Holding back the sore discomfort in my throat, I slowly reached out and grabbed his back and buried myself in his arms.

His rare emotions were exposed, and he hugged me tighter, and the whole person trembled imperceptibly, which made my heart ache for a while.

"Why, don't you tell me?"

His voice sounded so lost and sad that it made my tears fall faster and more. I sniffed his aroma fiercely and sobbed back, "I didn't want to mention the past." Besides, I don't want to, because of this, to make you sympathize with me. ”

Tell Ren Zijin, and naturally you will know everything.

"No, it won't." He caressed my back, but his arms tightened. The two low and deep words made me feel his fear, his fear, his cherishment, his helplessness, his helplessness, and his self-blame and guilt: "I just, I feel distressed." I feel sorry for you for suffering so much, and when I feel sorry for you and you are sad, I didn't stay with you. ”

I listened and couldn't help but whimper quietly.

His voice was also dyed with sad trills and remorse: "I regret it, why didn't I ask Lu Zhixin about your whereabouts in the first place." I regret it even more, when Lu Zhixin said that you are very good, I didn't have a trace of doubt. ”

With tears in my eyes, I gently patted him on the back and comforted him: "Even if you ask, she won't say anything." ”

Because if you say it, it will affect you. And Lu Zhixin knows that this is the last thing I want to see.

Lu Zhixin and I grew up growing up, what I think, she knows best, and it is not an exaggeration to say that it is the second one. I didn't let her say it because she knew best what I was worried about, so naturally she wouldn't talk much.

I choked up and couldn't speak, and explained to him intermittently: "When I was found to have an anxiety disorder, I was very scared, and I felt inferior and sad. I'm not as good as you, I've been in such a big disaster, and I have this mental illness, and I feel that I'm even worse than you. At that time, Lu Zhixin knew how sad and painful I was, so I didn't say it, and she wouldn't take the initiative to mention it. ”

Jiang Yueze didn't make a sound, just kept stroking my long hair, but my neck socket clearly felt a burst of wetness, with a hot and scorching temperature, which made my tears even more broken.

My voice couldn't hold back any longer, and the shout rushed out of my throat wantonly: "Jiang Yueze, I'm afraid of death, I'm really afraid of death." I really don't want to leave you again. I really don't want to go through such pain again! ”

Jiang Yueze's big tears smashed on the skin of my neck socket, as if they were the switch of my tears, so that my grievances for many years couldn't help but pour out and wash away with my tears; It seems to be a strong and effective soothing, so that my whole soul has found a warm place to rely on, I can rest in peace, or I can cry hypocritically.

I don't know how long it took for Jiang Yueze to let go of me. He gently wiped away my tears with pity, kissed my eyelids, and his voice was so soft and distressed that I almost couldn't hear it: "My first dawn is so strong, so powerful. All those difficult days have passed. ”

I listened to his gentle voice, tears blurring my eyes again.

He raised his bony hand, wiped away my tears with warm fingertips, his voice couldn't be lower, and his distress and love seemed to be overflowing: "If you don't want to mention it, we won't mention it." Anyway, you won't be wronged again. ”

"In the future, no matter what you do, I will spoil you. Good no good? ”

I looked into his eyes with teary eyes, unable to utter a word.

He held my face and kissed me softly one after another, "In the future, I will accompany you to school, go out to play, walk with you, and accompany you to go for a review." I'm always with you, so don't be afraid, okay? ”

I nodded, "Okay".

"I will take care of you for the rest of your life, and I swear in the name of a biological man."

"Every day from now on, I will do it, love you as I love life."

I looked at his reddish eyes, serious expression, and starry eyes, and threw myself into his arms again, and burst into tears again.

"Thank you, Jiang Yueze." I say.

Thank you, give me the confidence and confidence to be pampered, and let me be the freshly clothed angry horse Fang Jinyu again.

Thank you for making me like and love, and growing up side by side with you.

Thank you for loving me as much as I love you.

That night, Jiang Yueze took me out of school and stayed with me in the hotel for the night.

I turned off my phone, Jiang Yueze was responsible for explaining the reason to my friends who cared about me, explaining the reason to Lu Zhixin, and accompanying me to have supper, ordering what I like to eat is kimchi bibimbap, rice cakes, and bubble tea.

When I calmed down, he took me to wash and let me nestle in his arms, gradually calming down.

He didn't ask me about my anxiety disorder, but I started babbling on and on about the cause of my anxiety disorder, what happened, and what happened.

I started to talk about hurting Peng Meixin again, and he didn't feel verbose, he just listened quietly, and gave me a kiss from time to time.

