing a chess and card game on his mobile phone, and heard movement from Chen Jiayi's side, and asked, "It's a little hot, can't you sleep?" ”

didn't hear a response, she turned her head to look over, and saw Chen Jiayi, who was lying flat, with her legs twitching, her eyes closed, and her head sweating profusely...... Is this a ghost press? Shang Xiaoshu hurriedly put down his phone, got up, and patted Chen Jiayi's shoulder with his hand, "Jiayi, Jiayi, what's wrong?" ”

Chen Jiayi opened his eyes suddenly, first glanced at Shang Xiaoshu blankly, slowly stretched his limbs, and then closed his eyes again, and after a minute or two, he muttered and replied, "I had a dream......

She hadn't had such a dream in a while, and she used to dream back to when she was a child, especially in the days before and after giving birth. It's not a nightmare, many are recreations of real life or similar when I was a child, but without exception are depressing, unhappy memories. Every time, I wake up in pain and struggle, and it is difficult to fall asleep.

At the beginning, Chen Jiayi communicated with Ding Yuan, and Ding Yuan felt that she was thinking too much, plus he had a lot of entertainment, so he went home late every day, fell asleep, and couldn't wake up after thunder. After a long time, Chen Jiayi didn't want to take the initiative to say anything. After giving birth, although she has a confinement lady and a nanny to help, she still needs to do many things herself, tired, and often has a feeling that she can't resist.

At that time, she didn't know that there was postpartum depression, she only felt that the current life was not the life she wanted, and she couldn't say what kind of life she wanted for a while, and asked herself over and over again, why she was so tired and why she was so tired...... If it weren't for the cuteness of the child, Chen Jiayi would really want to leave.

This kind of thought frightened him, and Chen Jiayi felt that it would not work like this. I began to look up relevant information on the Internet, and found a well-known psychologist through the Internet, who is very good at consulting various women's issues. After listening to her situation, the psychiatrist asked Chen Jiayi if she had been under too much pressure in life and work recently? Let her not suppress herself too much, especially not to be herself. It also taught her a way to relieve stress and heal herself, to treat herself as another person, to get along with herself like someone else, and to learn to get along with herself. Like other people, be thankful when you should be grateful, praise when you should praise, sympathize when you should sympathize, and forgive when you should forgive.

When Chen Jiayi divided herself according to the method taught by a psychiatrist, she found that the self she wanted to talk to, the self buried in her heart was always a child, a child who was often anxious and longed for attention. She tries to tell herself over and over again that you are great, that you have done well, that it is not your fault, that you can live the way you want...... There have been many back-and-forths in the meantime, you could have done better, you were also wrong on this issue, and you can't be so selfish and only think about yourself...... Denying over and over again, trying to affirm yourself over and over again.

It wasn't until she followed her inner thoughts and decided to separate from Ding Yuan and take Tongtong to the neighboring city to take her mother, who was widowed again, back to her home, and the number of insomnia was finally much less. Because of her mother's help with housework and taking care of the children, Chen Jiayi felt a little more relaxed.

Later, I learned from a psychiatrist that I had passed by depression, and Chen Jiayi was scared for a while. Especially later, I often saw postpartum mothers jumping off the building with their children in their arms, and I felt even more fortunate. It's a little hard to imagine, if something happens to her, what will happen to the child? The Chen family will pay for it, and it is estimated that there is no one to help take care of the children, so they can only be handed over to Ding Yuan's parents to take them. What about her mother? It is not realistic to continue to live on her stepson, her stepfather's own family is quite difficult, even if she has the heart to take care of her stepmother, she has more than enough heart but not enough strength; What about her grandparents? Don't look at the two old people in the eyes of others, but Chen Jiayi has always known that they are lonely in their hearts, and they are looking forward to the arrival of the weekend almost every day, and only their children and grandchildren can go home to see it on weekends, and in addition to Chen Jiayi, who will definitely go back every week, the two old people will often be disappointed......

It's autumn, and you need to wear a thick coat in the morning and evening, but the afternoon sun is still quite dry.

Chen Jiayi took the tissue handed over by Shang Xiaoshu, wiped the sweat on his face, and then continued to lie down, slowly telling about those difficult days and his own mental journey.

Shang Xiaoshu listened quietly, although everyone is responsible for their own choices, and no one can replace the feelings of another person. She may not fully understand Chen Jiayi's pain, but she still feels sad and sorry, so she can only reach out and pat the back of Chen Jiayi's hand, and silently say in her heart, "I'm sorry, my friend, I couldn't accompany you on that road."

Chen Jiayi never said that Ding Yuan was not.

There were no more guests in the yard of the fat sister-in-law's house, only the fat sister-in-law and her husband occasionally entered the yard to take down their things and start preparing for the weekend dinner.

Chen Jiayi felt that although she had a nightmare, she was still quite relieved after squinting for a while, and proposed to go out for a walk, she hadn't climbed the peak next door for a long time. Take advantage of the fact that there is no one on the weekdays today and go for a walk. Shang Xiaoshu naturally had no objections.

As a result, it was Chen Jiayi who proposed to climb the mountain, and she was the one who couldn't climb. Just halfway up the mountain, a steep mountain road made Chen Jiayi panting, waving his hand again and again, "No, no, can't climb", I really want to sit on the ground. But there was dirt and gravel everywhere, and there was not even a large boulder to sit on. There are pavilions for tea farmers and tourists to rest, but it will take at least ten to twenty minutes to climb. Shang Xiaoshu saw that Chen Jiayi was obviously a little physically exhausted, so he stretched out his hand to let her lead, and pulled her up slowly.

The two climbed to the top of the mountain, looked side by side at the tea plantations all over the mountain, the lush trees and the rolling small mountains were crawling at their feet, looked at each other, and felt that the hard work of this road, to be able to enjoy such a beautiful scenery, to have each other's company, it feels very good and worthwhile.