I told him how helpless, how broken, and how much I missed him when I couldn't sleep all night. I told him how scared I was, how much I was in pain, how much I wanted to run away, how much I wanted to hug him, how much I wanted to hear him, how much I wanted to hear him, how much I wanted to hear him, how much I wanted to hear him say, "You are the best, you can." ”

I told him how lonely I was when I reread it, how crazy I was to know about him. But every time I see his poster at the school gate during the holidays, when I see his photo on the bulletin board during recess, I feel satisfied and painful, he is so beautiful, I finally cut off contact with him.

I told him that when I knew that my grandmother had died, I was standing on the roof of the main building, wanting to cry and tell him that I missed you so much. But in the end, only the howling cold wind accompanied me, stinging my skin and making me cry silently.

I told him that when I was doing psychological counseling, when the attending doctor asked me to write down what I was thinking, I wrote his name on a full page, and I said sorry to Peng Meixin, to my grandmother, and to him, covering the entire A4 paper.

I said without saying anything, Jiang Yueze 2 just listened quietly, and when he was emotional, he kissed my earlobe, patted me gently, and told me that he was.

When finally, when everything was said and done, he hugged me tightly, stroked my long hair, and soothed me. Reading the Library

I was a little curious as to why he didn't give a look: "Why don't you speak?" ”

He didn't answer me immediately, he just took me into his arms and said for a long time: "I don't know what to say." ”

I shook his hand and said softly, "You can say anything." ”

He was silent for a while, and waited until a long time before replying softly: "I can't do anything but listen and feel distressed." ”

The tone was full of helpless guilt and self-blame.

My eyes were hot again, and the hand holding his waist tightened again, and my heart was full of cherishment and satisfaction that had been lost: "No, you did." Your companionship with me is my greatest comfort. ”

He was slightly startled, and then hugged me tighter.

Jiang Yueze accompanied me all night, and I slept soundly, and I was no longer entangled by the past.

Jiang Yueze didn't urge me, let me sleep until I woke up naturally. By the time I woke up, it was already 9 a.m.

Jiang Yueze had already gotten up, and when he saw me wake up, he sat down gently, and said softly: "Get up and wash up, and take you to breakfast." ”

I rubbed my eyes and got up a little and muttered, "It's morning, where did you get breakfast?" ”

He shook my hand funny and kissed it: "Zhou Ji's shredded chicken porridge, seafood porridge, red bean cake, pumpkin crisp, do you want to eat it?" ”

When I heard this, my eyes lit up instantly: "Yes!" ”

"Then get up and go wash up."

I answered and went to wash up.

When I sat down in Zhou Ji's shop and drank hot shrimp porridge, I was comfortable screaming.

Just as I was happy to eat, I saw Sun Zeyi walk in with his new girlfriend.

I smiled at him a little awkwardly, but he looked at me very openly and nodded at me.

I looked at his meticulous appearance towards that girl, and I couldn't help but think of Xing Sisi.

Did he do the same to Xing Sisi before, being careful and gentle, and taking good care of him?

After that, I somehow remembered Xu Siyang.

What should I do with him? It's a real headache.

I didn't know what Xu Siyang thought about me before, I could be friends with him without distractions, and share life, study, and love with him. But now that I know, I can no longer pretend I don't know anything.

This is both hurt and torture for him.

"Concentrate on eating." Jiang Yueze sandwiched the pumpkin crisp in front of me, and reminded me helplessly and seriously.

I quickly came back to my senses, oh, and stuffed the pumpkin crisp into my mouth, but I didn't dare to meet his eyes.

"What's wrong?" He noticed that something was wrong with me, and asked softly, with a little banter: "What did you do wrong?" ”

I chewed on the soft and glutinous pumpkin crisp and muttered quietly: "It's really a shame, and I feel a little embarrassed, and I don't know how to say it." ”

He sighed meaningfully, "What's that?" ”

I hesitated and hesitated, but I still didn't speak.

He looked at me like this, and couldn't help laughing at first: "Since that's the case, then don't say it." ”

I breathed a sigh of relief, and I felt very uncomfortable again.

It stands to reason that if you like someone, you will want to know all about her, especially if she is sorry for him like this, he should get to the bottom of it, how did he get here, so generous?

Is it too trusting, or is it simply not caring enough?

"Don't be cranky." Jiang Yueze explained loudly, his expression was serious and spoiled: "Being with me does not conflict with being yourself." Therefore, I respect you and believe in you in whatever you do. ”

I pursed my lips, smiled a little embarrassedly, and only said with some embarrassment for a long time: "Xu Siyang...... It seems like...... I. ”

I stammered, and I omitted keywords. After saying that, I looked at his face carefully, for fear that he would be angry and unhappy.

But he just blinked and said calmly, "I know." ”

My eyes widened instantly, he knew?!